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fandomhigh2008-08-18 12:29 am
mouthy-merc.livejournal.com) wrote in fandomhigh2008-08-18 12:29 am
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How to Keep Your Neck in Modeling: A Mercenary's Guide to Fashion - Fifth Period - 08/18
When the class walked in that morning there was no teacher. None. Zip. Zero.
Niet.
Nada.
(I could go on like that forever.)
But, thankfully, he would not. Instead there was a bright flash of light and--
A very confused looking mutant appeared next to the usual teacher. Cable battled the confusion fiendishly, and it didn't hold for more than a few seconds. "Good morning, class..." he said, then shot a look sideways. "Wade."
Deadpool shot him a look. "Don't undermine my authority with my first name!" Because, you know, he had such authority.
"Keeping with last week's theme, we'll be studying the elusive metrosexual. I have, at great personal risk, captured one for you all to examine."
"Captured?" Nate asked, dryly. He was wearing jeans. And a turtleneck. "I'm not a metrosexual."
Deadpool carried on as if he hadn't spoken. "Note the perfectly coiffed hair, the neatly trimmed and manicured nails, the turtleneck sweater despite it being summer..."
"As opposed to pyjamas," Cable deadpanned, eyeing the class with equal dryness.
That just got him a glare that promised a bullet to the brainpan.
"The designer jeans," He continued. "The feminine cocking of his hips as he stands."
A beat.
"Although we could just blame the artist for that one..."
"What Wade is trying to say is that you can dress well and still beat him in a fight," Cable translated. "Thank you..."
"And what Nathan is trying to say is that acting like a girl doesn't make you any less of a man in anyone's eyes." He snickered. "You get facials."
He was twelve.
"Not really," Cable said, crossing his arms and shooting Wade an amused look that was downright stoic. "It's basic hygiene; clothes should generally be practical. I have my back to deal with." His big, half-metal, heavy-looking back.
"Translation: WOMAN!"
Cable just smiled at the class. "Don't mind him, he's overcompensating," he said, kindly. "The fashion isn't what's important here. I hope you all realize that..." He glanced sideways again. "...Did you get those toys for Jan...?"
Deadpool glared more. "Next time you drag me along to some big important speech for the U.N., I'm going to undermine you the whole time."
"I trust you will," he replied. "In the interest of this class, would any of you have any ideas for a new uniform...?" Okay, there were certain things about Providence he might have missed.
"Today was supposed to be a final..." Deadpool sighed. "Fine, fine. You all design something for Miss PrissyPants here. Consider that the final for the class."
"Thank you," Cable finished, and nodded at the class. "That'll be all. So, about Jan..."
Niet.
Nada.
(I could go on like that forever.)
But, thankfully, he would not. Instead there was a bright flash of light and--
A very confused looking mutant appeared next to the usual teacher. Cable battled the confusion fiendishly, and it didn't hold for more than a few seconds. "Good morning, class..." he said, then shot a look sideways. "Wade."
Deadpool shot him a look. "Don't undermine my authority with my first name!" Because, you know, he had such authority.
"Keeping with last week's theme, we'll be studying the elusive metrosexual. I have, at great personal risk, captured one for you all to examine."
"Captured?" Nate asked, dryly. He was wearing jeans. And a turtleneck. "I'm not a metrosexual."
Deadpool carried on as if he hadn't spoken. "Note the perfectly coiffed hair, the neatly trimmed and manicured nails, the turtleneck sweater despite it being summer..."
"As opposed to pyjamas," Cable deadpanned, eyeing the class with equal dryness.
That just got him a glare that promised a bullet to the brainpan.
"The designer jeans," He continued. "The feminine cocking of his hips as he stands."
A beat.
"Although we could just blame the artist for that one..."
"What Wade is trying to say is that you can dress well and still beat him in a fight," Cable translated. "Thank you..."
"And what Nathan is trying to say is that acting like a girl doesn't make you any less of a man in anyone's eyes." He snickered. "You get facials."
He was twelve.
"Not really," Cable said, crossing his arms and shooting Wade an amused look that was downright stoic. "It's basic hygiene; clothes should generally be practical. I have my back to deal with." His big, half-metal, heavy-looking back.
"Translation: WOMAN!"
Cable just smiled at the class. "Don't mind him, he's overcompensating," he said, kindly. "The fashion isn't what's important here. I hope you all realize that..." He glanced sideways again. "...Did you get those toys for Jan...?"
Deadpool glared more. "Next time you drag me along to some big important speech for the U.N., I'm going to undermine you the whole time."
"I trust you will," he replied. "In the interest of this class, would any of you have any ideas for a new uniform...?" Okay, there were certain things about Providence he might have missed.
"Today was supposed to be a final..." Deadpool sighed. "Fine, fine. You all design something for Miss PrissyPants here. Consider that the final for the class."
"Thank you," Cable finished, and nodded at the class. "That'll be all. So, about Jan..."
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