fandomhigh | Love & Romance, Hollywood Style [Period 4, Class 5]

Drake was playing some somewhat creepy music when the students arrived for class. "Today we're going to take a trip to the dark side," he said. "No, don't go running for the nearest witch with a vanquish potion, I'm talking about obsessive love. I've got two examples for you today."

A snap of his fingers, and the projector started rolling. "In ~~meta for~~ Sleeping with the Enemy," Drake began, "Laura is married to an abusive, controlling, possessive husband. So she fakes her own death and runs away to start a new life. Of course, psycho hubby hunts her down. He beats up her new boyfriend and tells Laura that he loves her, he can't live without her, and he won't let her live without him. But Laura's built up a spine in the meantime, and she grabs a gun and blows the psycho away.

"Now, in Fatal Attraction," Drake continued, "the sexes get reversed. Dan cheats on his wife with Alex while his wife and daughter are out of town. When wifey comes back, Dan cuts things off. But Alex doesn't want to let go. She makes a suicide attempt and then starts stalking Dan and spying on his family. She even boils the pet bunny. Eventually she decides to kill Beth, Dan's wife, seeing her as the obstacle between her and Dan's love. Dan attempts to drown her and then Beth blows her away."

Drake stopped the clips and turned his attention back to the class. "Alex claimed to love Dan, and Laura's husband said he loved her. Was that really love? What would you do if you were caught up in those circumstances? And why do teenage girls sometimes think ~~sparkly~~ controlling, suffocating ~~engine-stealing~~ boys are so dreamy?"

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Oh Lord, Warren, give him an inch and he'll ... complain that it wasn't ten. Wait, this analogy was going somewhere besides dick jokes. "A big against the wall is better."

Okay, no, it wasn't.

Stop smirking like that, Warren. You'll give the boy ideas.

... Because he totally needed Warren to give him ideas, right?

"Okay then, a big, assertive, consensual fondling against the wall." The very important distinction had to be made, here. "If that's the sort of 'against the wall' that you happen to prefer."

Class, Emmett. Class. As in show some, and as in you're in one.

"That is exactly the sort of against the wall I happen to prefer. I would, however, totally let you pick which wall."

No. He didn't need Warren to give him ideas.

Honestly, Warren, how did you not see that coming?

"Well, that's very generous of you," he replied, managing to keep some semblance of composure here in the middle of the classroom while his brain caught up with the conversation again. "It certainly keeps your options wide open."

Interesting choice of words, Worthington.

"Wide open," Emmett repeated, half agreeing, half repeating the phrasing. "It's like you know me."

"I like to think that I'm a fairly good judge of character," Warren replied.

Not quite oblivious, not even vaguely oblivious. But possibly trying like hell to act as though he was.

Mostly failing at it, too.

"My character is impeccable," Emmett said with his hand splayed over his heart. "The rest of me is sadly vulnerable to any pecs that pass by, but my character, no."

Good luck with that, Warren.

Yep. Warren was pretty much destined for failure, at that one.

"So I gathered," he noted, now looking vaguely amused. He'd facepalm at himself later, maybe. "You strike me as the sort of guy who knows what he likes."

And the sort who didn't seem terribly worried if everyone else knew what he liked, too.

[Sorry for my Delete!Edit fail, back there! Proofreading is my friend.]

Emmett nodded cheerfully. "Usually in the biblical sense."

[Sorry about the lemonade!]

[Okay yeah, no I'm not.]

Warren ~~NEEDED AN ADULT~~ quirked the faintest of grins at that, and then buried his hands in his pockets.

"I think here is where I'm supposed to make some sort of witty reference to the Tower of Babylon, or something of the sort," he noted. "But I'm completely at a loss."

For reasons which he couldn't for the life of him figure out. Really.

"So do me a favor and just pretend that I said something completely mind-blowing, please."

[ELAINE IS A TATTLER. TATTLER. Also IT BURNED.]

"Are you sure you wanna give me that much leeway with what you might've said?" Emmett could be a kind person, sometimes. "'Cause I'm thinking something about Gabriel's horn." Or someone's.

Pardon Warren for just one moment. He needed to take a pause to demonstrate his best goldfish impression, what with his mouth opening... and then shutting again. And then opening once more for good measure.

Was that a blush?

"Maybe it would be a good idea to not get too creative," he managed, at last.

"So, witty but suitable for ages twelve and up."

"Think you can manage it?"

"No, but if I tell you I can and just don't say it out loud, you'll never know." He was, in fact, aware of the flaw in this plan, but.

Warren was going to have to settle for that.

"And then everybody's happy, hm?"

Yep. This was Warren, totally settling for that.

"As happy as they'll let us get in the middle of a classroom, anyway!"

Love & Romance, Hollywood Style [Period 4, Class 5]

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