http://canadianpopstar.livejournal.com/ (
canadianpopstar.livejournal.com) wrote in
fandomhigh2008-07-08 12:48 am
Entry tags:
Enjoying Those Teenage Years [period 5, Tuesday]
When the students filed into the classroom, they would find that the desks were arranged in a circle, and at the head of the room there was a slim, tall woman who looked torn between boredom and nervousness. "Hi. I'm Robin Scherbatsky. You guys can call me Ms. Scherbatsky, or really, just Robin is fine. Anyone who uses any name you heard from Professor Stinson will be ignored," she said, waving and leaning against her desk (hee, she had a desk!) "So, I recognize some faces, and...some, not so much, but that's okay. You're here because you're not lame, or at least not as lame as your classmates."
She eased up to sit on the edge of the desk, crossing her legs as she surveyed the class. "Everyone knows that most of you guys are going to experiment and do crap you're 'not supposed to.' These are supposedly the best years of your life, right? And you're all young. You can handle a little adventure. So yeah, we know you're gonna do it. But the thing is, sometimes you guys aren't quite bright enough, or aren't experienced enough to do it right. That's why you're here. I'll teach you how to do the stuff you're not supposed to do the right way, and how to keep yourselves from getting in trouble. Because wow, way to harsh a buzz, right?"
"So, first thing's first. Tell me your name, how old you are, and what you'd be most scared to get caught doing," she said, considering. "Then, we're going to do a little exercise. The first part of any of this stuff is getting out of the house, right?
She moved over to write a few things on the board. "Okay, so. Before you do anything, make notes on what time dear old mom and dad -- or whoever your guardians might be -- usally go to bed. And we all know the trick where you put pillows in bed to look like a sleeping you, right? Try turning on a TV or stereo at low volume, too, so they think you're in there. Rookie stuff, right? Okay, now, if you can just walk out the door, do this. Don't be a dumbass and try to climb out your window if you can save yourself the hassle. But if you have to resort to that, make sure to take out the screen earlier in the day so you don't have to worry about making any noise. Be wary of things like squeaky floorboards, too. Keep in mind that fire escapes are your friend, and so are trees and lattices, but again, only use this as a last resort. If you're lucky enough to be able to get down the stairs, make sure you have your reason ready and better still, tangible evidence. You went down for your iPod, or some water, or your homework -- make sure it's something that's actually down there. Bonus points if you can wear a bathrobe or something, too, so they don't suspect."
"Once you're out, stay calm. Don't run. Walk. Running draws attention and you don't want to do that. And guys, don't be stupid. Take your phone with you. Or let a friend know where you're going. If no one knows where you are, no one can rescue your stupid ass if you get hurt or something. Also, maybe leave a note on the decoy in your bed, so Mom and Dad don't call the cops. Also, gotta say -- best thing you could take with you? Keys. Keep your keys between your fingers like...claws or something. Come on, I can't be the only one who saw that episode of Oprah. Swiss Army knives are also good, or -- hey, knowing this town, you guys probably have real weapons. I'm just saying, if you're sneaking out, don't be retarded about it, okay?"
"But, let's play best worst-case scenario. If you were caught out -- let's say your parents catch you in the driveway. What's your excuse? You need to have something iron-clad. On-the-spot lying is a gift that very few of us have. Don't try it if you can't. Just have a story ready."
"But first," she added, "intros." She pointed at a student at random. "Go."
[roster - syllabus - ooc notes]
She eased up to sit on the edge of the desk, crossing her legs as she surveyed the class. "Everyone knows that most of you guys are going to experiment and do crap you're 'not supposed to.' These are supposedly the best years of your life, right? And you're all young. You can handle a little adventure. So yeah, we know you're gonna do it. But the thing is, sometimes you guys aren't quite bright enough, or aren't experienced enough to do it right. That's why you're here. I'll teach you how to do the stuff you're not supposed to do the right way, and how to keep yourselves from getting in trouble. Because wow, way to harsh a buzz, right?"
"So, first thing's first. Tell me your name, how old you are, and what you'd be most scared to get caught doing," she said, considering. "Then, we're going to do a little exercise. The first part of any of this stuff is getting out of the house, right?
She moved over to write a few things on the board. "Okay, so. Before you do anything, make notes on what time dear old mom and dad -- or whoever your guardians might be -- usally go to bed. And we all know the trick where you put pillows in bed to look like a sleeping you, right? Try turning on a TV or stereo at low volume, too, so they think you're in there. Rookie stuff, right? Okay, now, if you can just walk out the door, do this. Don't be a dumbass and try to climb out your window if you can save yourself the hassle. But if you have to resort to that, make sure to take out the screen earlier in the day so you don't have to worry about making any noise. Be wary of things like squeaky floorboards, too. Keep in mind that fire escapes are your friend, and so are trees and lattices, but again, only use this as a last resort. If you're lucky enough to be able to get down the stairs, make sure you have your reason ready and better still, tangible evidence. You went down for your iPod, or some water, or your homework -- make sure it's something that's actually down there. Bonus points if you can wear a bathrobe or something, too, so they don't suspect."
"Once you're out, stay calm. Don't run. Walk. Running draws attention and you don't want to do that. And guys, don't be stupid. Take your phone with you. Or let a friend know where you're going. If no one knows where you are, no one can rescue your stupid ass if you get hurt or something. Also, maybe leave a note on the decoy in your bed, so Mom and Dad don't call the cops. Also, gotta say -- best thing you could take with you? Keys. Keep your keys between your fingers like...claws or something. Come on, I can't be the only one who saw that episode of Oprah. Swiss Army knives are also good, or -- hey, knowing this town, you guys probably have real weapons. I'm just saying, if you're sneaking out, don't be retarded about it, okay?"
"But, let's play best worst-case scenario. If you were caught out -- let's say your parents catch you in the driveway. What's your excuse? You need to have something iron-clad. On-the-spot lying is a gift that very few of us have. Don't try it if you can't. Just have a story ready."
"But first," she added, "intros." She pointed at a student at random. "Go."
[roster - syllabus - ooc notes]

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