fandomhigh | Food Appreciation, Class #4, Period 3

"What up? Welcome to class. Today we're going to talk about the most important and life-saving of food groups: fast food," Marshall said. His food pyramid may have been a bit skewed compared to everyone else's. "Fast food is there for you the morning after a long night of drinking, it's there for you when you've been on the road for hours, it's there for you when it's 2 a.m. and you don't feel like cooking for yourself. Clearly it's the greatest thing that's ever been invented. Even in ancient Rome they depended on food vendors for many of their meals since many didn't have kitchens of their own to cook in."

He paused.

"As a lawyer, I feel the need to tell you that I got that from Wikipedia and cannot be held responsible for the validity of that statement," Marshall said. "So if you share that fact at a party and get owned by some fast food guru then don't blame me."

"Fast food as we know it got started in the 1920's. The first burger franchise was started in Kansas with White Castle burgers. The burger joint is the most popular of fast food restaurants. Usually they serve burgers, fries, milkshakes, onion rings and some sort of fish and chicken sandwiches. These are your Burger Kings, McDonalds, Arby's, Roy Rogers, Checkers, Timmy Ho's, Wendy's and Sonic. There's more but those are the ones I can think of off the top of my head. All are good in their own way. Arby's has curly fries, Roy Rogers has the Gold Rush Chicken sandwich, Sonic is like an old school drive thru thing. It's all good."

"Then we've got fast food places that venture away from the burger thing. KFC, Taco Bell, Long John Silver's, Dairy Queen, Panda Express...that sort of stuff. For when you get bored of eating cow," he said. "Chicken, Americanized Mexican food, seafood, hot dogs, Chinese food. That sort of stuff. If you're a novice to fast food, I'd avoid going to Taco Bell if you've got plans for later on during the day. Just saying."

Because there was a chance you'd spend the rest of the afternoon in the bathroom.

"And, for the record, the holy grail of all fast food restaurants is when you find one of those KFC/Taco Bell/Pizza Hut hybrids," Marshall said. "Those are a gift from god."

"Okay, so, we can thank this island's freaky awesomeness for the wide array of fast food we have today," Marshall said, gesturing down at the table. There was everything. McDonald's, Taco Bell, Long John Silver's, White Castle, all sorts of ~~moddable~~ fast food. "I know for a fact if you want a White Castle burger you'd have to go to Ohio or New Jersey so I don't know how the lunch ladies got this."

They were mysterious people in that cafeteria.

"Anyways, eat up! There's all sorts of soft drinks you can mix together and don't forget to dip your french fries in your milkshakes," he said. "It's good."

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"Yeah, dude," Hurley said. "I've missed this stuff. So bad."

Harry raised his drumstick in mock salute. "Then go forth and conquer the bucket of chicken. Before someone else comes along and steals more of your drumsticks."

Hurley chuckled. "They technically aren't mine, dude. I'm willing to share. Some of it."

"You shared with me," Harry pointed out. "That counts"

"And," he added after a couple bites, "you're right. It's pretty great."

"See?" Hurley said. "And yet, I still got in trouble for sneaking pieces while working there."

"They were worried you were cutting into the profit margins," Harry said, trying to sound serious and as if he had any idea what he was talking about. He was probably failing.

"Yeah, actually," Hurley said. "They got on my case about napkins, too."

"Sounds like a lame job," Harry said. "Or maybe just lame bosses."

"Probably both," Hurley said. "But it helped get me money."

Harry nodded. "That's usually a plus."

"Yeah, more than you think, dude," Hurley said.

"Shh," Harry said. "I'm trying to enjoy my last few blissful months away from the real world where I'll need a job and money so I can live."

"Oh dude," Hurley said. "Do you graduate soon?"

"Yeah. Then it's off to the real world where everyone thinks you're a nutjob if you tell them you're a wizard."

"Dude, did I know that?" Hurley asked.

"That people think you're crazy if you tell them you're a wizard?" Yes, Harry is a smartass thank you for noticing. "Not unless you've tried it. That I'm a wizard? Dunno. Maybe?"

"Dude, that's awesome," Hurley said. "Shouldn't you have a... pointy hat or something?"

"I have a talking skull," Harry offered. "He'd object loudly to being used as a hat though."

"Dude, that's... also awesome," Hurley said. He hadn't meant to repeat himself.

"He certainly thinks so," Harry said, rolling his eyes. "He's useful though so I keep him around and supplied with romance novels."

"Your skull likes romance novels?" Hurley asked.

"My skull," Harry said, "is a pervert."

Food Appreciation, Class #4, Period 3

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