Rookiehood 101, Tuesday, Period 4

[raspberryturk]

"Sometimes you ain't strong enough." That was Reno's opening statement for the day, yes. He was standing in the classroom well before any of the students arrived, with his arms crossed over his chest and a solemn expression on his face. Possibly the first time some of his students had seen him looking anything but smug, he supposed. They'd have to cope. "Sometimes, you're gonna have to get out there and do shit that you know is too damn big for you, and either you ain't gonna be able to get it done, or else you will, and that'll end up bein' all the worse, yo."

He cast his gaze across the students in the room.

"Every damn thing you do is the direct result of a decision you made. It don't matter if it's orders. You follow 'em, it was you who chose to. And some of them, it don't matter what you're doing for the rest of your life, are gonna stick with you, zoto. They're gonna stare at you when you close your eyes and they're gonna scream at you when you're lyin' down in your bed at night, tryin' not to sleep because when you sleep, it just gets louder."

He'd started to pace, now. Slowly, from one side of the room to the other, in front of the desks. The entire time, his eyes were carefully fixed on a point on the wall, well away from anything resembling eye-contact with anyone in the room.

"Maybe you're one of them people who ain't gonna ever have to choose between blood on your hands or peace of mind. Lucky you. The rest of you..." And now he looked away from the wall, seeking out the eyes of the people in the classroom, one by one. "When you leave this room today, just remember that the right decision ain't always the easy one to make. Sometimes, it'll be the one nobody wants you to make. Sometimes, it'll be the last thing anyone wants to do. And makin' it might cost you everything, yoto. You'll know what I'm talkin' about when you get there. And when you do... Don't let it be bigger'n you, Rookies. You can't take back most of what you do, so do it right the first time."

He grinned. Sometimes, Reno's grins were two inches shy of completely sane.

"No class discussion today. Leave if you wanna, or stay here if you don't. But either way, I want all of you to think about where it is you're gonna go from here, and what hard decisions you might have to make someday, yo. Are you gonna be the one who follows orders and lives with it, or are you gonna be the one who puts your foot down, gives 'em the finger, and decides to do what's right, instead?"

[Open!]

Comments

Sign In

[raspberryturk]

With something you need to live down.

Re: Sign In

[awakestheghosts]

Chloe Saunders

Re: Sign In

[intraspective]

Yamanaka Ino

Re: Sign In

[weetuskenraider]

Tahiri Veila

Re: Sign In

[momslilassassin]

Ben Skywalker

Lecture

[raspberryturk]

Sit, listen, pick your nose, whatever.

Think on it

[raspberryturk]

Mull it over, or leave. You can talk to classmates if you want to, or keep it to yourself. Write it down, think it up, whatever suits you best. Reno isn't going to ask a single one of you about what it is you think tomorrow might bring, of course. That isn't any of his business unless you want to make it his business.

Re: Think on it

[intraspective]

She wasn't leaving, but she wasn't writing anything down.

All her thoughts and speculations were staying right in her head--she'd talk if someone wanted to, but about what... well, that was the question, wasn't it?

Re: Think on it

[momslilassassin]

Mmm, memories Ben hated revisiting.

He shoved them aside with a good mental shove, then glanced over at Tahiri to make sure she was okay.

Re: Think on it

[weetuskenraider]

Tahiri didn't look happy, precisely, but she didn't look like she was in any danger of shattering if a puff of wind came by, either; she glanced at Ben and managed something that could very generously be called a hint of a smile as she got up and moved silently toward him.

Because she was pretty sure none of the bothersome decisions she'd made -- there were still orders she'd given pilots at Ebaq 9 that came back to haunt her -- weighed on her the way some of Ben's did on him. Which meant he was doing that thing again, focusing on everyone else's problems. She didn't blame him, in this case.

Re: Think on it

[momslilassassin]

He wrapped his arms around himself and gave her a not-quite-sincere smile in return. "Can't give the past too much power over the present, right?" he murmured.

Re: Think on it

[gorka-wolf.livejournal.com]

"I knew what I was getting into when I joined the NR," Makita stated, clear and calm. She wasn't ashamed of what she'd done for her people and she was proud of her Papa's training. "Nothing worth having is ever easy."

"The Elders give an order? I go. What does the cost to me matter? We've been fighting for four hundred years; the cost can't get much higher."

Re: Think on it

[glacial_queen]

Karla wasn't leaving. And while her dreams were mostly untroubled by the decisions she's made so far, she knew that wasn't always going to be the case. And there was that 'mostly' to think of.

The memories of Briarwood had been Jaenelle's, given over to Karla's keeping. The memories of Glacia and the ghosts? Those all belonged to her.

Re: Think on it

[whateverknight.livejournal.com]

A soldier who didn't follow orders was useless.

A soldier who didn't question orders was equally useless.

Squall could only think of one big decision he'd ever made that he'd regretted -- letting Rinoa surrender herself to Esthar -- and he'd fixed that. Not that he hadn't MADE more bad decisions than that, but he

(Whatever issues Reno has, they're not my problem.)

He got up, gathered his things, and got ready to go.

Re: Think on it

[heromaniac]

Momoko had jumped into a few things bigger than her, don't let the smiles fool you. Maybe they weren't as big or bad as some people might think, but it was all relative, right?

The difference was really orders, and she mused over that for a while. She'd never been ordered to do any of them; they'd just needed doing. She was sure if ordered to do something like risk her and her teammate's lives to take down Him, she'd be fine. But she doubted Reno was talking about something as clear-cut as sealing a crazy, evil demon that bent on destroying Tokyo City (if not the world).

The TAs

[raspberryturk]

Who, although they are still Rookies, have both had to face things that were bigger than them, too, we're sure.

Re: The TAs

[gorka-wolf.livejournal.com]

Makita had willing jumped into the barrel of a tank about to fire. And then she'd followed her orders and run while her father burned to death under the fire of the Reds. Decisions? Personal cost?

That didn't matter when it was about survival.

Re: The TAs

[findingelena.livejournal.com]

Elena was here. Thinking about scars. Mental and physical both.

Re: The TAs

[likethestore.livejournal.com]

K-Mart caught the look on Elena's face. Not sad, not regretful, just... the look you could easily find on the face of anybody who'd seen too much and had too much weighing on their mind.

And Elena was her friend. They weren't close, but close didn't matter with what they'd faced together. (Zombies ruining a field trip? Kind of bonded you for life, to a degree.)

So K-Mart made her way over. "Hey," she said softly. "You okay?"

Re: The TAs

[findingelena.livejournal.com]

"I'm fine," Elena said, not much louder than K-Mart had been. "I ..."

Yeah, that wasn't true.

"Bad memories," she said. "... You?"

She wasn't the only one this class had to be hitting hard.

(SO sorry -- this got lost in the pile of party-notifs for Rinoa so I didn't see it until now, zomg!)

Reno

[raspberryturk]

Who, looking back, can pick out each and every time he didn't make the right decision. He can't count them on his fingers, anymore.

Re: Reno

[findingelena.livejournal.com]

"You look rough," Elena said carefully. "I'm ... sorry. Is that because of ... me?"

Not her, per se, but the mess with her sister. It felt diplomatic to leave that out.

Re: Reno

[raspberryturk]

"Not just," Reno sighed. "One of them weeks, I think."

He frowned for a moment, looking across the classroom.

"Think maybe I overdid it a little?"

Re: Reno

[findingelena.livejournal.com]

"It's an important lesson," Elena shrugged. "Not something you can follow up with arts and crafts time. Maybe it'll sink it better this way."

She was not going to ask. She wasn't.

Yes, she was.

"Have you ... talked to her?"

OOC

[raspberryturk]

Mmmm, the heavy stuff.