fandomhigh | Humorous History: Friday, Period 1, Class 1

When the bell rang, Jim checked out the door quickly to make sure that there was nobody else hurrying to class. Satisfied that he had everyone, he closed the door and walked back towards his desk.

"Hi," he told the class, giving them a friendly smile. "If you're here, hopefully you've signed up for Humorous History. If not, go ahead and just take notes anyway. I promise I won't tell anyone."

"For the next few months, we're going to be looking at historical events and figures that make me laugh. Don't get me wrong. When we talk about Andrew Jackson, we're going to have a very serious discussion about him. But our serious discussion isn't going to focus on the fact that he was a powerful politician who did a bunch of historically significant things. Our discussion is going to be about how he shot a guy in the crotch one time. On purpose. For the record, the Jackson class is probably going to be the only time I talk about crotches in this class except for right now. I'm usually more highbrow than that."

"Oh, and we're also going to have a few movie days because," Jim paused for a moment and shot a glance at the camera. It had been here the whole time. It was pretty clear that he just wasn't going to reference it at all. "... well, I have a Netflix account and I might be able to write it off on my taxes now."

"But we'll get to stuff like that next week. For today, let's just go with introductions. I know, you've probably done this fifteen times by now, but on the plus side you only need to do it with me once. So let's hear it. Name, class, and something humorous from your own personal history. But none of this 'Fandom weirdness' stuff. No turning into animals, no meeting a different version of somebody you know. That's way too easy for you and it's still way too weird for me."

[OOC: ~~Still up for a bit before sleeeeep. And then~~ woooooork.]

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"I, like, totally had a crush on you about two years ago," Turtle explained, with a heavy sigh because she couldn't believe she was going through this again, "which was probably a lot longer than that for you, because here you are, back, older, and teaching, which is just weird. And please don't dock my grade for when I kind of ditched you for Jeff. I couldn't have seen that one coming a mile away, I swear. But that was probably forever ago for you, even if it was only two years for me, so water under the bridge, right?"

"Um." Jim gave a slightly worried look at the camera. Right now he was so very glad that he had that confusing conversation with Barney during the picnic. "This is going to be awkward. T.R.? I think you had a crush on a different me. I never went to school here."

"You can just call me Turtle," she offered. "The T.R. is mostly just professional. And really? Never ever?"

"Sorry," Jim said, giving an apologetic look. "I hadn't even heard of Fandom until I applied for the job."

"Oh, no!" Turtle insisted. "That's great, actually! I mean, now I don't have to sit in class thinking that you might be thinking about that one time I rejected you. I mean, I was really young back then, and it wasn't the nicest move, but you understand how that goes, right? I mean, it'll still be weird because your still a Jim, even if not the same Jim, and, I mean, Tyler is still the same Tyler, and it's not as weird anymore, although still just a little bit. Still, I do feel kind of bad about that whole, 'oh, guess what, I can't go on that date with you because I have a boyfriend now' thing. I almost feel like I should make it up to you somehow. I mean, you're not the same Jim, but you're still a Jim."

Pause.

"You know?"

"Honestly, I think you lost me about three 'Jim's ago," Jim said. "But I can pretend that I know. That's not a problem."

"There's gotta be something I can do, though," Turtle said, frowning thoughtfully, but only for a moment. Her eyes then lit up with a bright idea.

"I got it! You still need TAs? I'll be your TA. And I'll be a good one, too, faithful and hardworking, to help make up for an karmic discrepancies I might have earned through other Jims."

"Who am I to argue with someone who wants to fix their karma?" Jim said. "One condition, though. You have to stop calling me 'Jim.' That's a little weird for me."

Turtle's face scrunched a little. "Oh, man. I'll bet you five bucks that me calling you 'Mr. Halpert' is at least ten percent weirder for me than it is for you to hear someone call you Jim."

"Oh, I'm sure it is. But I'm the teacher, so I get to make the rules," Jim said, smiling the smile of a guy with the trump card.

Turtle might have looked more petulant, but she reminded herself that not only did he have the teacher trump card, but there was also that karma thing.

"Okay, fine," she sighed. "Mr. Halpert."

So. Weird.

"You'll get used to it eventually," Jim said. "I'm glad to have you on board, Turtle."

Turtle gave a salute. "Good to be on board, Ji-- Mr. Halpert. Sir."

Maybe she'd just stick with sir. Sir wasn't as weird.

Humorous History: Friday, Period 1, Class 1

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