fandomhigh | Practical Etiquette, Period 3, Class #6

Miss Bennet had ~~handwavily~~ notified her students to meet her in the Danger Shop, this week, and added that they might wish to wear something elegant, but not to concern themselves if they were unable to accomplish the latter. She herself had worn one of her favorite gowns, with a stylish hairpiece and opera-length gloves.

The Danger Shop looked identical to Miss Bennet's classroom, save the two ornate double doors off to one side, and a far more ordinary one to the rear.

"Welcome," Miss Bennet said, smiling at her students. "First, I should like to say that you have my apologies for my absence last week, though I am glad to know that I left you in quite capable hands. Secondly, I wish to inform you that, as last week is our last time together, I will be giving a final exam. Pray do not distress yourselves studying; it will not be the sort of examination which requires rote memorization. More a practical application of what we have learned so far.

"And now, we may progress to today's lesson. Today, we will be discussing etiquette as applies to more formal setting; that is to say, a dinner party." She clasped her hands in front of herself. "One arrives, and mingles with the other guests, making polite conversation. Nothing too serious, and nothing which may cause offense. When dinner is announced, guests follow into the dining area by order of precedence -- their social standing as regards one another. When you find yourself in doubt in such situations, it is wiser to err on the side of caution, and rank yourself slightly lower than your own estimations. It is better to be elevated by an attentive hostess than demoted.

"Always stand until your hostess sits. Soup is the first course; do take care not to begin on your own food until all have been served, and even then, it is wise to wait for one's hostess to begin. Converse with those seated near you. Do not shout over several individuals in order to have a loud conversation with someone on the opposite side of the table altogether. Do please remember that it is considered rude to snub the food with which you are presented; if it is not to your liking, make an effort to eat enough of it that your dislike will not be noticeable, lest the party think you are insulting your hostess. For silverware, there is a simple trick: start on the furthest utensil out, then move inward for each course."

Miss Bennet then straightened up, and walked purposefully to the door at the back of the room. "You all look quite lovely," she said, regardless of whether any of them had actually worn anything formal. "But we have several minutes before our dinner party is to start. So should any of you desire, you may sample the Danger Shop's wares." She opened the door, revealing a small storeroom filled with dresses and suits, with changing areas to the side. Her eyes were dancing. "Do please hurry, so our food does not turn cold."

(~~Wait for~~ OCD up!)

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"Perhaps we'll have to start one in a common room one evening." He glanced towards Miss Bennet's end of the table. "Somewhere that doesn't ruin Miss Bennet's well-laid plans. I'm sure it wouldn't take much effort to agitate someone into fighting back."

Karla also gave Miss Bennet a considering glance. "She's too kind to spoil her dinner. And too in charge of our grades. Some other time it'll have to be," she agreed with a smile.

"Feel free to hold me to that offer."

"Can we agree that unexpectedly flying food counts as me holding you to it?" Karla asked impishly. "Or should a verbal warning precede it?"

Five seconds ahead still counts as preceding.

Edmund looked as if he was considering her offer. "I think a verbal warning would ruin the experience."

And that earned him a laugh. "I like the way you think, Edmund," Karla said, eyes dancing. "Now that I think of it, once the battle is fully joined, I probably wouldn't mind laying aside hostilities for a temporary alliance. Just saying."

"That would certainly add some interest to the battle. The unsuspecting participants wouldn't be expecting that."

"The element of surprise is a key factor in many battles," Karla said, doing her best to look innocent.

"Are you suggesting," Edmund asked slyly and not at all seriously, "that I would do well to watch my back around you?"

Karla blinked, feigning shock. "Edmund! How absurd! I see exactly where your mind went. I, of course, was simply speaking in generalities. I don't think I can live with such a dreadful imputation on my honor."

She picked up her napkin to dab at her eyes, and, under the cover of fluttering it around, vanished a grape from her plate. "See? I'm crying here," she said, holding the napkin out for him to inspect.

"Yes, so I see. A very good effort too," he replied, amused as he leaned in to inspect the napkin just to be sure.

She called the grape back in just as Edmund peered into the napkin. It bounced out of the fabric, heading right for his nose.

"Surprise!" she whispered with a grin. "And you were worried for your back."

The grape bounced off his nose, causing him to jerk back. "I thought we agreed to a cessation of hostilities while here?"

"You impugned my honor. I thought it was a better idea, etiquette-wise, than to challenge you to a duel in the dining room. Besides, neither of us have seconds. For anything other than dinner, any way."

"I am sorry for it hitting you, though," Karla admitted honestly. "It was supposed to just pop out and startle you, but I slightly misjudged the distance from the napkin to your nose. I hadn't actually intended to break the peace-treaty. A mis-aimed warning shot, if you will."

"On the other hand," she continued, giving Edmund her best unsure-but-game smile, "I do believe that cedes rights of initial fire to you in any future skirmish."

"No apology necessary," Edmund assured her. "Though I will gladly rights of initial fire in future battles with the provision that you not think badly of me for relishing the opportunity to trounce you unawares seeing as though you're a lady. It's very unbecoming behaviour for a gentleman, but I think given the circumstances, behaviour that could be overlooked."

"I accept those battle terms so long as you understand that I highly doubt the likelihood of 'trouncing,' even after ceding you initial rights of attack," Karla said thoughtfully. "And that you'll also excuse such behavior as unbecoming to a lady."

"...Do accords scrawled on a napkin still count? I feel as if we should have a record for future generations. So they can see what a proper set of accords look like."

"I suppose they could count, if you feel inclined to keep a record of some kind."

Karla looked at the fine linen nakin she was holding. "Nahh. It just wouldn't feel right. Now, if we had one of the thin paper napkins in a commong room and a children's color-stick, that would be different. Truly a set of accords to respect and hold up as an example. This would still be far too formal." She grinned at Edmund. "Don't you agree?"

"Far too formal," he agreed, "and we couldn't have that."

"Precisely. Edmund, I must say, I find you to be a most charming and agreeable opponent," Karla said, laughing. "I'm starting to worry about my resolve in engaging you in combat. Though I sare say my resolve will firm up when I'm standing in a common room, with salad in my hair or something."

"Now I'm looking forward to our future battle even more."

"Hoping I'll freeze? Or enjoying the image of me with salad in my hair?"

"A bit of both."

"Fair," she conceded, with a grin.

Practical Etiquette, Period 3, Class #6 - Thursday, June 18

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