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fandomhigh2008-10-06 08:28 am
berserkerminsc.livejournal.com) wrote in fandomhigh2008-10-06 08:28 am
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Care for Magical Creatures; Period One. [ 10/06 ]
Today, the students would come in to find themselves back in the classroom that had been set up in the danger shop at the beginning of the semester, with the exception of four darkened arch-way doors behind Minsc as he stood grinning proudly at his students.
"Good morning!" he greeted them in his usual brusque cheer. "Today we discuss something very important, as we have in every other class, so please to be paying good attention, or else I may assume you are not as attached to your arms and legs and delicate soft squishy bits inside as you might lead on to be!"
"Some of you may not know this," Minsc started, "but before I came here to teach, I was a mercenary! Now, some mercenaries, like myself, do it for the fun and the glory of justice! But other mercenaries do it for money. Some mercenaries are lucky enough to have a combination of both. Maybe you've earned in hard-working capitalistic ventures! Or maybe you are from a rich family, or marry into one, or maybe you are just one lucky son of a gnoll, but either way, sometimes, you have..."
He paused dramatically.
"Treasure! I'd easily challenge any of you in a heartbeat to admit that that word does not get that heart beating at least a little faster. People, in general, as a rule, tend to love their treasure! That is why it is so important to keep a treasure safe and sound. Everybody wants a little treasure to themselves! But padlocks get rusty and banks are fallible and prone to robbery. But a magical creature! Now there's an idea! Magical creatures are exceptionally good at guarding treasure, especially if it's magical treasure, so allow me to go over with you some very popular magical creatures used to guard treasure, so they you know what to expect should you want one for your treasury. Or should you encounter one in acquiring someone else's!"
"Everyone has heard of a guard dog, yes? Well, a cerberus is the best kind of guard dog there is! A great big hound, a cerberus has three heads in which to watch and guard your treasure and bite off things from those who dare to take it! They are so effective that they got their start guarding underworlds! Of course, if you're from where I'm from and you know how many ghosties and ghoulies leak out of the underworld, that's not as impressive, but I'm sure in other realms, they do quite well at keeping everyone in and everyone who isn't supposed to be there out! After all, not only does it have three ugly heads, but it has poisonous saliva and poops snakes! However, a cerberus cannot be bested if one is truly strong and brave and they do have two considerable weakness: music and honeycakes! Bring a lullaby and a snack, and the mighty cerberus could be reduced to an adorable, lovable, deadly three headed puppy!"
"If you're looking for something a bit less visceral than a cerberus, perhaps what you'd like guarding your treasure is a sphinx, the wise man's guardian! These creatures, who are technically chimeras, which we'll be discussing later in the semester, consists of a body of a lion and the head of a human, often with hawkish elements to the body as well. They are strong figures and typically female, and they are certainly forces to be reckoned with! They may seem very calm and cool at first, but anger or upset them or fail to answer their riddles, watch out! They are fierce and deadly! And unlike the cerberus, they have no known, easy weaknesses. There is but one way to get past of sphinx, and that is..." Minsc paused to knock on his head, which made a surprisingly dense sound. And a clattering, because he knocked with his armoured gloves still on. "...your brain! Knowledge is power to the sphinx, and no one can get past them alive unless they answer a riddle! Very good if you know the answer! Very bad if you do not! They know countless riddles but there is one that is the most popular, and it goes something like this: Which creature in the morning goes on four feet, at noon on two, and in the evening upon three? Anyone who comes to me after class with with the answer gets extra credit! But do not worry! If you do not get it right, I will not strangle and eat you like the sphinx would!"
"If the sphinx can be considered the wise man's guard, then the will-o'-the-wisps is the tricker's guard! Usually found only in thickly forested or swampy areas, the will-o'-the-wisps are an interesting way to guard your treasure by making sure no one ever finds it in the first place! These creatures appear, at first, to be little more than large balls of colourful, blinking lights, but upon closer inspection, you would discover that they are actually glowing fairy-like creatures. They are exceptionally good at luring men to them, and then leading them into great peril, such as drowning in a bog or into the waiting mouth of hungry creatures! Their call is so strong and their light so welcoming and inviting that even a person who knows well what they are will find it difficult to keep away from them! They are known, however, to be very good at marking treasure. But, as soon as you get near to where they hover over the prize, that is when they start to mess with your mind and lead you astray! As long as their fires shine or you lack the ability to outright deny to follow them, the treasure is safe and snug!"
"Finally, and I say finally because I am only covering these four because it would take much, much too long to go over every possibility, we have the ever popular dragon. A dragon is unparalleled in two things: guarding treasure and taking up a lot of space! But one thing that many people do not realize are that dragons guard more than just treasure! They also guard wisdom and knowledge deeper than any other creature in any realm I can think of, except, of course, giant miniature space hamsters! It is nary impossible to outwit a dragon, but a dragon loves when a person knows just the right question to ask them, especially if you are audacious and brave enough to ask it in the first place! They are bargainers, those dragons, and are excellent for guarding your treasure against stupid people, but will likely give some of it away if people prove themselves in the sharp-sighted eyes of the dragon. There are also a great, great variety of dragons, which we will discuss further later in the class, but it is always good to know what kind of dragon you are encountering when dealing with a horde of treasure: some dragons, for example, have quite the taste for young virgins, but others would be highly offended by the offer of such purity to be destroyed. Tread lightly! Dragons do not like an imbecile!"
Minsc paused a moment to clear his throat, as he had been talking quite a lot.
"Now!" he started back up again. "I know what you're thinking! You are probably thinking at me, 'But Sir Minsc! What good is all this knowledge about creatures that can guard treasure....without treasure?' And I would say to you, 'That is right!' That is why, today, that is what we will be doing! Finding our treasure! Behind me are four different doors, each leading into a different place for you to explore. Now, these guardians are not light business, so please partner up before going in and investigating and searching for your treasure! Be careful, remember to pick your weapons and armour carefully, and go forth and adventure! And remember what we discussed when and if you should encounter any of these creatures as an obstacle between yourself and your spoils!"
[[please wait for the OCD is up! Note the OOC comments on the threads and sorry for the tl;dr! ]]
[[ Class Syllabus and Roster ]]
"Good morning!" he greeted them in his usual brusque cheer. "Today we discuss something very important, as we have in every other class, so please to be paying good attention, or else I may assume you are not as attached to your arms and legs and delicate soft squishy bits inside as you might lead on to be!"
"Some of you may not know this," Minsc started, "but before I came here to teach, I was a mercenary! Now, some mercenaries, like myself, do it for the fun and the glory of justice! But other mercenaries do it for money. Some mercenaries are lucky enough to have a combination of both. Maybe you've earned in hard-working capitalistic ventures! Or maybe you are from a rich family, or marry into one, or maybe you are just one lucky son of a gnoll, but either way, sometimes, you have..."
He paused dramatically.
"Treasure! I'd easily challenge any of you in a heartbeat to admit that that word does not get that heart beating at least a little faster. People, in general, as a rule, tend to love their treasure! That is why it is so important to keep a treasure safe and sound. Everybody wants a little treasure to themselves! But padlocks get rusty and banks are fallible and prone to robbery. But a magical creature! Now there's an idea! Magical creatures are exceptionally good at guarding treasure, especially if it's magical treasure, so allow me to go over with you some very popular magical creatures used to guard treasure, so they you know what to expect should you want one for your treasury. Or should you encounter one in acquiring someone else's!"
"Everyone has heard of a guard dog, yes? Well, a cerberus is the best kind of guard dog there is! A great big hound, a cerberus has three heads in which to watch and guard your treasure and bite off things from those who dare to take it! They are so effective that they got their start guarding underworlds! Of course, if you're from where I'm from and you know how many ghosties and ghoulies leak out of the underworld, that's not as impressive, but I'm sure in other realms, they do quite well at keeping everyone in and everyone who isn't supposed to be there out! After all, not only does it have three ugly heads, but it has poisonous saliva and poops snakes! However, a cerberus cannot be bested if one is truly strong and brave and they do have two considerable weakness: music and honeycakes! Bring a lullaby and a snack, and the mighty cerberus could be reduced to an adorable, lovable, deadly three headed puppy!"
"If you're looking for something a bit less visceral than a cerberus, perhaps what you'd like guarding your treasure is a sphinx, the wise man's guardian! These creatures, who are technically chimeras, which we'll be discussing later in the semester, consists of a body of a lion and the head of a human, often with hawkish elements to the body as well. They are strong figures and typically female, and they are certainly forces to be reckoned with! They may seem very calm and cool at first, but anger or upset them or fail to answer their riddles, watch out! They are fierce and deadly! And unlike the cerberus, they have no known, easy weaknesses. There is but one way to get past of sphinx, and that is..." Minsc paused to knock on his head, which made a surprisingly dense sound. And a clattering, because he knocked with his armoured gloves still on. "...your brain! Knowledge is power to the sphinx, and no one can get past them alive unless they answer a riddle! Very good if you know the answer! Very bad if you do not! They know countless riddles but there is one that is the most popular, and it goes something like this: Which creature in the morning goes on four feet, at noon on two, and in the evening upon three? Anyone who comes to me after class with with the answer gets extra credit! But do not worry! If you do not get it right, I will not strangle and eat you like the sphinx would!"
"If the sphinx can be considered the wise man's guard, then the will-o'-the-wisps is the tricker's guard! Usually found only in thickly forested or swampy areas, the will-o'-the-wisps are an interesting way to guard your treasure by making sure no one ever finds it in the first place! These creatures appear, at first, to be little more than large balls of colourful, blinking lights, but upon closer inspection, you would discover that they are actually glowing fairy-like creatures. They are exceptionally good at luring men to them, and then leading them into great peril, such as drowning in a bog or into the waiting mouth of hungry creatures! Their call is so strong and their light so welcoming and inviting that even a person who knows well what they are will find it difficult to keep away from them! They are known, however, to be very good at marking treasure. But, as soon as you get near to where they hover over the prize, that is when they start to mess with your mind and lead you astray! As long as their fires shine or you lack the ability to outright deny to follow them, the treasure is safe and snug!"
"Finally, and I say finally because I am only covering these four because it would take much, much too long to go over every possibility, we have the ever popular dragon. A dragon is unparalleled in two things: guarding treasure and taking up a lot of space! But one thing that many people do not realize are that dragons guard more than just treasure! They also guard wisdom and knowledge deeper than any other creature in any realm I can think of, except, of course, giant miniature space hamsters! It is nary impossible to outwit a dragon, but a dragon loves when a person knows just the right question to ask them, especially if you are audacious and brave enough to ask it in the first place! They are bargainers, those dragons, and are excellent for guarding your treasure against stupid people, but will likely give some of it away if people prove themselves in the sharp-sighted eyes of the dragon. There are also a great, great variety of dragons, which we will discuss further later in the class, but it is always good to know what kind of dragon you are encountering when dealing with a horde of treasure: some dragons, for example, have quite the taste for young virgins, but others would be highly offended by the offer of such purity to be destroyed. Tread lightly! Dragons do not like an imbecile!"
Minsc paused a moment to clear his throat, as he had been talking quite a lot.
"Now!" he started back up again. "I know what you're thinking! You are probably thinking at me, 'But Sir Minsc! What good is all this knowledge about creatures that can guard treasure....without treasure?' And I would say to you, 'That is right!' That is why, today, that is what we will be doing! Finding our treasure! Behind me are four different doors, each leading into a different place for you to explore. Now, these guardians are not light business, so please partner up before going in and investigating and searching for your treasure! Be careful, remember to pick your weapons and armour carefully, and go forth and adventure! And remember what we discussed when and if you should encounter any of these creatures as an obstacle between yourself and your spoils!"
[[
[[ Class Syllabus and Roster ]]
Re: Talk to the TAs -- 10/06
but it's 5 am and I'm sleepy so he did it in a really boring way.