fandomhigh | Merc'ing 101: How to Make It as a Mercenary and Still Stay in One Piece, Wed 7/30

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Merc'ing 101: How to Make It as a Mercenary and Still Stay in One Piece, Wed 7/30

Murdock was once again in the Danger Shop, awaiting his students. After they'd arrived, he flicked on the program, and a countryside landscape appeared, much like the one from last week. But this had a few differences; it wasn't gentle hills of open grassland and it was flat. A treeline denoting the start of a large forest butted up against the field.

"Fandom's an interesting place," he started speaking as he strolled around. "Full of all kinds of interesting people from far-off worlds, different realities and universes. Somewhere out there," he pointed upward, "there's a universe that's constantly at war. Or at least it seems that way from what I've read so far."

"Numerous races make up this universe, and they have been at war with each other since the beginning of time. Elves, dwarves, humans, undead, ogres, orcs..." he stopped pacing long to face his students for a brief moment, "sometimes they even fight against their own kind, dependin' upon the race."

"Rarely, very rarely, do they team up and fight against a greater foe. But they will if the threat is great enough. Some refuse to fight on the same side with a certain race, no matter what. Particular groups of humans, like some of the religious sects," he shook his head, "just won't work with undead, for example."

"Interestingly," he tapped a finger against his lips as if he were thinking something over, "mercenary troops are found here too. Various bands of hired-for-pay men, commonly known as the 'Dogs of War', though there are different regiments within that larger grouping."

"Today," he grinned slightly, "we'll be part of one of those regiments, called upon by The Empire and The High Elf kingdom to stand against a combined force of Beastmen and Skaven. Won't it be fun!"

(the usual hoopla: yep! more stuff in ocd. welcome to the class of linky doom! the ones in the main post give you actual info about the races, the ones in the ocd give a few pics of some of what these things look like. ~~wait til it's up, plz.~~ have at!)

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Yo.

JACK BURTON.

Anemone

Bender

Rikku

Eat, drink and be merry while you ignore Murdock.

Or, you know, actually pay attention to what he's saying.

"So before the hordes rain down on us, (he wasn't serious when he said 'hordes' was he?) a few things you might wanna know. The
Skaven (http://www.games-workshop.com/gws/content/article.jsp?categoryId=cat50036&aId=2500004) are large, humanoid rat-men. A little shorter than your average human, but they walk on two legs, and are just as sentient. They can fight well enough, but their main advantage lies in numbers. There are a lot of them. They can easily overrun another army just through attrition. It's not a pretty sight."

"The Beastmen (http://www.games-workshop.com/gws/content/article.jsp?categoryId=cat1130003&aId=2500008) are mutated, half animals, half men. They're said to serve Chaos," he waved a hand absently, muttering 'whatever that means' and continued, "and they are utterly ruthless in battle. Neither the Skaven or the Beastmen take prisoners. They just prefer to slaughter everyone outright."

"On the opposite side, the High Elves and The Empire. The Empire (http://www.games-workshop.com/gws/content/article.jsp?categoryId=cat210010&aId=1900002) are humans, not that much different than those here on Earth. Except that they've been fighting for an extremely long time and are exceptionally good at. The High Elves (http://www.games-workshop.com/gws/content/article.jsp?categoryId=cat40028&aId=2100004)," he paused and gave them all a serious look, "please don't just call them 'Elves', they won't like it and will probably smack you for it. That's probably because not only do they have a bit of a... reputation to upkeep, but there are two other factions of elves in this universe. Wood Elves, which sounds pretty self-explanatory and Dark Elves." He paused briefly, then shook his head, "Yah, they don't sound terribly nice to me either."

"You can choose to fight for either The Empire or The High Elves, moving freely among them, but the program..." he fidgeted just a little, "may randomly project you as human or elf to the simulated warriors. So...ah...you might find yourself being viewed as human in the midst of a High Elf troop and they," another tiny squirm,

"Anyway!" He grinned as if there was absolutely nothing wrong with today's simulation at all whatsoever, thank you, "It should certainly be a worthwhile learning experience."

Oooh, don't they look fugly!

The first line of defense of The Empire and the High Elf armies surged out of the woods, breaking cover as the Beastmen and Skaven came into view. There was much clanging of metal on metal, screeches of animal noises, wild battle cries as the forces met in the middle of the field.

Edited 2008-07-30 03:52 (UTC)

Mod it! There are various machines of war scattered about, just keep in mind that most require at least a two-man crew to operate. Charge in at random, or teamup; choose any weapon you want. You won't suffer any injury thanks to the safeties of the Danger Shop.

Also, Murdock ran into a 'slight' problem when he was programming the Danger Shop, and as a result, the class will alternate randomly between being viewed as elf or human by the simulated warriors. This is totally moddable as to how you want them to appear, if at all, and entirely optional. If you choose to play with it, however, keep in mind...

That you will get a stinging whack (nothing permanent, just an 'ouch, what was that for?' sort of thing) with the flat of a sword blade ~~Jack!~~ while in human 'mode' if you taunt and/or annoy a High Elf enough.

Seriously, no sense of humor on these guys AT ALL.

Edited 2008-07-30 04:05 (UTC)

Jack pinged in ~~in probably the wrong place but hey it's nearly dawn so it happens~~ and appeared as an elf. ~~Yes, this is an elf icon just deal m'kay~~. Jack started rifling through the weapons.

"Is that a rocket powered chainsaw gun?" Naw, couldn't be.

Murdock glanced over ~~pinging in from wherever since his mun apparently didn't have any brain cells left last night, so just go with it~~ at Jack and the odd weapon. "Uh...that's what it looks like, yah." He grinned, ~~he can be elfish too, no?~~ "Go with it man!"

Please don't kill yourself. Murdock was very thankful for the Shop's safety features.

Jack grinned, took careful aim (http://www.militaryphotos.net/forums/showthread.php?t=66428), and fired (http://i162.photobucket.com/albums/t276/Athelis/RocketChainsaw.jpg) at the advancing horde. The resulting recoil sent him into a cadre of elves...and turned him human.

"...uh oh."

Murdock let out a sigh and decided to just watch. This was probably not going to turn out well. Best to let the kid figure out on his own.

Either that, or he just had a twisted sense of humor and enjoyed watching Jack mess himself up.

"Hey! I'm on your siiiiide!" he ~~flailed~~ wailed as the elves started thwapping him.

[OOC: Here. (http://www.militaryphotos.net/forums/showpost.php?p=2812800&postcount=66) Have a model (http://www.militaryphotos.net/forums/showpost.php?p=3084769&postcount=80).

Hand, meet face. He just knew somebody was going to get it. "Jack! Just whack those pasty-faces back!"

This of course, while Murdock himself was standing in the midst of a group of High Elves, looking very human.

THWUMP!

"Ow! Heyyy..."

"Hey!" Thwap. "Stop!" Thwap. "Quiddit!" Thwap.

The RPC gun was getting more use as an elf-thwapper than as a chucker of motorized chaindeath.

"Fine! Take this!" There was an awesome sound of the Rrrrnrnrrnrnrnrrnrnrnnrrrrrnrrrr of a chainsaw mixed with the FwoooPPPOOSSSSHHHH sound of a rocket as Elves became half-elves. And quarter-elves.

[I. Love. Anemone. And. Rikku. Seriously, they could take over the world. Also? Managed to use a sniper rifle as a bat and took out 8 people on a snipers-only Halo game. Didn't manage to kill anyone with bullets, though. I knows alternate weaponing. XD ]

The noise made Murdock look over and he made a disgusted face. "Ooh, that's going to leave a stain."

He had successfully gone through a sizeable chunk of Skaven and was now whacking away at some High Elves.

What? He does have an 'aggressive cycle', you know. Could be that.

...Jack was hoping that this would come out with the wash as he fired another volley at everything that was trying to make him dead. The plan was working....until... they... decided to all bumrush him.

"Uh oh..." Jack looked for a place to ~~hide~~ retreat, walking backwards while firing as fast as he could. "I don't know who's on my side anymore!"

[Co-op play. Gave the controller to my one friend, she could move the Spartan, but couldn't shoot. Gave it to my other friend, she could shoot, but couldn't move. Solution? SHARE BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE. It was hilariously awful.]

Bender was a short distance away from the clash of the shield wall, ducking down and then up again as he fired crossbow bolts into the crush and tried to keep several bodies between himself and the sharp pointed bad guys and sharper and pointier weapons.

"This is bo-" and Bender dropped to the ground, just ahead of an arquebusier's shot. He needed a new plan.

[And I don't know the game, so hopefully not totally inappropriate weapons moddage yay?]

He had a feeling something like that would happen, so Murdock watched with interest to see what Bender would do next.

Lying on the ground, Bender was jarred and knocked along by the passage of many feet; several of which - friend or foe - now had injured ankles. He grabbed at a shield - complete with skewered spear and Skaven still attached - as well a few less practical souvenirs from nearby bodies.

The centre of battle had drifted away from him, and Bender got to his feet, looking for something that could cause more damage. Something rockety, maybe?

"Hey," Murdock yelled out at him, "there's one of those things like Jack has not far from ya!"

Meanwhile, Murdock was running among the Beastmen, brandishing a sword and hacking as he went. Shouts of 'Engarde!' and 'Avast' followed in his wake.

Rikku was looking around for 'splodies.

There had to be splodies around here somewhere, right?

"Why do people always assume the non-human looking ones are wrong?" Anemone huffed as she started looking around for a weapon. "I'd kill for an LFO right now. Lasers and missiles and bombs would settle BOTH sides."

Speak of the devil.... Anemone clambered atop a canon and peered into the barrel. "So! How do I make this thing boom?"

"I have some bombs," Rikku offered. "Maybe we team up and take everyone else out."

Even their classmates. Hey, war was hell, right?

"I think that needs some gunpowder. Maybe we spike it with something fancier?"

"Works for me!" Anemone said cheerfully. "We're only going to get paid pretend-money anyway, since we're pretend mercenaries, we might as well end the war for good!" By killing ALL the imaginary people, but that was beside the point. The planet would probably thank them.

Jumping off the top of the canon, Anemone went in search of gunpowder and canonballs. "Can we make the ammo shoot flames or something? That might be cool."

Rikku was digging through her pouch. "If we spike the gunpowder with a Fire Gem, I bet something would catch on fire," she said cheerfully. "I'm not sure what part, but that seems like a fun thing to find out, doesn't it?"

That was the whole fun of it. Hoping that whatever blew up wasn't you.

"If they have gunpowder over there, then that'll catch on fire too!" Anemone chirped, lugging over some of the required equipment. "Found some! I wish we had jet fuel. Andrew and I did killer damage with a container of jet fuel, once."

"You had jet fuel?" Rikku stared. "Oh, man. No fair! I bet that went up in a huge fireball!"

She was fishing through her pouch again. "I'm out of Dark Matter, but that kinda might break things anyway, so it's probably good that I am," she decided. "Kinda wish we had some, like. C-4? To attach to the canon balls?"

Just to kick the death count up a little.

"Lasers," Anemone said sadly, shaking her head. "I miss having lasers. It made things so nice and tidy."

"C-4? I've never gotten to use that." She leaned over, watching Rikku work. "Ino and I were considering making an exploding pie for Durden's class, would that work?"

"Lasers, really?" Rikku said, shaking her head. "I haven't gotten to play with those. The C-4 we learned last year in Aly's class, the one about blowing things up. So great. I liked Tyler's class, we got to blow things up and learn about anarchy. Is that a good exploding pie or a mean kinda one?"

"I have him for this Home Ec-type of class?" Anemone said, shaking her head. "It's a prank, just for fun."

"Could we send exploding pies to the elves?" she wondered, sizing up 'their' own forces. "Claim it's dinner, then boom? That would take care of them."

"I don't want to have to bake a pie," Rikku said. "That's gonna take a while. Do we have any flamethrowers? I could seriously have some fun with a flamethrower, here. That'd take out lots of them."

Anemone clapped and went bouncing off to look while Rikku finished whatever voodoo she needed to do to make their canon BOOM. "Flamethrower!" she called out cheerfully, looking over stockpiles ~~because her mun so does not know the canon~~. "Where can a girl find a flamethrower? Anyone? Anyone?"

Browsing through the stockpiles, come on, come on ...

"No way," Rikku breathed happily, reaching for a backpack with a hose attached. "Anemone? I think I found the flamethrowers."

It was so on.

There was a gleeful cheer, and Anemone came skipping back, white dress swinging as she scampered. "Sweeeeeeeeeeeet," she crooned, easily picking one up and outfitting herself.

She tilted her head, surveying the scene before them. "Start over there?" she suggested, pointing at a clump of combatants. "It has elves in it, with silly hair, and Mouse-Men. I bet all the starch in their uniforms will burn nicely."

More backpacks should come with fire-hose attachments. They just should. It was so darn convenient.

"Start there, work our way to ... say ... there?" Rikku said, pointing to another group further away. "Crispy-fry anybody who isn't us?"

She barely remembered what team they were supposed to be on. Rikku-and-Anemone seemed like a good-sized team.

Anemone quickly braided her hair and tucked it out of the way. The last thing she needed was to catch fire. "Sure!" If they were supposed to be on any other team, Anemone had already forgotten.

She looked over at Rikku and grinned. "Race you!" she called out, already heading towards their first targets. "Bonus points if one that you hit manages to catch something else on fire while flailing around!"

Murdock just managed to duck a fireball that seemed to come out of nowhere. "What the...?"

He spotted two bouncy figures seemingly leaving trails of fire in their wake.

"You know you're supposed to be helpin' those guys, right?" he yelled out.

Sigh. Oh well. "Heck with it."

"Free-for-all!" he yelled and went charging the first thing nearby.

He's here before and after class, looking entirely waaaaay to happy about something. Hrm. Wonder what he's been up to lately?

Say hello to my little geek!

Why no! I don't happen to have an army of any of these. I have a *cough** ahem* army of Wood Elves.

Because I am insane like that. Since normally, they're absolutely worthless on a field by themselves.

Unless you happen to go against someone with no sense of tactics whatsoever.

*years later --- still boggling over how she whipped that undead army*

I'm not a geek.

Really.

Please note that I have no official association or ties with Games Workshop, and do not endorse or provide recommendations of their products, or have any money gain by linking to their site, blah, blah, phooy!

Just sayin' it to get it out there. :)

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Merc'ing 101: How to Make It as a Mercenary and Still Stay in One Piece, Wed 7/30

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The Hordes, the hordes!

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The prof.

OOC

OOC II - Disclaimer