fandomhigh | Destiny & Free Will, Week V [Monday, Period 4]

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Destiny & Free Will, Week V [Monday, Period 4]

As the students came in today, they'd probably all be pleased to notice the lack of desks. Instead, there were huge piles of pillows and blankets heaped around, and the television set up in front of the room. Ghanima was showing affection in the best way she knew how, with pastries from JGoB and carafes of coffee and juice from the Perk.

"We'll delay the discussion of the 'omnis' until next week," she said cheerfully, once everyone had picked a spot. "Today, we're watching a movie that involves destiny."

[ocd up!]

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There was still the slightest of flinches at being touched, but Raven tightly grasped Karla's hand with her own. "For the first time, I truly felt that I was my father's daughter," she admitted softly. "The vampire showed me such pleasure and pain and made them one inside my mind. He made me his slave and made me want it. Even after I escaped, I could still feel what he had done to me, and it made me crave sensation of any kind, both feeling it myself and forcing it in others. And Azar help me, Karla, I still do."

Mother Night.

"Hell's fire, Raven, that's awful," Karla said, voice quiet but intense. "He got you addicted to sensation?"

That didn't change anything Karla had said. Adictions lived with people for their entire lives. But they could get stronger and learn to deny it, even as their bodies clamored for more.

"It happened so fast," Raven said, her hand trembling now. "I thought he was only a vampire, but he had powers like my own, only he was much better trained in their use...their use against another. I was not his prisoner for long, but in that time he made me feel things I had never felt before. And I can still feel the cravings. I have not acted on them since I returned to our true world, but they frighten me."

"Do you know which one it was?" Karla asked absently, trying to think of what she could say to reassure Raven that wanting wasn't the same as doing.

Raven shook her head. "I do not know. I had never seen him before, and the only name I called him was Master. He was older -- I do not think he would have been a student here." She closed her eyes and tried to remember details from both dreams and when she was truly in the other Fandom, though calling the vampire's face to mind made her heart race. "His powers were similar to mine, but stronger, and he could also manipulate the wind, I think. He made the fog move. He was large and strong, even without a vampire's additional strength."

Her first meeting with Max in the true Fandom was so guaranteed to be spectacular.

A big, male vampire with powers? That could have been anyone as far as Karla knew, especially since she was still unclear about Max's abilities.

"Well, he's dead and gone now," Karla said. "Which is a blessing. The island got moved to somewhere called Greenland, which has a sun that never sets. Before I left, what vampires remained alive were turning into dust as I watched."

Like Dinah...

"I know that's not the comfort you need," Karla added. "But I thought you might like to know anyway."

Truly spectacular, yes.

Raven nodded. "It is a comfort to know he cannot touch me again, thank you," she said. After a moment dwelling on that, she said, "I think perhaps since I had denied my emotions for so long, that what he forced inside me was all the more intense. I have ~~molested~~ passed by doorways behind which there were couples engaged in intimate acts, but I have never felt it so strongly. If I were more experienced, perhaps he would not have enthralled me so easily."

"Perhaps," Karla said softly, "but anyone can be broken. Remember that. Anyone. No matter how strong you are, someone can get around your strength."

Karla hung her hair in front of her face. This knowledge came not from the Fandom they'd just left behind, but the place she'd once called home.

"I was not strong," Raven said. "I was his toy."

But as Karla ducked her head, her tone changed. There was nothing like another's pain to make her forget her own. "Karla?" she said softly, lifting hand to move the other girl's hair aside. "I am sorry, I have done nothing but pour my pains upon you. Are you all right?"

"Not really," Karla admitted. "But focusing on your pain instead of mine helps, actually. But--just trust me on the being broken thing. I have seen far too many broken witches for this to be in doubt. Unlike them, you have the opportunity to heal, to men, to come back stronger than before, because now you will know your weaknesses."

Karla looked up at Raven. "I do not blame you for breaking or the actions you took after that. But I will blame you, and judge you, if you do not do whatever it is that needs doing to heal yourself from it. This is a gift that has been denied to so many of my people. Don't let fear or shame or pain or anger stand in your way. Please don't Raven. Please."

"I will try," Raven said, trying to swallow passed the lump in her throat. "It hurts so very much, but I will try. But you must let me help you as well."

Karla couldn't really object to that, now could she? "I guess that's fair," she said, giving Raven a small smile.

Raven finally managed a small smile of her own. "Thank you," she said, feeling at least a little better than when the class had begun.

"Your welcome," Karla responded, nudging Raven's knee with her own. "That's what friends do."

"Then I am glad to have you for a friend," Raven said.

"Course you are," Karla teased, tossing her hair over her shoulder. "I'm a good friend to have." She tried to stay arrogant for another minute, but dissolved into giggles instead. "I'm glad we're friends, too. I like you, Raven."

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Destiny & Free Will, Week V [Monday, Period 4]

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