fandomhigh | Practical Etiquette, Period 3, Class #7

Miss Bennet was a generous, kind soul who would never place her students in any real danger. But she was going to amuse herself at their expense. Somehow, teaching etiquette did not preclude her from misbehaving.

Oh, this would be fun.

"Good morning," Miss Bennet said, clapping her hands in front of herself. "As I warned you last week, you do, in fact, have a final exam today. That is why I have asked all of you to assemble here, in the Danger Shop. Your exam will be a test of many of the principles we have learned over our short weeks together -- how to be social and civil even in circumstances which may be considered less than ideal.

"In this next room," she said, gesturing through the doorway, "is a gentleman by the name of the Reverend William Collins. He wishes to propose marriage to you, for varying reasons, which he will list for you at the slightest provocation. I assure you, you do not wish to accept his proposal. However.

"You cannot simply stride into the next room and call him rude names. The laws of inheritance state that Mr. Collins is next in line for your estate; should your father fall ill this very evening, and pass away, then by dawn, your house and all your possessions will belong to Mr. Collins. Making an enemy of him will have very real and very dire consequences.

"Walk that particular balance as best you can. Persuade him that you do not wish to marry. Spare his feelings. Dissuade him from wishing to offer for you. This is your final exam: refusing Mr. Collins's proposal while not causing him to throw your family out onto the street." Her smile was nearly evil. "Good luck. I do believe you shall need it."

(OCD COMING!)

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"I assure you, I am not playing," Leto replied. "That would hardly be honourable, would it?" He avoided meeting Mr Collins' eyes, and managed to keep quite serious.

"I see," Mr. Collins said, frowning as he tried to understand that he had, somehow, been too subtle. It only took him a few seconds to repackage the scene into his world view again. "With your modesty, your humility, you of course have been unable to realize that natural consequence of my actions. I have the happy task of informing you that I have chosen you to be the companion of my future life."

Pretending to be completely taken by surprise, Leto's eyes widened. "I... don't know what to say. I would never have expected this. Your offer is most flattering."

"Indeed." Mr. Collins seemed very pleased with himself. "Being that I am to inherit this estate upon the deaths of your father, nothing could satisfy me but to resolve to choose a spouse from his children. And now, all that remains is for me to assure you, in the most animated of terms, of the violence of my affections."

He pulled a chair up to be facing Leto's, and reached for his hands.

It was rather repulsive, but Leto let him take his hands. "But I'm afraid I can't accept. I have made vows that prohibit me from entering matrimony."

That was upsetting news; Mr. Collins frowned for a few moments, wondering as he held onto Leto's hands. Vows? Religious ones, perhaps.

"I assure you, my dear, that your piety only adds to your other perfections," he said smoothly. "Would you not reconsider? I am, of course, a man of the cloth. You could assist me, in tending to our parishioners' needs. Would that not be a preferable way to serve, rather than cloistering yourself away from the world?"

Leto wasn't quite sure of the details of the religion of Mr Collins' time, so he improvised. "Perhaps your offer is a way for God to test me, but I have pledged myself to stay on the path he has chosen for me. The visions were quite clear. I am to remain chaste and will do my best to fulfill His wish that I undertake a pilgrimage to the Holy Country."

"I had not realized ... how very pious you were, my dear," Mr. Collins said, with an expression of mild distaste. He was a man of the cloth, but i didn't Do to get carried away with such things. He released Leto's hands and folded his own together, on the table. "Do your parents know of this ... pilgrimage that you have planned? They may wish for more ... stability for you than that may provide."

Though Mr. Collins was uncertain that he should want a lifemate who was quite so ... devout.

"They do not," Leto replied, trying to remember something useful about Christianity. "And while I'm sure you understand the pain it would cause me to disobey them, the commands of God are above those of man. Did not our Saviour himself tell his disciples to abandon their families and follow him? As a man of God, surely you must understand this."

Leto was quite relieved not to have the man cling to his hands any longer.

"That He did," Mr. Collins said, looking somewhat put out. "He most certainly did. How very ... good of you, my dear. I wish you every success with your journeys, though it pains me greatly to know that they will keep you from being my spouse."

Mr. Collins seemed less pained and more relieved, as though he had dodged an enormous bullet.

"And I wish you every success in finding your true companion, whom God has chosen for you," Leto replied, smiling.

"Thank you," Mr. Collins said, drawing himself up to standing. He was generous enough to grant Leto a smile, in return. "May we both serve Him in happiness and devotion. I wish you a good day."

"And I wish you the same." Leto remained seated, pleased that the strategy had worked.

Practical Etiquette, Period 3, Class #7 - Thursday, June 25th

Re: Mr. Collins's Proposal [ET-7]

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Re: Mr. Collins's Proposal [ET-7]

Re: Mr. Collins's Proposal [ET-7]

Re: Mr. Collins's Proposal [ET-7]

Re: Mr. Collins's Proposal [ET-7]