fandomhigh | History in Living Colour - Friday, Period 3 (Week 8)

"Listen closely," the Doctor said once everyone had gathered inside the Danger Shop that looked like a classroom, "because this could be the most important history lesson you'll ever learn. People make mistakes. People in power make even bigger mistakes. Sometimes they're small, insignificant, and sometimes they affect so many people you can't even count them all yourself. Sometimes the changes are for the better, but mostly you'll find that people's mistakes cost lives and livelihood. Hindsight is 20-20, and if you're good enough you can learn from the past, but even then you won't be able to expect some of the horrible things that people - not just humans - can do to each other.

To use an example from human history, let's look at the 16th century. To combat the rise of religious unorthodoxy, the Pope - that's the leader of the Roman Catholic Church - gave Cardinal Ximinez of Spain leave to move without let or hindrance throughout the land, in a reign of violence, terror and torture that made a smashing film and comedy sketch. The people of Europe didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition."

Three Cardinal-looking men in red outfits with silly hats burst into the room from a door off to the side. "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!"

The Doctor looked confused. "What?"

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Warren was going to... Stare.

Yes, staring sounded like it was a good option, at this point.

"If we tell them that we expected them, will that make them leave again?" Alice asked in a low whisper.

"I'm willing to bet," Warren mused, "that they'd decide that they've messed it all up, and they'll want to take it from the very top."

"And when they try," Alice grinned, "then we begin discussing loudly, 'my goodness, do you know what I expect right at this moment? The Spanish Inquisition.'"

That one nearly got something that might have vaguely resembled a laugh out of Warren.

Almost.

"And then we'll go on to explain how, amongst their weaponry, they have key elements such as fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency. Much to their dismay."

"And that none of that weaponry is terribly surprising," Alice sighed. "That they should wait and come in again when they have discovered something that is. Or that they are secretly French. No one ever suspects the French Inquisition, largely because there isn't one."

"Or a Lithuanian Inquisition." Warren agreed, nodding solemnly. "That would really catch everyone off-guard. Especially if their key weapons were something like the elements of joy, indigestion, and gadolinium."

Alice laughed. "I must say, I certainly didn't expect that. The Lithuanians would catch me entirely unprepared. Far more so than their Spanish counterparts."

"And that is why I have to say this particular Spanish Inquisition is absolutely doomed. The Lithuanians are going to just breeze into Spain with their gadolinium, and they'll take over while these goons are out trying to do... Whatever it is they're doing."

Warren just had this hunch on that, okay?

"Surprise us," Alice said. "Do the French know that the Lithuanians have all of their gadolinium? Whatever shall the French do, without any?"

History in Living Colour - Friday, Period 3 (Week 8)

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