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Rookiehood 101, Tuesday, Period 4

"Attitude," Reno said, walking into the classroom today with his usual swagger, "is going to be what makes or breaks you all in the end, yo. People can tell a lot about a person by the way they carry themselves, by the words they use and the expressions they let show on their faces. I could probably take a good, hard look at each and every one of you and pick out which of you don't wanna be here, which of you actually wanna learn, which of you are tryin' hard not to roll their eyes at me and which ones ain't gonna bother makin' the attempt. It don't matter what the job you're doin' is, yo. You walk into it tellin' yourself that it's gonna suck, and it will."

He twitched a crooked smile at the assorted gaggle of rookies, and then crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back against the desk.

"Trick to bein' successful at the job is bein' able to put across the right kinda attitude, no matter what it is you're actually feelin'. You can be havin' a shitty day, but if you show up to work with a smile on your face, who's gonna know that you ain't at your peak performance? On the other hand, is the job you're doin' the kind were you wanna come off as competent? Would it suit you better to have people take one look at you and brush you off? Maybe havin' people underestimate you means that you'll be able to target their weak points down the road without them ever seein' it coming, yoto. Know what attitude is gonna serve you best when you're doin' what you're doin', and then master it. Be that attitude, yo. No matter what's gnawin' at you underneath, whatever it is that people see is what's gonna get the job done, no matter what."

It had taken a lot of self-control to keep from adding, 'because we're Turks' to the end of that statement. Old force of habit.

"Our exercises for today are gonna come in three parts, yo. First, I'm gonna get you guys who paired off last week to share with the class about your experiences as rookie an' mentor. Did the rookie give a hard time to the one in charge? Was the teacher doin' an okay job keepin' the rookie outta trouble? Do you both need to take an aspirin after bein' stuck dealin' with one another, this week?"

He smirked. He could wager a guess as to how many students that last one was going to be relevant to.

"Then I want you to all pair off again, preferably with someone you ain't gotten to know too well. Get to talkin', and try to figure out how much you can tell about your partner by how they hold themselves, how they talk. Try an' figure out their attitude, yo. And then compare notes with one another and see how right you were."

He liked that part, okay.

"Then, once you got an idea where people think your strengths and weaknesses are, try to figure out what you can do to fix that. Who do you wanna be? What steps are you gonna have to take to make it that far? Is it really just a matter of wakin' up every day and tellin' yourself that you're gonna be the best at what you do? Remember, optimism and productivity ain't necessarily the same thing. You can believe shit's gonna change, but that ain't hardly the same thing as gettin' out there and makin' the difference."

[Open!]

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"Coffee," she agreed quickly, following him out of the classroom. "Your place. It's not ... Tseng's fine. Rude's fine. I didn't just get awful news from home, if that's what you're ..."

He had to be thinking the worst, and she wasn't exactly helping with that. Better at least to rule out some of the major gutshots.

Home was a particularly bad choice of words, in this occasion, but she was trying not to think about that.

Elena fumbled for anything else to say that might be reassuring. Not coming up with much.

Reno had learned long ago that it was always better to assume the worst. That way, when shit turned out to be not as bad as you anticipated, it wouldn't end up leaving you winded on the floor.

... Generally.

"Not from home? But still important. Enough to leave you off, yo." He glanced at her over his shoulder, and then gave his head a small shake. "Which means it's somethin' from here. And that ain't always good news, either."

"It's not," she agreed, to the last point. "It's never good news, is it?"

Not in their line of work.

"I should have called," she said. "It was two days ago. I didn't know what to say. But you should find out from me before ..."

Before all hell broke loose. Before he had another Rookie banging on his door, demanding answers.

"She knows."

It sounded flat. He would know what that meant. He wouldn't ask her to clarify who, or what she knew. There wasn't much that it could be, all things considered.

At least she had held that until they were outside. At least she hadn't burst into tears.

There was a moment of calm, empty silence from Reno. It was all in the attitude.

Always had been. And now, the attitude was Turk.

"How much?"

It was almost a relief. Almost a weight off his shoulders. One of several that had been sitting there, lately. If Rosalind knew, then it was up to her where she'd end up, someday. And it wasn't on him to make the call whether or not to warn her.

Given the other Rookie he was keeping one hell of a secret from, on the other hand, the relief made him into one hell of a hypocrite.

He kept walking. All in the attitude. Cool. Unaffected. Strong.

The screaming was reserved for another time. When he was behind closed doors, alone. Maybe never at all.

She folded her arms, trying to hold herself together. Easier if you switched into Turk mode. Feelings went off, and information was relayed as if it happened to someone else.

"Barely anything," Elena said. "She asked a few pointed questions and didn't like my answers. She drew her own deductions from there. I improvised a cover story. She didn't buy it."

"She's a Turk," Reno pointed out.

Turks were practically bred to sniff out cover stories.

"She don't know when or where or how, then?"

"No," Elena said softly. "Only that it's my fault."

She had cracked. Had latched on to her sister and tearfully apologized. Turk Mode was hard to switch on when family was involved.

"If she asks ... she has a right to know."

Translation: Elena would tell Rosalind, if she asked. Hypocrisy be damned. This was her sister.

Reno swallowed, hard. In spite of the state of mind that he was hell-bent on staying in. In spite of the fact that getting even one Turk to change the course of actions that they made could get the world wiped flat by AVALANCHE's world-ending summon.

In spite of all of that.

There were just some things that you couldn't keep a gameface on for. Rosalind wasn't his sister, but until he had come here, the Turks were all the family Reno had ever known.

"I ain't gonna stop you," he said, at length. "If she asks."

"Thanks," Elena said. Her arms were wrapped around herself, tightly, as if she were freezing.

"I just thought ... she'll probably come to you. To ask. So I should have ... called, before now, I just ..."

Hadn't.

"I'm sorry."

Reno shrugged. It didn't say a hell of a lot, except perhaps that he had restless shoulders. But he did so anyhow.

"Now I know to expect it, yo." Forewarned was forearmed, and all. "You ain't got nothin' to be sorry about, Elena."

"I should have figured she'd ask," Elena said. "If I had a better cover story in place, I could have pulled it off. She put a few things together, and then I ..."

Couldn't lie as well to her face. Dammit.

Edited 2010-06-09 00:20 (UTC)

That was a sigh, right there. The sort that started in Reno's chest and made his shoulders heave a little as he exhaled, vocally.

"Nobody expects you to be a Turk while you're here, Rookie. You know that, right?"

It was either a Turk, or a sibling. You couldn't possibly be both at the same time.

She glanced down, not sure how to respond to that. Then she nodded.

"I can't be," she said. "With her. I tried. It didn't work. Everything else can go to hell. She's family."

Reno was, too, in a way. The Turks protected one another first. He'd understand.

"I think I'm relieved," she admitted.

"Good to not be dancin' around that shit no more?" Reno twitched a little smile at that, and he nodded a little. "I can imagine, yo. Between you an' me, I was kinda thinkin', shit, it shouldn't be such a friggin' relief to have that out. But at the same time..."

Well, it was. All the same, he wished that Rosalind hadn't figured it out. But...

"Be the sister, Elena. Worry about bein' a Turk when you're in uniform, back in Edge. In Junon, even, if Tseng gets his shit together. But be a sister, here. Because you're gonna miss the hell outta this when it's gone again."

Elena was nodding, quickly. "I think that's why -- I couldn't just --"

Being a sister outranked everything else. Even duty.

She stopped dead in her tracks and reached over, impulsively, to pull Reno into a hug.

"I'm sorry," she said again. "I'm messing it all up."

... It was entirely possible that Reno hadn't actually been expecting that. Which would explain the awkward pat on the back that he was giving her, there, while he picked his brain over, trying to puzzle out what the hell he was supposed to do, next.

He settled for some more patting her on the back. That was always safe.

"That just depends what it is you think's gettin' messed," he mused. "Sounds like her version of Gaia's all twisted around, anyhow. Who knows? Maybe you fixed somethin', instead."

"Maybe," she said, her voice muffled against his jacket. "I want to change it. I ... I don't care what that means. For anyone. Do you think we can? Or should?"

Those were ... two different questions, and she couldn't be rational about this.

Edited 2010-06-09 01:24 (UTC)

They could, couldn't they? It was just a matter of saying, hey, watch out for this, don't hand that over, get more manpower, something. They could.

Should they?

"I don't know," Reno admitted, sighing again. This one was less put-upon. More sincere. Tired, even. "Those are questions I been askin' myself for a while, already. But... We do what we can do. That's the best we got, Turks or not, I think."

"She's one of us," Elena said. Not that he would need the reminder. Just that ... it made a difference. It always did.

She exhaled, messily, and pulled back from the embrace. "We have time. Right? It's not like ... we have to know now."

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Rookiehood 101, Tuesday, Period 4

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