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fandomhigh2008-05-21 10:30 pm
tinkerbitch.livejournal.com) wrote in fandomhigh2008-05-21 10:30 pm
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The History of Sex: Workshop 2, Period 3 (Thursday, May 22)
Barney paged through a novel impatiently at the podium. "How am I at page 145 and there's no porn yet? What kind of romance novel is this? Don't these people know there's a formula for writing this drivel: A dozen pages; sex scene; a fake plot point; sex scene; lather, rinse, repeat!"
Tink zipped over and inspected the cover. Oooooooooh. This was one of those Olde Time romance novels, the ones where everyone was British and wore fancy dresses. Those seemed to go, dozen pages, awkward physical encounter, dozen pages, stolen kiss. Sometimes nobody got naked until page 200 when the guy finally found his way -- STUDENTS! There were students and she would stop that thought right there. Hello, students!
"Right, well," Barney straightened up and cleared his throat. "Ahem. I have a valid reason for looking at this, really. Today we're focusing on fictional sex, aka the Romance Novel."
Romance novels tended to be written by middle-aged housewives, and featured young, sweet, innocent women who were seduced by dangerous, exotic men, who suddenly stopped whoring and cheating in order to be faithful to that one particular young, sweet, innocent woman forever and ever from then on. In other words, children, we were fully in the realm of escapism and wish fulfillment for bored, middle-aged housewives, who were also the typical audience for those books. This was why the guy occasionally rode the downtown train but the girl never managed to make the trip. Know your audience, children.
Barney raised an eyebrow. "That's because those bored, middle-aged housewives don't realize that they too could follow in the footsteps of Harriet Jones and become a Cougar one day."
Someone should tell them. Make-over, make-over! Tink loved make-overs!! A bored housewife enters the cocoon, and emerges ... a Cougar! Chased by young men everywhere, and adored for her fabulous chicness! Now that would make a good romance novel!
"Speaking of what would make a good romance novel, that is your assignment: Create a synopsis, story, or excerpt from your very own romance novel. The catch? You've gotta keep it as vague as possible. Pretend you're not a slacker and you have a job and at any moment your boss could walk by your desk and look over your shoulder to discover this work in progress." Even to Barney it sounded like he was asking them to write fic.
Oooooh, fic! That could be their homework! Children: for homework, look up a modern twist on the romance novel: slash fic. Type those words into Google, find some interesting stories about characters they knew and loved, print their favorite to bring in for next week! ... Tink was possibly shivering with evil happiness.
Tink zipped over and inspected the cover. Oooooooooh. This was one of those Olde Time romance novels, the ones where everyone was British and wore fancy dresses. Those seemed to go, dozen pages, awkward physical encounter, dozen pages, stolen kiss. Sometimes nobody got naked until page 200 when the guy finally found his way -- STUDENTS! There were students and she would stop that thought right there. Hello, students!
"Right, well," Barney straightened up and cleared his throat. "Ahem. I have a valid reason for looking at this, really. Today we're focusing on fictional sex, aka the Romance Novel."
Romance novels tended to be written by middle-aged housewives, and featured young, sweet, innocent women who were seduced by dangerous, exotic men, who suddenly stopped whoring and cheating in order to be faithful to that one particular young, sweet, innocent woman forever and ever from then on. In other words, children, we were fully in the realm of escapism and wish fulfillment for bored, middle-aged housewives, who were also the typical audience for those books. This was why the guy occasionally rode the downtown train but the girl never managed to make the trip. Know your audience, children.
Barney raised an eyebrow. "That's because those bored, middle-aged housewives don't realize that they too could follow in the footsteps of Harriet Jones and become a Cougar one day."
Someone should tell them. Make-over, make-over! Tink loved make-overs!! A bored housewife enters the cocoon, and emerges ... a Cougar! Chased by young men everywhere, and adored for her fabulous chicness! Now that would make a good romance novel!
"Speaking of what would make a good romance novel, that is your assignment: Create a synopsis, story, or excerpt from your very own romance novel. The catch? You've gotta keep it as vague as possible. Pretend you're not a slacker and you have a job and at any moment your boss could walk by your desk and look over your shoulder to discover this work in progress." Even to Barney it sounded like he was asking them to write fic.
Oooooh, fic! That could be their homework! Children: for homework, look up a modern twist on the romance novel: slash fic. Type those words into Google, find some interesting stories about characters they knew and loved, print their favorite to bring in for next week! ... Tink was possibly shivering with evil happiness.
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