Time for School

[prof-hellboy.livejournal.com]

AWRIGHT, LISTEN UP!

Now that I've got yer attention, the name's Hellboy. I been workin' for the better part'a fifty years fer the Bureau of Paranormal Research and Defense, and I am now a teacher here at Fandom High. I'm here because there's a bunch'a ya who know what's out there in the shadows of th' world, some of ya who ARE what's out there in the shadows of th' world, and some who got the powers or abilities to deal with what's out there.

So we're gonna have us a class. Paranormal Studies 101. Every student who signs up is taking the 101 class. There is no discussion of that. I don't care how much experience ya got, you take 201 when I say ya do.

Understand, if ya got paranormal powers or abilities, yer not gonna be forced to take the class. But I am gonna have my eye on you *cracks the knuckles of the enormous stone gauntlet covering his right hand for emphasis*. And havin' powers or abilities ain't a prerequisite fer takin the class. All are welcome. There ain't no textbooks, and all grading will be based on participation- in-class discussion, theory-in-practice, and combat field training.

The classroom is in the basement of the main school building at the very back. And that door wasn't there yesterday, in case anybody's gonna get smart and contradict me. It's a portal that's gonna lead ya to a safe area. It's been enchanted to make sure nobody can get seriously hurt or killed durin' class. My class is also chronofluid, although generally we'll be meetin' every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. First class will be Monday. I know ya all got a busy week startin' things here, so you can rest easy until then. Sign up for the class will be ongoing until Sunday night, by which time I hope the headache this is gonna give me goes away.

There are things I ain't gonna tolerate in class: nazis, cyborg nazi gorillas, elder chaos gods, elder gods from the dark beyond space, killing Catholic priests, sacrificing humans, sacrificing animals, cheating, using magic or scientific performance enhancers and cannibalism. Professor Jerusalem is the exception to that last one, and if ya piss me off you will be fed to him as a midnight snack.

Signup sheet's posted. Make sure I can read yer name.

*Lights up a cigar and walks away.*

Comments

[river-dancing.livejournal.com]

I'm River. *shakes your hand formally* I'm still getting set up over in the dorms. Any suggestions?

[swerval_zero]

*rattles off* Stay out of the third floor bathroom, the sixth floor is a dimensional warp or summat, and the first floor common room should still be safe, but it's a total wreck. Look out for little brightly colored gremlin things, don' let the little grinders bite you. Look out for squallin' tentacles in the pipes.

I'm on th' second floor, actually, s'probably your best bet. I think Ed had some problems with our boys' bathroom the other day, but the girls' seems swerval.

[river-dancing.livejournal.com]

Hmmm. I was thinking of someplace up high, but perhaps the second floor is far enough away from Earth-that-Was to count.

Who else is rooming there? And where are these housing boards people keep mentioning to me?

[swerval_zero]

Oh, well if you want t' be up high, I think one of the attics is still available. That's if you don't mind roommates, of course.

The housing board's over here.

[river-dancing.livejournal.com]

River looks down at the second floor, then up at the dusty attics with their cobwebs, calculates vectors and equations, factors in the potential for zazz, and decides.

Hopefully it won't be too noisy down there.

She clomps down the stairs towards the second floor in her combat boots, with a duffel bag over one shoulder and a rollabout suitcase trailing behind.