a guide to getting past life's little quirks | wednesday | period 2 | july 15

[flipped-god-off.livejournal.com]

The class was being held in an actual classroom today just as a precautionary measure. After all, if people got into the lesson, he didn't need wanderers by wondering what the hell he was teaching the kids. Hence, the classroom.

"Welcome back," he said cheerfully which should give a sign that the lesson was something Loki really liked. "I wasn't sure how many of you would survive the first week so I'm glad to see most of you did. Today, we're going to talk about swearing."

Oh yes, swearing. Something Loki loved to do.

"Now, if you don't know what swearing is, then I fucking feel sorry for you. Swearing's defined as using profane oaths or language. That's a fancy fucking way of saying using bad words. And now, you may be asking yourself what the fuck this has to do with life. Easy, swearing comes in handy in a a lot of situations. Someone cuts you on on the road? Swear at them. Papercut? I know I want to fucking swear up a storm when that happens. Argument? Look, you're not going to get as much reaction if you sit there and use proper language. Fucking trust me."

He had a lot of experience with swearing and argument but not so much papercuts. He still knew they hurt like a bitch.

"Now, I'll admit to not knowing a lot of other world swear words but hey, that's what this class is for. Swear words in other languages, in other cultures are just as good as what I use. As long as you're swearing, you're getting the point across. If you're someone who doesn't swear, well, today's activity might be hard for you but we'll see how you do."

He didn't hold out a lot of hope.

"There's no real technique to swearing either," he explained. "You can't sound like you don't mean it and you certainly have to know what the fuck you're saying before you say it. You start busting out with words that don't fit the situation, it won't have any affect. Some people like to use swear words sparsely, peppering them in for maximum surprise. Some people--" Like him, "--like to throw swear words in all the time. It's a matter of finding what works for you and what you like. It's an art, really."

It kind of wasn't.

"Today's lesson is easy," he said. "Get into groups and talk about how you swear. Swear at each other some, get acquainted with other languages and then either you pick a spokesperson from your group or you can do it individually and you come and swear at me. You get one sentence and it has to be clear and understandable. Now, if you don't like to swear, that's fine. You'd better have some fierce non swear words to say to me, then. We'll see how you do."

With that, he nodded at the class to get to work. He just hoped people had as much fun cursing as he did.

Comments

Re: partner up [llq 07/15]

[defeats-buses.livejournal.com]

"Well, singing is a way to release emotions too," he said, because he was smart.

Re: partner up [llq 07/15]

[elephantgadget.livejournal.com]

"It can be," Helen said thoughtfully. "But it takes much longer. And people look at you oddly if you randomly burst into song when you are upset."

Re: partner up [llq 07/15]

[defeats-buses.livejournal.com]

He considered that for one second. "I am not looked at oddly."

Re: partner up [llq 07/15]

[elephantgadget.livejournal.com]

Helen looked at him kindly. "You are, you know."

Re: partner up [llq 07/15]

[defeats-buses.livejournal.com]

Edward pouted.

"Am not."

Re: partner up [llq 07/15]

[elephantgadget.livejournal.com]

Helen shrugged. "Believe as you will. Still people seem to like you quite well, so..."

Re: partner up [llq 07/15]

[defeats-buses.livejournal.com]

"Yes, that is because I am happy!"

Re: partner up [llq 07/15]

[elephantgadget.livejournal.com]

Helen rolled her eyes. "Well, good for you."

Re: partner up [llq 07/15]

[defeats-buses.livejournal.com]

He pointed at her. "They are going to fall out of your head one day, you know."

Re: partner up [llq 07/15]

[elephantgadget.livejournal.com]

"Physically impossible," Helen said, looking at him oddly.

Re: partner up [llq 07/15]

[defeats-buses.livejournal.com]

"Then maybe they'll just keep rolling and you won't be able to stop them."

Re: partner up [llq 07/15]

[elephantgadget.livejournal.com]

"Also physically impossible," Helen said firmly. "You are not very bright, are you?"

Oh, Helen. Such social skills!

Re: partner up [llq 07/15]

[defeats-buses.livejournal.com]

"Bright?" Edward looked at his hands. "Should I be... brighter?"

The poor poor boy.

Re: partner up [llq 07/15]

[elephantgadget.livejournal.com]

"Oh... fuck," Helen said succinctly and shook her head.

Re: partner up [llq 07/15]

[defeats-buses.livejournal.com]

Blink.

"You shouldn't say a word that means... that!"

Re: partner up [llq 07/15]

[elephantgadget.livejournal.com]

"But the teacher told us to," Helen pointed out.

Re: partner up [llq 07/15]

[defeats-buses.livejournal.com]

"I've been told you don't have to do everything a teacher says," he offered.

Re: partner up [llq 07/15]

[elephantgadget.livejournal.com]

"Very true," Helen said, "But I do think there are consequences to refusing to do a class assignment."

Re: partner up [llq 07/15]

[defeats-buses.livejournal.com]

"Perhaps," he stated with a princely air of justice. "But I'm certain I can deal with anything that befalls me."

Re: partner up [llq 07/15]

[elephantgadget.livejournal.com]

"Oh yes," Helen said archly. "You 'deal' by running away like a frightened little girl."

Re: partner up [llq 07/15]

[defeats-buses.livejournal.com]

"Pardon me?"

Re: partner up [llq 07/15]

[elephantgadget.livejournal.com]

Helen sighed. "Never mind."

He didn't even understand insults properly.