fandomhigh | Practical Etiquette, Period 3, Class #7

Miss Bennet was a generous, kind soul who would never place her students in any real danger. But she was going to amuse herself at their expense. Somehow, teaching etiquette did not preclude her from misbehaving.

Oh, this would be fun.

"Good morning," Miss Bennet said, clapping her hands in front of herself. "As I warned you last week, you do, in fact, have a final exam today. That is why I have asked all of you to assemble here, in the Danger Shop. Your exam will be a test of many of the principles we have learned over our short weeks together -- how to be social and civil even in circumstances which may be considered less than ideal.

"In this next room," she said, gesturing through the doorway, "is a gentleman by the name of the Reverend William Collins. He wishes to propose marriage to you, for varying reasons, which he will list for you at the slightest provocation. I assure you, you do not wish to accept his proposal. However.

"You cannot simply stride into the next room and call him rude names. The laws of inheritance state that Mr. Collins is next in line for your estate; should your father fall ill this very evening, and pass away, then by dawn, your house and all your possessions will belong to Mr. Collins. Making an enemy of him will have very real and very dire consequences.

"Walk that particular balance as best you can. Persuade him that you do not wish to marry. Spare his feelings. Dissuade him from wishing to offer for you. This is your final exam: refusing Mr. Collins's proposal while not causing him to throw your family out onto the street." Her smile was nearly evil. "Good luck. I do believe you shall need it."

(OCD COMING!)

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"My dearest," Mr. Collins said, hurrying to her side with a decided simper. "Do please come in. I believe we have an ... important matter to discuss."

There was a decided Look to accompany that statement.

"Do we sir?" Leda said innocently, adopting a regal stance. Managing to adopt a slightly less regal stance than she'd had at the dinner party. She didn't want to slip into that identity again if she could help it.

She entered the room and looked at him expectantly. "And what might that be?"

"Ah, your feminine delicacy leads you to dissemble," Mr. Collins sighed. "Your modesty adds to your other perfections, my dearest. But you can hardly doubt the object of my discourse. My attentions have been too marked to be mistaken."

At the very least, the leer he was giving her was rather specific.

Again Leda had to bite down on her tongue to keep from laughing. "I'm sure I don't know what you mean sir." she said, looking down demurely. To hide her smirk.

"You are uniformly charming," Mr. Collins insisted, hoping that she was being demure and not, perhaps, a touch ... slow. "But I have singled you out as the companion of my future life. My honourable patroness, the Lady Catherine de Bourgh, she said, 'Mr. Collins. You must marry.' And so I shall, my dear."

He reached for her hands eagerly.

Leda just couldn't keep the laugh from coming without drastic measures, so she coughed until the urge passed. Which took a minute, and also gave her the perfect excuse to keep him from touching her hands. As propriety demanded she cover her mouth.

"Are you ... feeling all right, my dearest?" Mr. Collins asked, narrowing his eyes at her shrewdly. That didn't sound like a terribly good sort of cough. Her mother had assured him that the girl was in excellent health.

Well this wasn't the route she'd originally intended to go, but she could improvise.

"Yes I'm-" She broke off into a bit of a choking cough, as if trying to stifle a very bad coughing fit. "I'm sorry." she choked.

"It's quite all right," he said quickly, wiping his hands on his jacket. He hadn't touched her, but it never hurt to be sure. "You can't help being ill now and again. I suppose none of us are in excellent health all seasons, are we?"

He was, perhaps, digging for information, in his typical unsubtle manner.

Seemingly recovering herself, Leda took a deep breath. "It, it comes and it goes. We'd hoped I'd finally conquered it."

"Y- ... es," he managed, uncertainly. "And I am quite certain that you have, my dearest. After all, such things ... typically clear up sooner rather than later, don't they?"

"Oh yes I'm sure they do." she said cheerfully, then bit down extra hard on her tongue as she gave a slight cough to give it a painful sound. For Miss Bennet's sake she would not reveal the tactics she was using. Ow.

Practical Etiquette, Period 3, Class #7 - Thursday, June 25th

Re: Mr. Collins's Proposal [ET-7]

Re: Mr. Collins's Proposal [ET-7]

Re: Mr. Collins's Proposal [ET-7]

Re: Mr. Collins's Proposal [ET-7]

Re: Mr. Collins's Proposal [ET-7]

Re: Mr. Collins's Proposal [ET-7]

Re: Mr. Collins's Proposal [ET-7]

Re: Mr. Collins's Proposal [ET-7]

Re: Mr. Collins's Proposal [ET-7]

Re: Mr. Collins's Proposal [ET-7]

Re: Mr. Collins's Proposal [ET-7]

Re: Mr. Collins's Proposal [ET-7]