fandomhigh | Breaking the Glass Ceiling, Tuesday

"We've spoken," Kerrigan started in, as soon as the door had shut behind the last student. She gave no other warning, "To some extent, about the kinds of subterfuge you need when the scales are tipped against you. Because the day, the moment, the whatever where you realise that the upstairs is keeping you from your full potential is the moment you either lie down and die, or you begin to adapt to the principles of asymmetrical warfare."

There were several chessboards laid out before her, but she didn't say anything. Yet. "Some of you will have the misfortune of a struggle that doesn't involve guns and explosions. Some of you might have to kill your way up to the top. But no matter which one you wind up going with, you need to keep in mind what I have been trying to teach you: you're on your own. Manage your assets wisely."

She gestured at the TAs ~~if they were there~~ to distribute some handouts. "The Thirty-Six Stratagems," she said, "Don't let any idiot tell you they're 'strategies' - it's a little more subtle than that. An old Chinese wiseman jotted these down so that you, my darling students, can learn how to wine, dine, and cheat your way through the inexcusably oppressive ranks. I want you all to pay special attention to chapter six. Defeat Stratagems."

She smiled dangerously. "Number one: the beauty trap. Use someone, use yourself, whatever - someone desirable to cause havoc, to distract, and to pit people against each other. It's... easier to rise up when your enemies think you the friend and each other the adversary. Number two: the empty fort. Make them think your... specialness gives you more power than they could possibly comprehend. Feel free to insinuate towards your education here - that'll throw a few for a loop. Number three: Let the enemy sow discord in their own camp." She smirked. "I know all of you know how to gossip, insinuate... embellish."

She leaned her hands onto the table. "Number four: We've talked about this. Make yourself look like a wounded deer and you'll find people will come running to help you. Number five: run several plans simultaneously. Complex machinations might mess with your enemy's head - but it might also blow the whole thing out of the water. And number six..."

She paused. "Well. Let's translate that to 'always keep an exit and use it', kids. All of that 'going down with the ship' crap is nice and proud but it's of no use if the bastards fucking with you get to walk off crowing victory afterwards." She pulled away from the desk. "Read the rest of them. Think about it. We'll come back to this next week."

"Today, we're doing something else." She nodded towards the chess set. "Chess. With no rules - or rather, rules, but no rules within rules. I want you all to memorise the stratagems and put them to use. And I don't just mean by playing with the board - who knows, you might drive one of these teenage boys to distraction with a quick shimmy."

She sounded dry as hell, but at least after that, she fell silent.

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//Me?// Jono kept his eye on her for a moment, before turning his attention back to the board. Now that the pawn was forward, he could safeguard his side of the board by moving a rook forward into the position that his pawn had previously been inhabiting. //A sheep in wolf's clothing, I suppose.//

He allowed himself a moment to attempt what might have, under more whole circumstances, been a self-depreciating smile.

//My baa is far worse than my bite, luv.//

Tara snickered. She had a weakness for puns. "Well, uh, ewe would know best," she said, and paused. "Except a ewe is a girl sheep, and I don't think you're a girl, so ... that was sort of lame."

She shrugged it off as she scooted yet another pawn out.

Jonothon shrugged as well, taking her pawn into consideration before picking another of his own up and then setting it down on the chessboard again with a soft clack.

//I've made worse, I'm certain,// he replied, bemused. //None that leap immediately to mind, of course...//

Possibly because he wasn't trying hard enough.

"We could probably come up with some if we really wanted to?" Tara offered. "I kind of go dead when I try to do it on purpose, though."

//You have trouble coming up with bad puns when yer makin' the effort?// Jono raised an eyebrow, but let it go, shrugging his shoulders and settling back in his seat. //There are some people who would consider that a good thing, actually.//

"Well, um, most of the jokes I want to make are about, like, stuff I've read?" Tara said, painfully earnest. "A lot of people kind of miss the humor sometimes."

This statement really opened up the floor for another speculative pause.

//I work in th'library, gel. Try me.//

"I can't just --" Tara squeaked, then bit her lip and kept her eyes trained on the chessboard as she tried to put words in order. "Okay, so, um a m'fashnik demon walks into a bar, and the bartender says 'we don't serve your kind in here.' And then the m'fashnik says 'that's okay, it's not for me, it's for the wihouli.'"

Apparently, that was the punchline.

... Well, Jono supposed that he'd gone and asked for it, hadn't he?

//Apparently,// he said, at length, //I work in th'wrong sort of library.//

Or else he was just reading the wrong sorts of books.

"See, it's funny because a wouhouli is..."

Tara's explanation was about three times as long as the joke.

It was also not actually funny.

There was another long, almost painful pause from Jono, then, before he nodded.

//Right, I get it now.// He almost wished he didn't, but he did. //That one where you called me a ewe, that was a cute one, luv.//

It was his idea of a peace offering, of sorts. It needed work.

[And sleep for me! Night!]

Breaking the Glass Ceiling, Tuesday

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