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fandomhigh2010-02-03 12:06 am
siriuslyscarred.livejournal.com) wrote in fandomhigh2010-02-03 12:06 am
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DADA For Muggles [Wednesday, February 3]
Today, the classroom had a bit of an artificial warmth to it. Remus had magically ensured as much, as the windows were open. And why was that? Because today's guests were, well, aromatic.
"Welcome to our zombie lesson!" Sirius said.
"In our world," Remus said, ever the educator even in the face of...zombies, "they are called Inferi. They're dormant guards for dark wizards, and will work in groups to smother or drown an intruder. Here, from what I can tell, zombies are human victims of the bite of another zombie. And since zombies feed on human flesh, it creates a cycle of constant biting and infecting."
"And sometimes they play music down at the local pub," Sirius said, looking a little confused by that. "And in films, they shuffle faster than living people at a dead sprint. How that works is a mystery for the ages. The lesson to glean from this, children," he said, pointing a finger at the Inferi, "is that the dead should stay dead. This is no way to come back." He clapped his hands together. "Today we offer you two options for interaction: taping back our poor friends' parts onto themselves, or constructing a breathing mask so that the smell doesn't knock you out."
"Or both," Remus added. "You may need it."
"Welcome to our zombie lesson!" Sirius said.
"In our world," Remus said, ever the educator even in the face of...zombies, "they are called Inferi. They're dormant guards for dark wizards, and will work in groups to smother or drown an intruder. Here, from what I can tell, zombies are human victims of the bite of another zombie. And since zombies feed on human flesh, it creates a cycle of constant biting and infecting."
"And sometimes they play music down at the local pub," Sirius said, looking a little confused by that. "And in films, they shuffle faster than living people at a dead sprint. How that works is a mystery for the ages. The lesson to glean from this, children," he said, pointing a finger at the Inferi, "is that the dead should stay dead. This is no way to come back." He clapped his hands together. "Today we offer you two options for interaction: taping back our poor friends' parts onto themselves, or constructing a breathing mask so that the smell doesn't knock you out."
"Or both," Remus added. "You may need it."