How to be Awesome | Week 4 | Period 6 | Mon. 7/27

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

Awesome class was back in a classroom this week and Barney was up in front of the desks with a PowerPoint and a podium. "Chào mừng bạn! Cuối tuần tất cả các bạn lập hồ sơ và gửi chúng tôi với internet, nơi một vài người trong số họ đã nhận được tiềm năng đáng kể lượt truy cập." He looked around at the students. "Oh!" Some forced embarrassed laughter. "What? No Vietnamese in your repertoire? I'm sorry, maybe we should all stick to English in that case." He sent a pointed look at the odd one from his office hours. "As I was saying, welcome! Last week you all created online profiles and I posted them to the internet where a few of them received significant potential hits. The next question is how do we decide which chick or dude we call up?" How indeed. He straightened his tie and clicked the remote, showing the question on the screen: WHICH CHICK?

"Now, the theory of evolution alleges that men evolved from monkeys...but what about women? It seems that as men became less hairy, more upright, and less interested in tossing their own poo, women became more attractive but somehow more crazy.

Today's chicks like to straddle the line between hot and crazy: the hotter they are, the crazier they are; the crazier they are, the hotter they seem. All of this is confusing to a Bro - meaning you dudes. Sorry ladies, you're on the chart for this one - and it's very often dangerous. How is a Bro to know if a chick is hot and crazy in a 'let's duck into the bathroom' kind of way, or hot and crazy in a 'let's huff paint and stalk your ex-girlfriends' kind of way?" See, he knew what he was talking about. Everyone had at least heard about the latter running around town and sighing heavily as certain boys passed.

"Fortunately, I've devised - and published, mind - a test that allows Bros to quickly determine where a chick fits on the Hot/Crazy Scale, as seen here." The screen flicked and the Crazy/Hot graph appeared for all to see its glory.


Now, you know how hot you are. But you probably have no idea how crazy you are – a major contributing factor to the problem. That’s where the great Professor Barnabus Stinson comes to the rescue. Be honest and rate your hotness from 1-10. Then, take the following simple quiz I’ve designed to see where you fall on the hot/crazy scale." He had the TAs pass out papers as that was so not in his job description. Damn he missed Tink helping him pass the time during lectures with talk of sex and stripper poles. Oh, time to talk again? Right.

"Once you've determined your own hotness, here's a special quiz to help you determine where girls and possibly boys you meet line up on the chart. And remember kids, never underestimate the power of the Crazy Eyes. If you have questions about what that means, ask Marshall. He had the first hand experience."

[Course Information | Roster ]

Comments

Sign In [Awesome W4]

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

How hot are you, on a scale from 1 to 10?

Re: Sign In [Awesome W4]

[rocksthescarf.livejournal.com]

Chuck Bass, totes a 10

Re: Sign In [Awesome W4]

[yakkoyaks.livejournal.com]

Yakko Warner, π^2

Re: Sign In [Awesome W4]

[iknowstuff.livejournal.com]

Layla Miller: 37

Lecture [Awesome W4]

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

Look at that graph! Thank tinker_bitch for it. Then contemplate where you're gonna be and mock your classmates for being worse off than you.

Re: Lecture [Awesome W4]

[pastmewrong.livejournal.com]

This, was possibly the weirdest of all the classes she'd had from this guy so far.

Which was saying something.

Pretty entertaining, at least.

Re: Lecture [Awesome W4]

[fratboybitch.livejournal.com]

Alex wondered if this guy had been dropped on his head or a time or two. He certainly did have some...complex ideas when it came to women. Still, amusing and entertaining.

Take Your Quiz [Awesome W4]

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

.

Quiz Part 1

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

1. You’re walking down the street and see Matt Damon. You:
a: Gawk from afar and let him pass unbothered.
b: Run up to him and beg to have his babies.
c: Stab him with a pen.

2. You’re driving on the freeway and someone cuts you off. You:
a: Take a deep breath, count to ten, and do a random act of kindness.
b: Hold down your horn and scream obscenities.
c: Stab him with his own broken windshield wiper.

3. You see a kitten stuck in a tree. You:
a: Call the fire department and wait for professional help.
b: Climb up and rescue it, then take it home to join the 125 other cats you currently care for.
c: Stab it with a tree branch.

4. You’re on a date with a fellow and it’s not going well. You:
a: Explain to him you’re just not compatible and offer to split the check.
b: Start a small fire in the ladies’ bathroom thus evacuating the restaurant and ending your date.
c: Finish your decadent five-course dinner, then stab him with a lobster claw.

5. Your boss makes a pass at you. You:
a: Report it to human resources.
b: Go for it, then blackmail him for the rest of his natural life.
c: Stab him with his tie.

Re: Quiz Part 1

[iknowstuff.livejournal.com]

1. D. Pelt him with fruit and scream "Who's got apples now beeeyotch?!"
2. D. Wait until the right moment and call in an order for a pizza. Then show up in the intersection to see the bad driver get t-boned.
3. A.
4. D. Same as C but instead of stabbing escape through the window in the women's bathroom.
5. D. Mock.

Re: Quiz Part 1

[rocksthescarf.livejournal.com]

1. C. metaOcean's 12 and 13 sucked.
2. D. I don't drive so I wouldn't notice.
3. D. walk away.
4. D. go to a hospital because I must have some sort of brain damage if I'm actually on a date with a man. Or anyone else for that matter.
5. B.

Re: Quiz Part 1

[likethegun]

Nine times out of ten, Sam was willing to tell teachers whatever they wanted to hear to get a good grade. For some reason, Barney was number ten, and Sam just couldn't bring himself to lie.

1. D. Do nothing. He's not that good of an actor.
2. B.
3. B. I only have one dog though, but he likes cats.
4. D. Decide that the bad date is punishment for cheating on my boyfriend.
5. A.

Re: Quiz Part 1

[likes-chicken.livejournal.com]

1. A.
2. A.
3. A.
4. A.
5. A.

Hurley found this quiz very odd.

Re: Quiz Part 1

[inthereflexes.livejournal.com]

1. D. Who?
2. D. Find the car at the end of the damn thing and push it off the dock with your truck B. Sign language where appropriate.
3. A.
4. D. Try to remember how drunk I was or what bet I lost that I was on a date with a guy.
5. B. And do it on her desk, too.

Re: Quiz Part 1

[fratboybitch.livejournal.com]

1. D - who the hell cares?
2. C
3. D - who the hell cares?
4. D - I wouldn't be out on a date
5. C

Re: Quiz Part 1

[cutsthestrings.livejournal.com]

1. A
2. B (but only for a few moments)
3. D. Save it but I don't have cats.
4. A
5. D. Ignore it

Re: Quiz Part 1

[1moredaytodance.livejournal.com]

1. D - Who the fuck is Matt Damon?
2. B - It's Bilingual obscenity screaming too.
3. D - Do nothing. I hate cats.
4. A
5. B - He better be good looking though.

Re: Quiz Part 1

[gudspellr-claud.livejournal.com]

1. B. OMIGOD HAEVE U SENE HIM?!!!11?
2. B. I lurned to driev neer NYC. Duh.
3. A. Kitties R cute but no wai am I climbing a tree for one.
4. D. Finish the dinner, then eskape out the window in teh ladies room.
5. B. Blackmale is fun!

Re: Quiz Part 1

[defeats-buses.livejournal.com]

1. Who is Matt Damon?
2. I do not drive! But kindness seems lovely! Ah-hah I choose A.
3. B! I would rescue it of course and then set it free! I have no cats. Cats are for princesses!
4. (Prince Edward tapped his pen to paper here) ... (he's not sure what compatible means and split what check? What is a check besides a mark upon paper? But if the date was not going well it could only be the other fellow's fault -) I would stab him! C!
5. Pass at me? Pass what?

Quiz Part 2

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

6. The barista screws up your double skim, half café, no sugar added caramel macchiato. You:
a: Drink whatever she gives you, so as to not create a scene.
b: Throw the scalding hot beverage into the barista’s face.
c: Stab her with a coffee cup.

7. It’s Christmas, a time of giving, charity, and joy. One of the Salvation Army Santa’s won’t stop ringing the bell in front of your apartment. You:
a: Thank him for doing the Lord’s work and give generously.
b: Tar and feather him from your fifth floor balcony.
c: Stab him with his bell, then steal his bucket.

8. Your grandparents are in town visiting. You:
a: Happily show them around town taking extra special care of them.
b: Berate them for the measly 12 bucks they gave you on last year’s birthday.
c: Stab them with their dentures.

9. You find a wallet in the middle of the street. You:
a: Locate the wallet’s owner and return it as found.
b: Steal the person’s identity and live as them.
c: Locate the wallet’s owner and stab them with their license.

10. Your boyfriend proposes. You:
a: Tearfully admit that you’re already married but not opposed to polygamy.
b: You say, “Honestly, we’ve had a lot of great times together but I just don’t see a future between us” thus breaking his heart...then you pick up the pieces of said broken heart, and stab him with it.
c: Say, “Yes, yes, a million times yes!”

TAs [Awesome W4]

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

They are so hot passing out papers, aren't they?

Re: TAs [Awesome W4]

[notahostage]

Wendy was totally hot, yes.

Re: TAs [Awesome W4]

[fratboybitch.livejournal.com]

Alex was completely hot and proud of it.

Barney [Awesome W4]

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

Who is going to get a nice laugh off your quizzes, he's sure.

OOC [Awesome W4]

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

So much love to Barney's Blog, The Bro Code, and my old class for their assistance with one. Please feel free to talk in the quiz and/or lecture threads!