http://clevermsbennet.livejournal.com/ ([identity profile] clevermsbennet.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] fandomhigh2009-06-25 01:15 am
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Practical Etiquette, Period 3, Class #7 - Thursday, June 25th

Miss Bennet was a generous, kind soul who would never place her students in any real danger. But she was going to amuse herself at their expense. Somehow, teaching etiquette did not preclude her from misbehaving.

Oh, this would be fun.

"Good morning," Miss Bennet said, clapping her hands in front of herself. "As I warned you last week, you do, in fact, have a final exam today. That is why I have asked all of you to assemble here, in the Danger Shop. Your exam will be a test of many of the principles we have learned over our short weeks together -- how to be social and civil even in circumstances which may be considered less than ideal.

"In this next room," she said, gesturing through the doorway, "is a gentleman by the name of the Reverend William Collins. He wishes to propose marriage to you, for varying reasons, which he will list for you at the slightest provocation. I assure you, you do not wish to accept his proposal. However.

"You cannot simply stride into the next room and call him rude names. The laws of inheritance state that Mr. Collins is next in line for your estate; should your father fall ill this very evening, and pass away, then by dawn, your house and all your possessions will belong to Mr. Collins. Making an enemy of him will have very real and very dire consequences.

"Walk that particular balance as best you can. Persuade him that you do not wish to marry. Spare his feelings. Dissuade him from wishing to offer for you. This is your final exam: refusing Mr. Collins's proposal while not causing him to throw your family out onto the street." Her smile was nearly evil. "Good luck. I do believe you shall need it."

(OCD COMING!)

Re: Mr. Collins's Proposal [ET-7]

[identity profile] joan-notjane.livejournal.com 2009-06-25 12:15 pm (UTC)(link)
Joan barely managed to contain her urge to shudder at his touch. "I'm very sorry that I am unable to accept your proposal."

No, she really wasn't.
notahostage: ($ Collins - pontifcating)

Re: Mr. Collins's Proposal [ET-7]

[personal profile] notahostage 2009-06-25 12:19 pm (UTC)(link)
"Well, yes, the Lord has a plan for us all," Mr Collins said. "Tell me, my dear, have you ever considered taking holy orders?"

Aw, look, he was trying to be helpful.

Re: Mr. Collins's Proposal [ET-7]

[identity profile] joan-notjane.livejournal.com 2009-06-25 12:21 pm (UTC)(link)
Well, wasn't that an awkwardly accurate question.

"I have considered it, yes."

More like had it thrust upon her involuntarily.
notahostage: ($ Collins - pontifcating)

Re: Mr. Collins's Proposal [ET-7]

[personal profile] notahostage 2009-06-25 12:28 pm (UTC)(link)
"Then far be it for me to stand between you and your calling," Mr Collins said, as if this was a great sacrifice he was making. "Go with God my child."

Re: Mr. Collins's Proposal [ET-7]

[identity profile] joan-notjane.livejournal.com 2009-06-25 12:29 pm (UTC)(link)
"Good luck with your search, Sir," Joan said, high-tailing it out of the room.