Win Friends | Period 4 | Class 14

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

Today, the final class was meeting back in the computer lab as they had been handwavily instructed. "Last week you created an Awesome résumé highlighting the best parts of you. Let's turn those in and get this final going!" Barney announced rapidly, taking his place at the front of the room and starting up his PowerPoint presentation. Oh yes, visual aids were necessary this week.

"Once you've won friends, and we're gonna just go ahead and assume you all have regardless of blueness or how terrifying you look, sometimes keeping them means being the one to break some bad news. I know, it doesn't seem like something you should have to worry yourself with, and it's true that news should just be blurted out, ripped off like a sticky band-aid, or screamed from the rooftops. Of course, in all those situations, you - the bearer of said news - are left to deal with the other person's reaction." This was obviously the distasteful part for Barney as he eyerolled before continuing.

"Wouldn't it be great if we could just Awesomely distract people from caring about whatever trauma we'd just inflicted upon them?" He clicked the remote and showed the words I banged your mom on the screen. "Rough news for the BFF to take, am I right? But oh, look!" The screen shimmered to include a lovely photo of girls kissing above the same block print phrase. "Two lesbians making out! Everything's instantly better, right?" Of course it was.

"Let's see another example." The words Grandma's dead popped up on the screen next. "Woe, that'd be a real tearjerker for my friend Marshall!" Barney sniffed dramatically. "At least until..." A picture of two adorable golden retriever puppies playing in a wagon and gnawing on a pumpkin flashed up above the words. "Let's cue the awws from the saps in the audience. Oh yes, Eriksen would join you, smiling through his giant, girlish tears. Let's pause for the mental image." Which Barney did, counting to five in his head.

"So! What you're doing today is taking your assigned bad news and searching the internet for something to make it instantly better! Naturally, that means different things to different people, like in the case of Marshall versus a real man, so keep your recipient in mind while you make your selection. Oh, and if any of you don't know what a computer is, well, that was a question for last week."

Chuck Bartowski - I have herpes.
Cyd Sherman - That's no Santa suit.
Didi - You're the father.
Eleanor Robinson - The island hates you. Specifically.
Eric Matthews - Your baby is ugly.
Illyria - I blew your 401K on drugs and whores.
Jack Burton - The condom broke.
Katina Choovanski - You're bad in bed.
Liir Thropp - Sometimes I pay for sex.
Mirax Terrik - The meteor cannot be stopped.
Robin - There is no Santa Claus.
Tybalt Capulet - I'm a registered sex offender.

Comments

Sign In | Class 14

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

Name, favorite icon, describe your résumé of Awesome!

Lecture | Class 14

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

TGIF - Thank goodness it's finals!

Final Activity | Class 14

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

Complain to your classmates, search for pictures to go with your bit of news that was handwavily passed to you on a slip of paper.

Link us up if you found a picture (label links NSFW if they aren't) along with the words and who it'd be sent off to! Barney has no reason for this, really.

Dean Awesome | Class 14

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

Barney shall wave you goodbye and hit the bar, oh yes.

OOC | Class 14

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

Thanks for a great few weeks letting me be your sub!

Re: OOC | Class 14

[thatsamilkshake]

*eyes Katchoo nervously*

Re: Sign In | Class 14

[living_endless]

Didi. Her resume of awesome was a video of her bopping around in her room in her Homecoming dress to a Hanson song. At the end, she smirked into the camera and said, "...by the way, I'm Death."

She might have found this artsy, but it was more likely she just hadn't taken the assignment terribly seriously.

Re: Final Activity | Class 14

[living_endless]

To: Barney Stinson
Congratulations, you're the father!

Re: OOC | Class 14

[bitchy_smurf]

DED OF DIDI.

Re: Sign In | Class 14

[bitchy_smurf]

Illyria. Her resume was ... actually unedited footage from a security camera. She felt it spoke for itself.

Re: Final Activity | Class 14

[bitchy_smurf]

Illyria knew what a computer was. (Also whores and drugs.) She didn't know what a 401K was. Given the choice between admitting that, poking the memories in the back of her head, or looking it up on the electric box that was almost a tentacle of something sentient, she went with the box, since she needed it to find the picture anyway.

...Ah.

To: Spike

I blew your 401K on drugs and whores. Luckily, you are immortal, and I took pictures of the whores for you.

That voice in the back of her head sighed at her, so she rolled her eyes and added,

Merry Christmas, Illyria

[Vaguely NSFW. I mean, it's whores. And Dolly Parton's boobs.]

Re: OOC | Class 14

[living_endless]

Hee, thanks!

I love Illyria ending her message with holiday wishes.

Re: Sign In | Class 14

[thismaskiwear.livejournal.com]

Katina Choovanski, whose resumé of awesome bore an odd resemblance to a Skins video diary for the initial two seconds of writing this ping until it careened off on a tangent consisted of five minutes of sideways footage (as if the camera had been carelessly tossed onto the dresser on its side) of her slouching around her room with a cigarette in her mouth, throwing splashes of paint onto a canvas and using her fingers to trace it into lines and shapes, then finally flipping off the camera with a colorfully dripping, paint-covered hand.

Last-minute assignments for the win.

Re: OOC | Class 14

[thismaskiwear.livejournal.com]

BAHAHAHAHAHA ILLYRIA. <3 <3 <3

Re: Sign In | Class 14

[feline-royalty.livejournal.com]

Tybalt Capulet, whose resume was... Well. Tybalt Capulet. With his gun. And a closeup on those sexy, sexy boots of his.

Re: Sign In | Class 14

[robinthefrog.livejournal.com]

Robin's resume, was actually a demo reel, featuring his performances on the Muppet Show, and the Fairy Tale adaptation that had given him his start.

Re: Final Activity | Class 14

[robinthefrog.livejournal.com]

Well, it wasn't true, but...

Dear Easter Bunny,

There isn't a Santa Clause. (http://nationaljoke.com/home/images/2005/06/santa_claus_is_coming.jpg)

Re: Sign In | Class 14

[knowsnokungfu.livejournal.com]

Chuck Bartowski, whose video resume involved rather more edited in parts than it did any footage of him. Let it never be said he didn't work to his strengths.

Re: Sign In | Class 14

[inthereflexes.livejournal.com]

Jack Burton. His resume was well-shot about him being the best delivery, but his homemade sign for Burton International Transit & Holdings Corporation needed some work.