Punching People and Not Breaking Your Hand: Fighting 101 - Period 5 - [06/16]

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It was past time for class to start and there was still no teacher.

Or movie.

This could only end in complete and utter chaos as the teenagers were left alone to run amuck and burn the school down.

Or something like that.

A moment later there was a brilliant flash of light and two men at the front of the class. One in red and holding swords to stab many a thing and the other...

...was holding a blunt object in one hand. It looked a lot like the bumper of a car, and he was bleeding on it. Just a little. "...I think it worked," he said, sounding just a touch out of breath. "...It worked."

"Huh." There was a small pause as Deadpool eyed the class. "Oh, nice. Just in time!"

"Just in time...?"

Cable panted another breath, then lowered the object in his hands carefully down to the ground. His gaze shifted to follow Deadpool's-- ah. "...Morning."

"And that is why you kids should never get dragged into a post-apocalyptic and Apocalyptic future." A beat. "Right?"

"Right." Cable... was going to need a moment. Right. "We only missed by a few days," he said, shifting his attention away from the class. It was always nice to be able to compartmentalize. "Unless this is someone else's class..."

Deadpool just sighed. "No, the subject line is correct, so this is totally my class."

"Of course." His breathing coming down to a manageable level, Cable went back to regarding the class. "And would you've had anything set in the syllabus for today...?" Somehow, he doubted it.

"...something about punching things?" Deadpool said, venturing a guess.

"Of course," Cable repeated, dryly, his attention now drawn mostly to making sure the wound on his shoulder hadn't gotten any worse. Starting to wind down. "I guess that makes the floor all yours."

Not that he'd probably let Deadpool have it for long, but it was the principle of the matter.

"Yes!" Deadpool stared at the kids again. "Huh. How about we hit things and pretend none of this happened, mmkay?"

"Askani preserve me. I could use some sleep," Cable muttered, under his breath. Louder, he continued, "While learning various styles of combat," he hoped Wade had actually taught them any, "is the start of every journey towards learning to 'punch people', you'll find that sometimes, you have to adapt to the situation..."

He shot the car bumper on the floor a Look.

Maybe Nate was onto something...

Deadpool nodded enthusiastically. "Yes, weapons are sometimes good for the bludgeoning."

"Anything could be a weapon."

He supposed it was too much to ask that Deadpool had done anything on the moral applications before...

"Learn to use the environment against your opponent." Was that enough to make a lecture? He was quickly starting to find the chairs in the corner more interesting than the class, for once.

Well, when Deadpool was the teacher, that might be.

"So, moral of the story is: Never bring a knife to a gun fight."

"Well put," Cable deadpanned. He was already on the move, past the bumper, past Deadpool, and straight for the most comfortable looking chair he could find. He sat down.

It had been a long time since any man looked that happy just to sit down.

"...talk amongst yourselves about potential weapons in the room and, no, the guy in the corner with the glowy eye does not count."

Cable was happy to add gravity to the point by closing his eyes. And falling asleep.

It was gravity.

Deadpool bowed, waving at the class. "Thank you, I hope you all enjoyed the show. Remember to tip your servers!"