Tyler Durden (
tyler_gone) wrote in
fandomhigh2008-07-25 08:40 am
Entry tags:
Living On Your Own, Friday, Period 1
Tyler stood leaning against the front wall of the classroom as the students filed in and, once everyone seemed to be settled, he began.
"Hey. Happy Friday. Hope no one still has a speech impediment from talkin' like a pirate yesterday."
"Today we're talking about getting a job, which you will most likely need if you wanna live on your own unless you happen to have a couple extra thousand bucks lying around. (If you do, congratulations and don't forget to share the wealth.) The estimate I found online was that for an average adult in Alexandria, where the school is when it's not on a world tour, you need to earn almost $25,000 a year. That's not steak and new Prius money. That's cheap apartment, rice and beans, riding the bus money."
"The kind of job you're probably going to get starting out is not all that glamorous. Without qualifications, you can work retail, you can wait tables, you can do factory work -- which is kind of fun 'cause you get to be around big dangerous machinery. And, of course, not many of those jobs hit the $12 an hour you'd want."
"An easy way to get more money, and make your life a little more interesting, is to work night jobs. Yeah, you get on a vampire's schedule but the people are more interesting, you don't have to get out of bed at 6 a.m., and half the time they'll hire any warm body. That's how I ended up being a banquet waiter when I was first on my own."
"To find a job, first thing you wanna do is look at the want ads. Remember that there are a lot of scams out there, model usually means hooker, and you shouldn't have to pay anybody to get a job. Once you find something that you can do, you need to send in a resume or application." He reviewed how to write a resume or fill out an application. "And then you send it off and, most of the time, never hear back. But when you do hear back, that's the interview. My big tips for that are don't freak out, wear nice clothes, and smile and seem upbeat even if it makes you feel like a crazy person. Employers like the happy."
"Your assignment today is to find a job you think you'd be qualified for as of today and write an application for it, using this sample application. And if you have extra time, I will be happy to interview you for the jobs you applied for."
"Next week is cooking, so start thinking about food."
"Hey. Happy Friday. Hope no one still has a speech impediment from talkin' like a pirate yesterday."
"Today we're talking about getting a job, which you will most likely need if you wanna live on your own unless you happen to have a couple extra thousand bucks lying around. (If you do, congratulations and don't forget to share the wealth.) The estimate I found online was that for an average adult in Alexandria, where the school is when it's not on a world tour, you need to earn almost $25,000 a year. That's not steak and new Prius money. That's cheap apartment, rice and beans, riding the bus money."
"The kind of job you're probably going to get starting out is not all that glamorous. Without qualifications, you can work retail, you can wait tables, you can do factory work -- which is kind of fun 'cause you get to be around big dangerous machinery. And, of course, not many of those jobs hit the $12 an hour you'd want."
"An easy way to get more money, and make your life a little more interesting, is to work night jobs. Yeah, you get on a vampire's schedule but the people are more interesting, you don't have to get out of bed at 6 a.m., and half the time they'll hire any warm body. That's how I ended up being a banquet waiter when I was first on my own."
"To find a job, first thing you wanna do is look at the want ads. Remember that there are a lot of scams out there, model usually means hooker, and you shouldn't have to pay anybody to get a job. Once you find something that you can do, you need to send in a resume or application." He reviewed how to write a resume or fill out an application. "And then you send it off and, most of the time, never hear back. But when you do hear back, that's the interview. My big tips for that are don't freak out, wear nice clothes, and smile and seem upbeat even if it makes you feel like a crazy person. Employers like the happy."
"Your assignment today is to find a job you think you'd be qualified for as of today and write an application for it, using this sample application. And if you have extra time, I will be happy to interview you for the jobs you applied for."
"Next week is cooking, so start thinking about food."

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Pause.
"You probably didn't need to know that, did you?"
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"Okay, Amber, what would you do if you were applying makeup to someone and she started freaking out and said you were going to make her look ugly?"
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Amber was nothing if not honest.
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"Tempting," Tyler said. "But then she'd probably start screaming for your manager and, bam, we lost a client."
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"I guess I would leave out the snark and cuss words. Am I able to redo a question durin' an interview?"
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