Humorous History: Friday, Period 1, Class 5

[makesfaces.livejournal.com]

"Before we get started this week," Jim said when everyone who was going to show up had shown up, "I'd just like to remind everyone that families will be here sooner than you think and that you only have a few hours to tell me what crazy things about the island I should keep from mentioning to your parents in case they ask. I'm more than happy to plead complete ignorance."

"And with that out of the way, let's talk about a place called Sark. It's a two-square mile island in the English Channel with about six hundred people living on it. They also have a windmill without any sails on it. And they kept a feudalist system until last year. And that's most of what's notable about Sark except for the story of the greatest invasion in world history."

"One night in August 1990 a man named André Gardes - who was, I swear, an 'unemployed French nuclear physicist' - came to Sark with a semi-automatic gun and signs saying that he was going to take over the island the next day at noon. The next morning he sat on a bench, patiently waiting for twelve o'clock, when a volunteer constable came by, saw him loading a new clip into his gun, told him - and this is supposedly a direct quote - 'That's a nice gun you've got there,' and arrested him."

"And that's the story of the invasion of Sark. A deranged but extremely punctual man who wanted to take over an island of 600 people with a single gun got stopped by a constable who just happened to be in the right place at the right time. And in this case, that means 'in the park before noon.'"

"There are a few obvious questions. What exactly was Gardes thinking? How does a guy go from nuclear science to this? And if you were going to take a shot at taking over a small island with a bad plan that had no chance of success, how would you do it? The crazier the plan, the better. Just remember, you have to take it over by yourself."

Comments

Sign In [Week 5]

[makesfaces.livejournal.com]

Like you're part of a coup!

Re: Sign In [Week 5]

[guardianborn.livejournal.com]

Rose Hathaway

Re: Sign In [Week 5]

[decoder-rings.livejournal.com]

Hannibal King

Re: Sign In [Week 5]

[life_inshadow]

Tara Maclay

Re: Sign In [Week 5]

[pastmewrong.livejournal.com]

Effy Stonem

Re: Sign In [Week 5]

[weldedtomyspine]

Jaime Reyes

Re: Sign In [Week 5]

[iknowstuff.livejournal.com]

Layla Miller

Re: Sign In [Week 5]

[lovemykilt]

Priestly

Re: Sign In [Week 5]

[officetightass]

Angela Martin

Re: Sign In [Week 5]

[longislandiceme]

Bobby Drake

Re: Sign In [Week 5]

[italksmack.livejournal.com]

Kelly Kapoor

Re: Sign In [Week 5]

[not-jaded-yet.livejournal.com]

Jennifer Walters

Re: Sign In [Week 5]

[fabulous-secret.livejournal.com]

Adora

Take Notes [Week 5]

[makesfaces.livejournal.com]

Best. Invasion. Ever. Except for how it was a total failure.

Re: Take Notes [Week 5]

[decoder-rings.livejournal.com]

Hannibal...stopped taking notes as soon as he heard this guy got arrested like a complete idiot. He made a note to himself to never tell anyone what time he was going to invade if he ever decided to invade an island.

Discussion [Week 5]

[makesfaces.livejournal.com]

Pure speculation: What would bring a French nuclear physicist like Gardes to invade a tiny Channel Island all by himself?

And more importantly, if you had the chance to stage a coup on a tiny island all by yourself, what crazy plan with no real chance of success would you use?

Re: Discussion [Week 5]

[decoder-rings.livejournal.com]

"Maybe he thought all that radioactivity was going to make him some kind of superhero?" Hannibal suggested. Hey, worked in comics, didn't it? "Besides, the real way to invade a small island is to construct a giant two mile net and drop it on the town. Easy."

Hey, Professor Halpert had said crazy plans, after all.

Re: Discussion [Week 5]

[makesfaces.livejournal.com]

"How would you drop the net all by yourself?" Jim wondered.

Re: Discussion [Week 5]

[decoder-rings.livejournal.com]

"Charter a plane and hire some people to skydive into town while holding it steady," he said after a moment's thought.

Re: Discussion [Week 5]

[makesfaces.livejournal.com]

"Sorry, that's using other people. You're going to need something crazier than that to do it yourself," Jim said.

Re: Discussion [Week 5]

[decoder-rings.livejournal.com]

"Hire robots," he said, going crazier just for Professor Halpert.

Re: Discussion [Week 5]

[makesfaces.livejournal.com]

"That would fail spectacularly," Jim said. "Good job."

Re: Discussion [Week 5]

[weldedtomyspine]

"Too much exposure to nuclear radiation makes people crazy," Jaime made up explained. "So that's probably what happened here."

"So, obviously, if you want to take over a an island that small you've got to start with a supertanker."

Obviously.

Re: Discussion [Week 5]

[makesfaces.livejournal.com]

"Like a ship that carries oil?" Jim asked. "What's the next step after getting one of those?"

Re: Discussion [Week 5]

[weldedtomyspine]

"Yeah, that kind. And the second step is that you fill it halfway up with butterscotch pudding..."

Jaime had no idea where he was going with this.

Re: Discussion [Week 5]

[iknowstuff.livejournal.com]

"I'd say that Gardes was probably mentally unstable," Layla said thoughtfully. "And if I were going to take over a town it would be through clever manipulation."

Re: Discussion [Week 5]

[makesfaces.livejournal.com]

"So you'd just enter local politics?" Jim asked. It was kind of a cheap joke, but he was okay with going there.

Re: Discussion [Week 5]

[iknowstuff.livejournal.com]

"Or eliminate the local government in a series of strange coincidences," Layla said with a grin.

Re: Discussion [Week 5]

[lovemykilt]

"I'd put up billboards that say 'Priestly rules the island' or something. The citizens can figure it out from there."

Re: Discussion [Week 5]

[makesfaces.livejournal.com]

"Tricking them without trying too hard," Jim mused. "I like it. I'd probably go with the same kind of thing."

Re: Discussion [Week 5]

[officetightass]

"It's because even nuclear physicists can be idiots," Angela decided. What? It made sense.

Re: Discussion [Week 5]

[makesfaces.livejournal.com]

"So you think somebody would try to invade an island with a weapon just because he was dumb?" Jim asked. "Doesn't that seem like a lot of effort for just being an idiot?"

Re: Discussion [Week 5]

[officetightass]

"I said he was an idiot, not dumb," she corrected. "Invading an island with a weapon could make sense to an idiot. I assume."

Re: Discussion [Week 5]

[not-jaded-yet.livejournal.com]

"I think I might... actually be able to take over a tiny island by myself," Jennifer said. "Which scares me."

Re: Discussion [Week 5]

[makesfaces.livejournal.com]

"How would you try it in a less scary way that won't succeed?" Jim asked, trying to direct the conversation towards silliness.

Re: Discussion [Week 5]

[not-jaded-yet.livejournal.com]

"Drop bears," Jennifer decided. "That would be my plan of attack."

TA [Week 5]

[makesfaces.livejournal.com]

The one who would probably gossip the island into submission.

Re: TA [Week 5]

[italksmack.livejournal.com]

Omigod Kelly was like totes glad she could be in class today 'cause like last week she was a parakeet and parakeets totally didn't go to class you know?

Talk to Jim [Week 5]

[makesfaces.livejournal.com]

Let him know what he shouldn't tell your parents.

OOC [Week 5]

[makesfaces.livejournal.com]

For more information on Sark, listen to The Bugle (http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/us_and_americas/us_elections/the_bugle/): Audio Newspaper for a Visual World. Episode 13.

I will take any opportunity to pimp The Bugle. It causes laughter.