http://baskiceball.livejournal.com/ ([identity profile] baskiceball.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] fandomhigh2009-01-27 12:17 am
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Food Appreciation, Class #4, Period 3

"What up? Welcome to class. Today we're going to talk about the most important and life-saving of food groups: fast food," Marshall said. His food pyramid may have been a bit skewed compared to everyone else's. "Fast food is there for you the morning after a long night of drinking, it's there for you when you've been on the road for hours, it's there for you when it's 2 a.m. and you don't feel like cooking for yourself. Clearly it's the greatest thing that's ever been invented. Even in ancient Rome they depended on food vendors for many of their meals since many didn't have kitchens of their own to cook in."

He paused.

"As a lawyer, I feel the need to tell you that I got that from Wikipedia and cannot be held responsible for the validity of that statement," Marshall said. "So if you share that fact at a party and get owned by some fast food guru then don't blame me."



"Fast food as we know it got started in the 1920's. The first burger franchise was started in Kansas with White Castle burgers. The burger joint is the most popular of fast food restaurants. Usually they serve burgers, fries, milkshakes, onion rings and some sort of fish and chicken sandwiches. These are your Burger Kings, McDonalds, Arby's, Roy Rogers, Checkers, Timmy Ho's, Wendy's and Sonic. There's more but those are the ones I can think of off the top of my head. All are good in their own way. Arby's has curly fries, Roy Rogers has the Gold Rush Chicken sandwich, Sonic is like an old school drive thru thing. It's all good."

"Then we've got fast food places that venture away from the burger thing. KFC, Taco Bell, Long John Silver's, Dairy Queen, Panda Express...that sort of stuff. For when you get bored of eating cow," he said. "Chicken, Americanized Mexican food, seafood, hot dogs, Chinese food. That sort of stuff. If you're a novice to fast food, I'd avoid going to Taco Bell if you've got plans for later on during the day. Just saying."

Because there was a chance you'd spend the rest of the afternoon in the bathroom.

"And, for the record, the holy grail of all fast food restaurants is when you find one of those KFC/Taco Bell/Pizza Hut hybrids," Marshall said. "Those are a gift from god."

"Okay, so, we can thank this island's freaky awesomeness for the wide array of fast food we have today," Marshall said, gesturing down at the table. There was everything. McDonald's, Taco Bell, Long John Silver's, White Castle, all sorts of moddable fast food. "I know for a fact if you want a White Castle burger you'd have to go to Ohio or New Jersey so I don't know how the lunch ladies got this."

They were mysterious people in that cafeteria.

"Anyways, eat up! There's all sorts of soft drinks you can mix together and don't forget to dip your french fries in your milkshakes," he said. "It's good."

Re: Eat food!

[identity profile] kestrelswolf.livejournal.com 2009-01-27 06:06 pm (UTC)(link)
Firekeeper nodded and reached for a Dairy Queen hamburger, giving it one more wary sniff before taking a bite.

"There is something..." she didn't know the human word for 'artificial' "not-real, about this meat."
lovemykilt: (Default)

Re: Eat food!

[personal profile] lovemykilt 2009-01-27 06:18 pm (UTC)(link)
". . . Well, it might be kangaroo or ostrich instead of cow?"

Re: Eat food!

[identity profile] kestrelswolf.livejournal.com 2009-01-27 06:40 pm (UTC)(link)
"No, is cow," Firekeeper shook her head. "But is something else, also. A strange taste."
lovemykilt: (Default)

Re: Eat food!

[personal profile] lovemykilt 2009-01-27 06:58 pm (UTC)(link)
". . . Ketchup?"

Re: Eat food!

[identity profile] kestrelswolf.livejournal.com 2009-01-27 07:15 pm (UTC)(link)
"Perhaps," Firekeeper admitted. "What is?"
lovemykilt: (Default)

Re: Eat food!

[personal profile] lovemykilt 2009-01-27 07:26 pm (UTC)(link)
"Tomato paste. With, like, spices and vinegar and stuff."

Re: Eat food!

[identity profile] kestrelswolf.livejournal.com 2009-01-27 07:35 pm (UTC)(link)
"Ah," Firekeeper nodded, taking another careful bite. "That taste is there, but something else also. In the meat."
lovemykilt: (Default)

Re: Eat food!

[personal profile] lovemykilt 2009-01-27 07:38 pm (UTC)(link)
"Might be more spices. Or it's the genetic modifications they make to the cows so they'll grow up and get fat faster."

Re: Eat food!

[identity profile] kestrelswolf.livejournal.com 2009-01-27 07:45 pm (UTC)(link)
"Genetic modifications?" Firekeeper repeated the unknown words carefully. "I am not understanding. Explain."
lovemykilt: (Default)

Re: Eat food!

[personal profile] lovemykilt 2009-01-27 08:03 pm (UTC)(link)
"Uh." How the hell did someone explain that? "Do you know what steroids are?"

Re: Eat food!

[identity profile] kestrelswolf.livejournal.com 2009-01-27 08:06 pm (UTC)(link)
Explaining bizarre human things is just part and parcel of talking to Firekeeper, really.

"No?"
lovemykilt: (Default)

Re: Eat food!

[personal profile] lovemykilt 2009-01-27 08:30 pm (UTC)(link)
". . . Drugs?"

Re: Eat food!

[identity profile] kestrelswolf.livejournal.com 2009-01-28 12:02 am (UTC)(link)
Firekeeper's response to that was to bare her teeth in a snarl. "Yes. Have been given these. Maked me sleep when I was not wishing to." Now she was really giving the burger a suspicious look.
lovemykilt: (dude)

Re: Eat food!

[personal profile] lovemykilt 2009-01-28 12:04 am (UTC)(link)
"Yeah, there's those kinds of drugs," Priestly said. "There's also drugs that make you really, really awake or drugs that make you see things that aren't there or drugs that just make you relax when you're too tense or make pain go away or whatever. Steroids are drugs that make you get really big and really strong."

Re: Eat food!

[identity profile] kestrelswolf.livejournal.com 2009-01-28 12:21 am (UTC)(link)
"So they gived the cows these drugs?" Firekeeper guessed.
lovemykilt: (Default)

Re: Eat food!

[personal profile] lovemykilt 2009-01-28 01:08 am (UTC)(link)
"Probably."