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fandomhigh2009-12-08 08:02 am
captaininthree.livejournal.com) wrote in fandomhigh2009-12-08 08:02 am
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Sex Thru The Ages, 12/8, Period 3
Algren was standing at the front of the class today, eyeing Jim out of the corner of his eye, warily. They were tantalizingly close to the end of the semester, now. And it seemed as though they were getting on into material that had some sort of educational merit, and he couldn't for the life of him figure out if this was all too good to be true, or if he was smiling and nodding and going on with teaching what he could only suppose had to be fact.
Somebody hadn't gotten over the giant ear thing from last class, no.
"Today," he said, looking to the students, "we're going to continue on the topic that we had begun last week, discussing the sexual customs of other, nonhuman races." Races? Species? Algren had no clue, here. "We've arranged for this lesson to come from far more reliable sources than we-" Jim, "-could possibly provide simply from textbooks and notes."
Jim was perfectly knowledgeable! But when you had students who knew more...
You couldn't pass that up.
"So please be polite and courteous to your classmates and don't speak until they've finished with their speechs, alright?"
Somebody hadn't gotten over the giant ear thing from last class, no.
"Today," he said, looking to the students, "we're going to continue on the topic that we had begun last week, discussing the sexual customs of other, nonhuman races." Races? Species? Algren had no clue, here. "We've arranged for this lesson to come from far more reliable sources than we-" Jim, "-could possibly provide simply from textbooks and notes."
Jim was perfectly knowledgeable! But when you had students who knew more...
You couldn't pass that up.
"So please be polite and courteous to your classmates and don't speak until they've finished with their speechs, alright?"
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Listen to Spock
Re: Listen to Spock
He took a deep breath. "The marriage ceremony is known as koon-ut-kal-if-fee, which translates into Standard as, roughly, marriage or challenge. In this ceremony, either the pair will be married, or the female may break the betrothal by issuing a challenge, in which case her betrothed must fight to the death against her champion. This ceremony is partly a holdover from Vulcan's more warlike past and partly predicated by Vulcan biology, as breaking a betrothal may prove lethal to a Vulcan male." No, he wasn't going to explain why. The first rule of pon farr was that you did not talk about pon farr.
"After marriage, Vulcans are traditionally monogamous, as it would be highly illogical to call the paternity of children produced of the union into question. Divorce, which splits the communal assets and childrearing responsibilities, is likewise considered illogical except in very specific circumstances. Vulcans who have been widowed generally will remarry within seven years, though as adults, they are trusted to make logical decisions on their own and may select their own spouse." Never mind that many thought his father had been highly illogical in his choice of second wife. They were clearly wrong.
Look at that, he'd managed to get through an entire lecture on the sexual practices of his people without mentioning sex!
"Are there any questions?"
Re: Listen to Spock
Sorry, Spock, but Karla can't read narration and had no idea the pon farr was off limits.
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Her nod to the delicacy of the topic was NOT bitching about how unfair it was to the female of the party.
Listen to Worf
Re: Listen to Worf
Worf stood stiffly at the head of the class, glaring at anyone who might be snickering at him.
"Klingon mating rituals date back to the creation of the Klingon race," he began, "In which the Klingon male and female are created and joing together and rise up against the Gods who created them and lay them to waste. As such most Klingons mate for life and it is not uncommon for a couple to take commitment oaths after only one... encounter."
He shifted slightly, looking almost... sentimental. "Klingon mating rituals are very involved and typically not a one night affair. It is not uncommon for a man to bring the leg of an animal that he has freshly killed to the first courtship dinner. The leg is then used to sweep aside evertyhing on the table while the male declares his wishes to provide food and more for the female. In response a Klingon female will typically bite the cheek of her choice of mate allowing her to taste hie blod and get his scent."
And Worf now looks to be oblivious to the class itself as he continues on with the conversation. "Then there is roaring. From the female, not the male. The male will then read love poetry as the female screams at him and hurls furniture at his head."
Catching himself getting carried away, Worf regained his serious composure. "There is generally a lot of ducking at this stage. When the act is completed it can be rather... violent compared to what humans experience. Broken bones are a common occurence. In fact it is considered good luck to break a clavicle when a pair consumate their marriage. There are several ways one may dedicate their life to another Klingon. One may make a commitment oath to one another by merely reciting the proper words which are binding in our culture and society. When two marry they have the option of either using the formal ceremony which re-enacts the creation myth or a simple oath of marriage which requires no officant or witnesses."
Worf then looked at the class, almost daring them to ask questions. "Those are the essentials of a Klingon mating ritual. Questions?"
Talk to the Teachers
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Zen, but still waiting for the other shoe to drop, as you do.
OOC