fandomhigh | people suck except when they don't | thursday | period 2

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people suck

people suck except when they don't | thursday | period 2 | april 22

It was the last day of class and Loki was feeling appropriately melancholy. Okay, no he wasn't but he would, at least, miss teaching students about how much the human race can suck if you let it. Still, he thought he'd be seeing a few of them again so he wasn't too broken up.

"It's time for your final exam!" Loki said exuberantly, clapping his hands and looking smug. "I hope you all prepared because I spent all night typing it up and going over it. It's twenty essay questions, closed book, straight from the memory banks."

It was not.

"So, come up and pick up an exam," he said, gesturing to the thick stacks of paper beside him, "and get started."

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阿祖拉
Azula, Princess of the Fire Nation

Jak

Chuck Bartowski

Calvin

Joan Girardi

Makita

Karla

Jenny Sparks

Noah Puckerman

George Cooper

Claudia Donovan

Ellie Bartowski

Jonothon Starsmore

Dan Humphrey

Elena

Kurt Wagner

Not that there's much of one but take one last look at your notes, talk to each other, lament the lack of Loki in your lives next week!

Joan sort of stared at Loki. She didn't believe for a second that he had prepared an exam like that.

The exams are actually fifteen BLANK pages with the only question on the second to the last page. The question: Tell me how much people suck.
__

[Handwaving is always fine!]

True to form Azula filled all fifteen pages. She was a perfectionist and she didn't like people. Filling up fifteen pages was no trouble at all.

Jak spent most of the class staring at the empty page.

Between his questionable grasp of the Roman alphabetical system and his less than stellar grasp of 'being verbose', he was having a hard time.

Finally, he reached over and, very slowly, wrote down the words, a lot.

Then he sank back into his seat.

Chuck... liked people. In general.

But after several weeks in this class he could pull together a page or so about how theoretically there were reasons some people could suck, even if he preferred to think that most didn't.

Calvin ended up using both sides of the pages, along with the occasional diagram to explain just how much people in general (and some specific examples) sucked.

Joan was amused as she flipped through the blank pages to find the question.

She wrote a page and a half about how people sucked, focusing mostly on the Baker family for their lawsuit against her family and a certain nameless someone that she knew Loki would understand.

Makita quickly flipped through the pages, and then re-ordered them so the one with the question was on top.

So Loki would have to flip through ten pages before he found Makita's answer, which was simply;

:(

In the center of the page. On the back of the last page was a cheerful string of curses in Nokgorkan, speculating on his parentage, how often he'd been dropped on his head as a child, and what he did with porcupines in his spare time. Lovingly, of course.

Oh, Karla had plenty of things to say about Certain People and how they could be your blood-kin and still go murder your parents and take control of the Territory by implementing draconian measures that involved slavery and the breaking of females.

Unfortunately, she was pretty sure that Loki wouldn't want to read all that. In fact, it was good odds that he'd get bored part way through and either move on to something else or start writing notes in the margins or something.

So, instead, she wrote about a page about all the different ways people could suck and how to handle them.

Jenny wrote a long, profanity-filled diatribe on how much, exactly, people sucked, giving various examples from throughout her extraordinarily long life.

George's answer was pithy if not in depth.

Why? You already know or ye wouldn't be teaching the class.

Claudia . . . might actually need more paper. You hopped around in the state care system for long enough and you collected lots of reasons why people sucked.

Ellie was able to get at least two pages written, mostly using the examples discussed in class. There was a rather large section of her answer that focused on parental abandonment.

... Fifteen pages? Fifteen? Really?

When Jono started at it, he decided that he really ought to take this exam and use these pages double-sided.

It was somewhere around page four that he'd managed to rant about humanity in general and a whole host of his problems enough that he worked himself into a mood, stopped writing abruptly, stabbed the remaining sheets a few times with his pen, and then seriously contemplated lighting the last eleven pages on fire.

Well. They were slightly singed around the edges by the time he handed in his exam, at least.

Elena ranted for several pages about silver-haired pretty-boys. Ones with mommy issues that liked to set fire to villages and carve up civilians to pass the time of day. And how they wouldn't fucking stay dead no matter how many times you killed them; they just came back as more silver-haired pretty boys. Different ones, that had crazy bloodlust and mommy issues and weren't supposed to fucking exist and liked playing games like "so, what color is your spleen? Hey, neat!"

Her hand was cramping, and there was ink smudged along the side of it, but damn, it was cathartic to bitch.

Kurt's response?

Not as much as you think they do.

Followed by a HUGE smiley face.

Who have been marvelous!

Of course Makita had been marvelous. She was going to sit here and enjoy her last day of fake-power, thank you.

Jono would probably blame any and all marvellousness on the fact that he was ~~from Marvel~~ already well aware as to just how much people really did suck.

He figured that about explained it, anyhow.

Who's around if you need him!

Thank you guys for being an absolute blast to teach for and for putting up with Loki's babbling! Thank you to the TA's for taking that task on and Loki hopes to see you all during his summer course!

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people suck except when they don't | thursday | period 2 | april 22

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