Journalism: Thursday, Period 4, Final

[trustshisbarber.livejournal.com]

"It's your final, you know what you're doing. If you don't know what you're doing, I have something picked out just for you. Your deadline is at the end of the class period, write on whatever subject you chose. Claire, you chose photography. Give me your photos and go on your next photo assignment: Students taking their finals. And look at this, we have a room full of people for you to pester with a camera!" Jonah grinned.

"This is your final lesson in this class. When you're on a tight deadline there are going to be all kinds of distractions. Maybe it's your family, maybe you're writing on a train, maybe it's somebody trying to kill you because they didn't like what you wrote, maybe it's a menace who enjoys trying to annoy you for no good reason! In this case it's a photographer taking pictures of you. (Claire, use flash.) Figure out how to deal with it and get to work!"

[OOC: Remember, if I get a couple people who actually write their articles, I'll be putting together a Journalism Class Newspaper. Handwaving is absolutely acceptable, but please give me a headline and the topic of your article.

A couple students have permission to try to disrupt the other students who are working so hard. Beware!]

Comments

Sign In [Finals]

[trustshisbarber.livejournal.com]

Sad that you are leaving Jonah's class!

Re: Sign In [Finals]

[always-damp.livejournal.com]

Toby

Re: Sign In [Finals]

[sonofmogh.livejournal.com]

Worf. Who would be sad if he had to wear this outfit.

Listen to the Lecture [Finals]

[trustshisbarber.livejournal.com]

The last lesson Jonah's going to teach you.

Re: Listen to the Lecture [Finals]

[always-damp.livejournal.com]

There were lots of final things about today. Toby was probably going to cry at least once during the assignment.

Ignore the sniffling, that doesn't count.

Re: Listen to the Lecture [Finals]

[sonofmogh.livejournal.com]

"Silence with your wibbling. Some of us are trying to listen," Worf hissed.

Re: Listen to the Lecture [Finals]

[the_merriest]

Rikku had bounced around town this morning, seeking out news. This was totally doable. Really. She fidgeted in her seat and glanced around at her classmates.

Re: Listen to the Lecture [Finals]

[iruinenglish.livejournal.com]

Buffy hadn't tried to slay the teacher's hair yet. She wondered if that meant she was slacking. Should she try, before graduation? What if that menace got out where she couldn't protect people from it?

Write Your Article [Finals]

[trustshisbarber.livejournal.com]

The following people signed up for the listed Pulitzer Prize categories:

Anemone: Feature Writing
Amber Atkins: Local Reporting
Annja Creed: Editorial Writing
Claire Fisher: Feature Photography
Lois Lane: Investigative Reporting
Rikku: Breaking News Reporting
Robin: Explanatory Reporting
Buffy Summers: Commentary
Blair Waldorf: Criticism
Sam Witwicky: International Reporting
Worf: Feature Writing

Jonah passed out instructions to the following students who failed to sign up for anything last week. Since they had no time to properly prepare a story idea for their category, Jonah supplied those as well.

Teddy Altman: Explanatory Reporting. Write an article explaining why fraternities are a menace.
Toby Moraitis: Local Reporting. Stay very local and write about Finals week. See if you can get an interview with a student in this class, not counting your photographer, Claire.
Warren Peace: Criticism. Write a critique on local hairstyles, keeping in mind who's grading your article.
Cal Stephanides: Commentary. Write an expose on how great this class has been.

[OOC: Handwaving is fine, but please at least give me a headline.]

Re: Write Your Article [Finals]

[sonofmogh.livejournal.com]

Worf did a very detailed feature on birth control. Very detailed. Scarily detailed. Perhaps too much detail.

His headline was: "Students Practicing Permanent Birth Control" or "Why Johnny shouldn't procreate."

Re: Write Your Article [Finals]

[swipedthatfoot.livejournal.com]

Claire handed in her photo of Apu (http://community.livejournal.com/fandomtownies/3866547.html?thread=159887795#t159887795), then turned on the flash on her camera and watched for something to happen.

Re: Write Your Article [Finals]

[carsexual]

Sam handed in an article on the political situation in Cuba titled "Fidel Castro: Still Not Dead."

Re: Write Your Article [Finals]

[minnesota-teen.livejournal.com]

Amber handed in her article about Caritas, the local bar in town, focusing on the zombies. It was titled: "Fandom's Zombies Rock! An inside look at why they don't want you."

Re: Write Your Article [Finals]

[spiritandsword]

Annja wrote a passionate editorial about why the Gremlins should be protected. The article was titled : "Our Enigmatic Island Neighbors"

Re: Write Your Article [Finals]

[the_merriest]

Rikku had decided to write the breaking news report as if it was a series of news bulletins, from the AP wire. Luckily, she had had some adventures in town this morning.


FLOWER SHOP STRUCK WITH FLOWERY PHRASES
This morning, the establishment known as Covent Garden Flowers was struck with an isolated incident of Fandom abnormality. All individuals entering the shop found themselves engaging in formal, patterned speech. The proprietor, Miss Doolittle, questioned whether the participants were acting deliberately, but those affected claimed they were surprised to hear what came from their mouths. The effect is ongoing as of press time, but is not expected to be permanent.


BITTERWOMAN RELAUNCHED
Fans of the Bitterwoman comic series will be eager to hear that the character is undergoing a 'relaunch.' The newly-released issue will effectively re-start the series' continuity. Many ongoing series will relaunch a character in order to take the series in a new direction, or to clean the slate of unwanted elements in the series' past. Sarah Walker - owner of the Android's Dungeon comic store - stated that the new issue contains "more information than ever on [Bitterwoman's] origin story." No word yet on how fans are receiving this new take on an old classic.


LOCAL EMPLOYEE FOUND DEAD
Turtle and Canary was the scene of tragedy this morning, as Jamie Madrox was found behind the counter with an apparent skull-fracture. Lying next to Madrox was what authorities believe to be the murder weapon: a Grape Judas squishie. Another employee was on-duty during the time of the murder, but claimed to be in the back room performing a stock inventory, and therefore unable to assist police in this matter. Left near Madrox was a cryptic note, reading: LET'S SEE IF THIS GOES IN HIS SHRINE. Authorities urge any with information to come forward.


There. If Rikku got bored enough, she would probably do updates.

Re: Write Your Article [Finals]

[robinthefrog.livejournal.com]

Gremlins: They Bite Because They Care

Fandom Island, with it's diverse, unique, innovative and resourceful population is a wild card in almost any situation. It is unpredictable, at times chaotic, and this is represented best of all by it's indigenous population.

When newcomers arrive on our shores they are given warnings to boggle the mind. Time travel, aliens, random acts of weirdness and of course, kids. But the most prevalent warning they are given is: “Watch out for the Gremlins”.

Gremlins, are small, green, elusive creatures that inhabit the dark, out of the way corners of Fandom. One might go over a year and never see one. But hardly a month goes by that they don't make their presence known. A Gremlin's saliva contains a hallucinatory agent that causes those bitten by a Gremlin to believe they are someone else. Just who or what they think they are varies widely. But the overall effect is that the subject exhibits behavior wildly different than their usual. And are almost always very, very embarrassed by it. The rest of the population is mostly amused.

But who are these Gremlins? Where do they come from? Why do they keep biting us? I spent an evening with the Gremlins in hopes of learning some of the answers.

The following are Robin's interpretations of what the Gremlins allowed him to learn, which may or not be true and should in no way be taken as any kind of final word on the subject.

The hallucinatory effects of the Gremlin's bite was originally a defensive trait, such as the poison sacks on a toad. If a Gremlin found itself cornered by a larger predator, a single bite could make said predator believe it was a mouse, or a fish, allowing the Gremlin to escape.

As Gremlins and their culture evolved however, the effects of their bites became important to their society. They were representatives of entropy, the ever changing world. When other intelligent species entered their environment, the Gremlins noticed that many of them were too stagnant in their thinking. Or simply took themselves too seriously. They saw it as their duty to open these people's eyes to other ways of thinking, other possibilities. And to show them just how much fun it could be to let loose and be someone, or something else for a while.

Or simply take them down a peg.

Oh they also bite people because it's fun.

Re: Write Your Article [Finals]

[iruinenglish.livejournal.com]

Buffy actually didn't know what a Commentary really was, so she'd done what she could without, you know, looking it up at all.

The Undead, Fandom, and You
by Buffy Summers

Fandom seems to have some Issues. Anyone who hasn't noticed that needs a brain transplant, or new eyes, or something. The biggest issue seems to be dangerous things rising up and trying to kill people. (This is really a problem anywhere, but you tend to hear way more about it here, unlike some other paces that just repress repress repress.)

While there aren't many invasions going on these days, my understanding is that there used to be. Except these were invasions of things like dinosaurs, which is something you can't really guard against because it's dinosaurs. I mean, come on. Still, you have to be at least a little prepared just in case, or at least figure out what it is you need to do in a crisis, so this way if you suddenly see that your boyfriend/sibling/bff just turned into a zombie, it will be more automatic to act rather than standing there wibbling and getting you head eaten.

Research is always good. We have a really good library (NOT THAT ANYONE EVER GOES, but whatever) and there are books on everything and there's also Special Collections in case that's not enough. A couple friends of mine would say things like research is where the action's at. They lie like dogs.

The action is in killing things, which you should totally do. But only if you know what you're doing, because if you don't, you're going to get killed instead, and I'm not taking responsibility for your stupidity. Just remember that there are many kinds of vampires, demons, etc. etc. and make sure you're killing them the right way, because it sucks to find out you're fighting unkillable vampires in the middle of trying to kill them.

Finally, if you don't know what you're doing, STAY THE HELL INDOORS. GOD.

There was no ending, but Buffy felt she'd made more than enough comments.

Re: Write Your Article [Finals]

[gameknowsgame.livejournal.com]

QUALITY SHOW IS BALD-FACED LIE
By: Blair Waldorf

Bald's Leechbook (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grey%27s_anatomy) is, for reasons surpassing this reviewer's understanding, one of the more popular shows airing on television to date. Bald's focuses on the trials and tribulations of apprentice healers working in Sea Cattle's Bracing Sanitorium where patients theoretically go to recover from long-term illnesses. Said patients are successful provided that whatever ails them can only be cured by massive amounts of drinking, moping, and sex. If the patients are lucky, all three happen at once.

The protagonist of the show is Mary Deeth-Bald, who spends most of her time providing the viewer with voiceovers which stretch the metaphor of healing as symbolism of young adult life to the point where the viewer and anyone with a rudimentary grasp of the English language is prepared to unbalance all of their humours if it means bringing about a swift death and with it freedom from this abuse.

Romantic tension is provided by Dear Rick Herder - nicknamed "von Haircuttenstein" by Mary - who is presented as the soul mate to Mary even though he is married, a serial cheater, a sexual harraser, not nearly as cute as his smug smile would indicate, and also lives in an abandoned hermit hut. Which is to say the hut was so bad that even one who has sworn off humanity as a whole has vowed never to touch it again.

Then again, considering that Mary is so self-absorbed that she ignores the illness of her supposed friend Lizzie - who has spent the latest season having sex with the recently dug up corpse of her one and only true love with whom she has spent a total of five minutes of camera time with while the character is alive - it is possible that Mary and von Haircuttenstein deserve one another.

As for the aforementioned Lizzie storyline, the less said the better. Though much credit goes to Javier Bardem for managing to find ways to bring meaning to the role while keeping an ever-vigilant eye out to ensure that the Bald's showrunner does not violate the restraining order that he took out against her.

Though Bald's has self-proclaimed girl power and amazing acting to be found with the characters of Lang and Sailey, the latter are sadly not enough to make Bald's must-see-TV for anyone except the masochistic. This reviewer recommends doing something more pleasant on a Thursday evening, such as anything else at all.

0 out of 5 stars.

Re: Write Your Article [Finals]

[peace_n_war]

Warren was just fine with writing a criticism piece. Hell, one might say J.J.J. had been kind to him, assigning him to one. The topic, on the other hand, was something he'd never really bothered to touch on. But he gave it his best shot, regardless.

My Flaming Follicles
By Warren Peace

Normally, it's my trap that's on fire. But I was assigned to write about hair, and so the title is going to have some witty reference to it. Or something. Cope.

Since coming to Fandom, I'd like to say that I've noticed a few trends, so far as hairstyles go. As things stand, the only thing I've really noticed is that I have yet to bump into someone who has hair more messy than mine. And I'm fine with that. It means we're all unique, or something else warm and fuzzy like that. Interpret that line however makes you happy, reader.

The truth of the matter is, Fandom really doesn't have any one particular trend. I've seen people with insane pigtails, precisely manicured buzz-cuts, and something just shy of an afro. I've seen the 'too much product' look more times than I'd like to admit- and watch out, kids, that stuff is highly flammable- and I've seen the 'hasn't washed in a month' look a few times, as well.

If there's been any one trend that I can actually put a finger on, it would have to be the blondes. Yes, the color itself is a trend. I've seen it worn mostly by the bouncy type of girl who doesn't understand the definition of 'personal space,' which is possibly why it comes most readily to mind. I see yellow hair, I'm headed the other way. If you aren't a fan of hugs, I'd advise you to do the same.

Me, I'm a fan of the hair-in-the-eyes look. The one I can glare through in order to drive people the other way. Jameson's haircut isn't too bad, either, I guess. You could probably use it instead of a level if you want to make certain you've hung your shelving units on the wall straight. It takes a teacher with a good head on his shoulders to go for function over fashion when visiting the barber, and we should all respect his practicality.

Or something.

And for now, I'll just shut my flaming... Uh. No, I can't shut my follicles. I'm going to just shut my damn trap.

Re: Write Your Article [Finals]

[armybrat-lois.livejournal.com]

JOHN SHEPPARD'S HAIR: A FREAK ACCIDENT OF NATURE OR SENTIENT ALIEN BEING READY TO KILL US ALL?

By: Lois Lane

There are many mysteries in this great world we live in. Many questions that are too deep and complex to really get answers. What the hell is Dr. Pepper supposed to taste like? Why is it whenever you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume of your radio? Why is Chuck Bass such a douchebag? Why did I sleep with him on numerous occasions knowing that he was a douchebag? And, perhaps the most mysterious of them all, what in the hell is up with John Sheppard's hair?

Pointy, yet soft. Messy, yet manageable. There's a slight greasy aspect to it that makes you think he'd smell like Robert Pattinson but he actually smells quite nice. When caught in the light, John's hair has the ability to dazzle one into shock for a couple of seconds. Or maybe I was just distracted by something behind him. Whatever. Let's just go with dazzling for the sake of the article. I have heard rumors of a woman in New York City who had dazzling long blonde hair even more fantastical than John's but, like Bigfoot, I have found no tangible evidence that this person exists. Perhaps rumor of said girl was started by the alien beings that live in John's hair in order to distract from the truth?

Yes, alien beings.

There is no way a man's hair can be like that without some serious primping time. I'm talking hours here. I know John quite well and, I love the dude, but he's one of the laziest human beings I have ever met. No way he spends more than five seconds on his hair a day. Clearly there is something living in there that painstakingly makes sure each hair is standing up on end, possibly making a series of informational networks that have the ability to hear our thoughts. It moves, dammit, it MOVES! Take yesterday, for instance, where I was at the KKG meeting at the beach to spy on John and to totally not oogle half-naked men. I was watching John and I swear to Mittens something poked out of his hair and tried to grab at a Cheeto to eat. Okay, I'll admit it was kind of breezy at the time and I was momentarily distracted by Hannibal King without a shirt but I saw what I saw and I saw that! Or maybe it was just a Cheeto flying in the wind. I don't know.

You might be asking yourself why aliens would choose this teenage boy's hair to invade? Well, come on, look at him. Does he pose a threat to any of you? Yeah, didn't think so. This dude could walk right up to the White House, get in, have tea and cookies with Barack Obama without any security stopping him. And while he's having delicious tea and cookies the informational antennae that calls itself John's hair will be learning government secrets!

Now the real question is: Does John know his hair is an alien ready to take over the school or is he just a pawn in their game? We may never know for sure. I'm just saying though, we should watch our asses at graduation because that seems like prime taking-over-the-world time.

Wait--no, maybe his hair is haunted! Yes, that's why it's standing on end! His hair is scared by the spirits living in there! Someone call Ghostbusters!

Re: Write Your Article [Finals]

[death-of-hope.livejournal.com]

Anemone turned in a decent article entitled Year-Long Education: Changing the Future that looked at statistics from other Maryland schools that had adopted a year-round program, and the effect on test scores over a five-year period.

Re: Write Your Article [Finals]

[always-damp.livejournal.com]

Toby's final story was entitled: Worf Has No Soul, Trufax and detailed how Worf was like, totally not sad about finals.

Talk to Jonah [Finals]

[trustshisbarber.livejournal.com]

Your last chance to talk to him during class!

OOC [Finals]

[trustshisbarber.livejournal.com]

WOO! FINALS!

Re: OOC [Finals]

[the_merriest]

I can add Jonah to the fhightimes comm, if you want the class newspaper to go there?

(Or I can post it, if you throw it all together and e-mail it my way.)