fandomhigh | Practical Etiquette, Period 3, Class #1

"Good morning," Lizzy said, clasping her hands behind her back and telling herself quite firmly not to be nervous. "My name is Miss Elizabeth Bennet, and I'm to be your teacher on the subject of Practical Etiquette."

"To answer what is likely to be the first question, I'd like to give my definition of practical etiquette. Fear not; there will be no sudden quizzes on the proper form of address for a Bishop as compared to a Duke. Instead, we will be focusing on the larger points. Many of us are from greatly different backgrounds; however, much of civil society is universal. My hope is that, once you have completed this class, you will be sufficiently able to compose yourself in any situation presented to you. This includes situations for which one has no advance knowledge, such as when one finds one's self on an unknown island, in a completely unexpected world." As, perhaps, many of them had done just this week.

"This class will teach the generalities. What to attempt, what to avoid, what one should never, ever raise in polite conversation. How to detect subtle cues from one's environment. How to adapt one's self just enough not to raise any undue eyebrows.

"We will start this week with introductions and greetings. In many cultures, when you are introduced to someone, you should bow your head as a sign of respect. Even lowering it for a brief nod will suffice, in some circumstances, though one must always show more deference to royalty or heads of state. One should state one's name, and note that one is pleased to make the acquaintance, even if one is not. Societies in my time would ask that a lady offer her hand to a gentleman to receive a kiss on the knuckles, while gentleman between themselves would shake hands. Modern society has embraced the handshake, and so shall we. Your handshake should be firm, polite, and brief. Never give someone a limp, dead hand; nor should you crush the other person's fingers in your own. Hold the other person's eyes while shaking their hand, that they know they are fully occupying your attention.

"While shaking the person's hand, you might feel moved to compliment the person. A word of caution is required here. If one is introduced to the hostess, and compliments her lovely eyes, said hostess might presume one is expressing romantic interest. This may cause unwelcome entanglements, or give offense to her spouse if she has one. Keep compliments detached from the person you are meeting him or herself. Telling one she has a lovely necklace is far more acceptable than mentioning any part of her person; thanking her for the invitation, or expressing your delight at the decor of her home are also quite safe grounds.

"Now." She smiled at all of them. "I would like each of you to stand and introduce yourselves. Tell us your name, your interests, and why you have chosen this class. Once we have all done so, I would like for you to mingle with one another, shaking hands and expressing polite compliments to one another. Does that sound acceptable?

"If there are questions, or if you should like to assist me in teaching this course, please do see me after class. And the lovely Miss Watson is available to you, as well, as she has been assigned as a teaching aide for this course." Miss Bennet had not actually met Miss Watson, but she had received a letter to that effect, and chose to believe it. She would hope that Fandom was not simply amusing itself at her expense once more. Instead, she pointed towards one student with an easy smile. "Would you begin for us?"

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"That's fantastic. I've never even seen a Unicorn."

"They're beautiful. The most amazing creatures I've ever seen," Karla's eyes were far away, and her face soft with notstalgia. "Don't get me wrong, dragons are awe-inspiring, but there is just something so majestic about the unicorns."

"Sounds like it'd be a different kind of beauty." Leda said. "Is it true that Unicorns only like virgins?"

"I've never heard anything like that," Karla said, puzzled. "Unicorns are Blood, like any other kindred. I don't know why they would discriminate against witches who have already had their Virgin Night."

That was an awesome phrase. "Must be another bullshit story by the rubes."

"Or your unicorns are not like my unicorns, much like your elves are not like my Dea al Mon," she pointed out. "There are so many things here that look the same or sound the same, and yet are completely different than the things I know back home."

"Oh yeah. That could be it too. Dunno I just thought that since there's so much in my own world that the humans got wrong..." she shrugged. "Well not all humans."

"Don't worry," Karla said with a grin, "I'm not ruling wrong out."

"So, how'd it go with your magic luggage?"

Karla rolled her eyes at her own idiocy. She was never going to live that one down--even if only in her own head. "Okay," she muttered. "I grabbed everything I needed for the cabin from it, and sent it all away again. It's a very convenient way to travel when I'm not failing at it."

"Where does it go?"

"..."

Karla didn't actually have an answer for her. "Away?" Okay, she did have an answer, one she'd come up with herself years ago, but the explanation sounded stupid. But probably not as stupid as her previous answer, so she decided to give it a shot. "Ummm...I think it's sort of like having an invisible storage closet that follows you around and hold things until you want them. Anything you put in there can be taken out again."

Mother Night. Had that really come out as insane as it sounded in her head?

It was as good an answer as any. Maybe if she'd seen more Sci-Fi she could have come up with an explanation.

"You know it's somewhat comforting that you're not sure either."

Karla shrugged. "Growing up with Craft, you don't think about certain aspects of it. When you call something, it comes, and it's all very commonplace. I never realized how much I didn't understand until I was here, trying to explain it to everyone."

"I feel a little like that when I try to think about how time works outside of Bordertown."

"Ha! Now it's mine turn for questions," Karla said, laughing. "What's Bordertown, and why would time work different outside of it? What does Bordertown act as a border to?"

Edited 2009-05-15 21:11 (UTC)

Leda laughed too. "Well once upon a time, Elves and what not lived on Earth, same as everyone else, but we had our own realm too, called Faery. A few centuries ago, we all left Earth, and sealed up Faery. A few decades ago, no one's sure how, but the border between the worlds came back. Bordertown is the city where the actual gate appeared. And because it's on the border, time runs different there. Sometimes it's faster than outside, sometimes it's slower. But it all seems constant to us."

"Why did you go?" Kaeleer had done something similar to its sister-Realm, Terreille, two or so millenias back, and probably for very similar reasons. "We have Gates in Kaeleer, they enable us tro travel between the three Realms. Is that how they work for you?"

"Well according to my teachers it was because Humans were getting increasingly hostile towards anything magical, and Elves in particular. And yeah I think that's how the gate works, except that only Elves and halfies can get through."

"The landens in my world are also frightened of magic. Though, in their case, perhaps it is more justified. They are defenseless against even the least powerful of the Blood."

"Landens? What are they, humans who have no magic?"

"Exactly," she said. "All Blood races have landens, too. It's because of how the Blood was created."

"So there's more than one blood race? Humans, the Dal, whatevers, and someone else?"

"Oh yes! Humans, both long-lived and short, the Dea al Mon, Eyriens, satyrs, centaurs, the tigre-kin, and that's not even counting the kindred, like the unicorns, the dragons, and the kindred wolves, dogs, Arcerian cats..."

"Aside from the humans, your world's sounding more and more like Faery."

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Practical Etiquette, Period 3, Class #1 - Thursday, May 14th

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