Practical Etiquette, Period 3, Class #7 - Thursday, June 25th

[clevermsbennet.livejournal.com]

Miss Bennet was a generous, kind soul who would never place her students in any real danger. But she was going to amuse herself at their expense. Somehow, teaching etiquette did not preclude her from misbehaving.

Oh, this would be fun.

"Good morning," Miss Bennet said, clapping her hands in front of herself. "As I warned you last week, you do, in fact, have a final exam today. That is why I have asked all of you to assemble here, in the Danger Shop. Your exam will be a test of many of the principles we have learned over our short weeks together -- how to be social and civil even in circumstances which may be considered less than ideal.

"In this next room," she said, gesturing through the doorway, "is a gentleman by the name of the Reverend William Collins. He wishes to propose marriage to you, for varying reasons, which he will list for you at the slightest provocation. I assure you, you do not wish to accept his proposal. However.

"You cannot simply stride into the next room and call him rude names. The laws of inheritance state that Mr. Collins is next in line for your estate; should your father fall ill this very evening, and pass away, then by dawn, your house and all your possessions will belong to Mr. Collins. Making an enemy of him will have very real and very dire consequences.

"Walk that particular balance as best you can. Persuade him that you do not wish to marry. Spare his feelings. Dissuade him from wishing to offer for you. This is your final exam: refusing Mr. Collins's proposal while not causing him to throw your family out onto the street." Her smile was nearly evil. "Good luck. I do believe you shall need it."

(OCD COMING!)

Comments

Re: Mr. Collins's Proposal [ET-7]

[notahostage]

Mr Collins smiled at Serena in a utterly charming manner. Well, he thought it was charming at least. "Indeed I was my dear."

Re: Mr. Collins's Proposal [ET-7]

[golden-rising.livejournal.com]

Her smile was perfunctory but little more, nodding to him, thinking his smile was rather slimy. "I hope I hadn't kept you waiting too long."

Re: Mr. Collins's Proposal [ET-7]

[notahostage]

"You could never keep me too long, my darling cousin, I assure you of that," Mr Collins replied. "You are aware of why I wish to speak with you, of course."

Re: Mr. Collins's Proposal [ET-7]

[golden-rising.livejournal.com]

"I am not," not waiting for an invitation, Serena moved toward a seat, sitting gracefully. "I am curious to hear why you wish my time."

Re: Mr. Collins's Proposal [ET-7]

[notahostage]

"Your feminine discretion does you credit my dear," Mr Collin's said. "But we both know that there's only one reason for us to be speaking this afternoon."

Re: Mr. Collins's Proposal [ET-7]

[golden-rising.livejournal.com]

"It has little to do with discretion, feminine or otherwise," she made herself smile, folding her hands in her lap politely. "I do not know why it is you might wish to speak to me, Cousin."

Re: Mr. Collins's Proposal [ET-7]

[notahostage]

"Again, your modesty does you well," Mr Collins said. Because yes, that's why she was asking. "And truly, I would be disappointed if you hadn't attempted to dissemble. But let me be clear. I'm talking marriage."

Re: Mr. Collins's Proposal [ET-7]

[golden-rising.livejournal.com]

"You plan to marry? I am happy for you," she said it earnestly, "and I hope to meet your bride to be soon. It will be good to welcome her into the family and soon. It will be a great task to plan a wedding."

Re: Mr. Collins's Proposal [ET-7]

[notahostage]

Mr Collins laughed. It was kind of scary.

"Your lady mother did not mention you possessed such a sine sense of humour," he said. "Though it might be best not to display too much of it to my Lady de Bourgh. Though she is possessed of a fine wit, most jests are much too coarse and below her dignity"

Re: Mr. Collins's Proposal [ET-7]

[golden-rising.livejournal.com]

It was sort of scary, but not unlike the laugh of stepfather number two. Or was it boyfriend number three? Serena had a hard time keeping them straight.

Instead she composed her features, looking seriously at the man across from her. "I don't know why you'd think I was jesting. If you are to be wed, I look forward to inviting your bride into our family. Family is the most important thing, is it not?"

Re: Mr. Collins's Proposal [ET-7]

[notahostage]

"But that is the jest, my dear," Mr Collins explained, as to a small and backwards child. "Given that you are already part of the family."

Re: Mr. Collins's Proposal [ET-7]

[golden-rising.livejournal.com]

"I am, yes, but you could not mean," she paused, looking at him seriously. "You and I, cousin, I thought you knew mother had already put word out for me." The phrasing was strange, but she fell into it more easily than she cared to thing, "And while my father is ill, I cannot think to do more than care for him."

Re: Mr. Collins's Proposal [ET-7]

[notahostage]

"Your father is in ill-health?" Mr Collins asked, casting an appraising eye around the room. "All the more reason for us not to waste time, else the worst should happen before we are wed."

Re: Mr. Collins's Proposal [ET-7]

[golden-rising.livejournal.com]

"Mister Collins," she shook her head, her hair falling forward when she did. Her smile seemed true and genuine, for all that she wanted to roll her eyes. "I can't consider such things while he isn't well. Wait a while and it would be more appropriate."

Re: Mr. Collins's Proposal [ET-7]

[notahostage]

"A while then my dear," Mr Collins conceded. He didn't really sound as put off as he should have. "I can only hope that one day you will show the same care and dedication to your maternal duty as you do your filial."

Re: Mr. Collins's Proposal [ET-7]

[golden-rising.livejournal.com]

"It isn't right to talk about it now, though," she said, hoping to put it off at least for the moment. Would that be enough to pass the exam? "There is too much worry with my family now. We can talk about it another time."

Re: Mr. Collins's Proposal [ET-7]

[notahostage]

"Another time then," Mr Collins agreed, reaching over to pat Serena's shoulder creepily comfortingly.

Re: Mr. Collins's Proposal [ET-7]

[golden-rising.livejournal.com]

She bore that well, biting back any grimace she might have otherwise shown. Serena forced a smile, "I thank you Cousin, for your consideration. I appreciate it greatly."

Re: Mr. Collins's Proposal [ET-7]

[notahostage]

"My heart goes with you, my dear." Because that's what every girl wanted.

Re: Mr. Collins's Proposal [ET-7]

[golden-rising.livejournal.com]

Serena smiled as she stood. "Thank you, Mr Collins."