Speech Comm

[prof-cregg.livejournal.com]

Today she is professional, but there is a real air of annoyance. It won't take much to really make her mad, so watch it.

301--Family Unit Continues

OK, gang, here's the deal. Today we're talking about family again, both blood and created. I want to talk about both functional and dysfunctional.

[She purses her lips together and leans forward on her lectern]

How do we communicate our feelings? Not love, not nurture, not caring...How do we as people access and communicate the real feelings of family? Possesivness? Defense? A huge part of family is feelings of ownership and belonging. How do we communicate this, and what happens when it's interrupted?

Go. Talk to me.

Comments

[auroryborealis.livejournal.com]

Rory almost smiles at the topic as she lays a note on Professor Cregg's desk.

Please excuse my absence Friday, as I was out of town.

"I agree with Elizabeth - a lot of times, we demonstrate through actions. If we feel a sense of possessiveness towards someone, and then we're betrayed, an aggressive action may take place."

[prof-cregg.livejournal.com]

Like what Rory? Is aggression really necessary?

[auroryborealis.livejournal.com]

"No," Rory replies immediately. "But if someone you're close to, someone you care about - especially if there aren't many people that you trust or allow yourself to become close to - betrays you or is threatened, the basic instinctual response is to communicate your sense of anger and betrayal through action."

Rory sighs, and runs a hand through her hair.

Why does this class always line up perfectly with my life?

[prof-cregg.livejournal.com]

Precisely, Rory. And how does one determine the appropriate action? Let me remind you of reciprocity...[writes RECIPROCITY in big letters across the board]

[auroryborealis.livejournal.com]

"Well," Rory replies thoughtfully, "I think that the appropriateness of the action is subjective. For instance," she adds, swallowing and hoping no one's really listening to her, "if someone I loved betrayed me, I would confront them personally and let them know how I had been hurt. But other people might, instead, choose to violently take out their aggressions on someone else. And both of those responses could be construed as appropriate given the personalities in question."

[prof-cregg.livejournal.com]

And in a family, where there is a certain level of intimacy, of familiarity and acceptance, how would these different actions be accepted...even condoned, perhaps?

[auroryborealis.livejournal.com]

"Family is...well, family's really the closest relationship any group of people can have, I suppose. So therefore, the hurt goes deeper, and the response is expected to be greater."

[prof-cregg.livejournal.com]

And with that you've reached the heart of the matter. Or should I say the matter of the heart. When we get into reciprocity on an emotional level we are dealing with an entirely different beast than that of the social-conditioned action-for-action that the book talks about. Very good, Rory.

Who else?

[anextimeagent.livejournal.com]

Well... you're talking about the downside of families as well as the upside. They'll defend you against anything -- but they also know you well enough to hurt you. It isn't just happy happy joy joy all the time. *wry grin* Or so I guess. I'm kind of new at this family thing.

[prof-cregg.livejournal.com]

Good, Jack. Intamacy can make one open to pain as well as affection. How do you see that in relation to emotional possesion of another person?

[anextimeagent.livejournal.com]

Um... I'm going to have to echo Liz. Huh?

[prof-cregg.livejournal.com]

[Sighs] How does it make you feel to belong to someone, emotionally? How do you feel when someone belongs to you, emotionally?

And how does that relate to a defensive stance?

[anextimeagent.livejournal.com]

I think that's hard to answer, because it depends on what is specifically going on at the moment. You could say that the relationship is something that is acted upon, not in and of itself an active thing. When I feel hurt, it's... difficult to belong to someone. When I feel taken care of, it's wonderful. It changes.

[prof-cregg.livejournal.com]

So it's a condition in flux and dependent on time and situation?

[anextimeagent.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I think so. No, no, I take that back. *I'm* in flux. Which isn't to say that a familial type relationship can't change, but I bounce back and forth more, and how I'm feeling in the moment affects the relationship.

[prof-cregg.livejournal.com]

[Smiles] Welcome to growing up, Chip. Gift with purchase, right?

[anextimeagent.livejournal.com]

*chuckles* I'm still bucking for the full refund.