fandomhigh | How To Get Into College - Monday

When the students came into class they would see a very tall man, suited up, leaning against the large desk at the front of the classroom. He was currently engrossed in eating a jelly donut. Really, really engrossed. There might have been some gleeful giggling coming from him. Donuts were awesome. When it was time for class to start he wiped his hands on his pants and began to speak.

“Hi there. I’m Marshall Eriksen, please call me Marshall, and I will be your teacher for this class. Okay, so, you’re taking this class because a) You want to go to college or b) You’ve got a thing for tall men. If it’s “a” then yay for you for wanting to go to college. If it’s “b” then, well, I’ll try to wearing a more fitted suit for your viewing pleasure next time. Yes, I have gone to college. I spent my undergrad years at Wesleyan and I just recently graduated from Columbia with a law degree. I've been in school for a long, long time. You don’t have to worry about me not being knowledgeable. So let’s start with you guys introducing yourselves and telling me what you’re looking for in a college.”

After the class finished with the introductions Marshall went on with his lecture. “So the first thing about going to college is that you have to pick a couple you want to go to. And you can’t pick just one. Harvard is not going to take all of you. There’s a good chance Harvard isn’t going to take any of you. Now I’m not saying you shouldn’t try at all. I’m just saying you should pick a few safe schools to apply to just in case the Ivy-league schools don’t come a’knocking.”

“There’s a few things you want to take into consideration. The size of the school, what majors they offer, the cost, where in the country it is. Yes, the idea of being in California while your parents are in Maine sounds great now but seriously consider whether or not you can be away from Mommy and Daddy for that long. Everybody is going to get homesick at one point but some people get even more than that. They get the homeplague,” Marshall snickered for a second. “Get it? Home…plague. Okay, that was lame.”

Marshall picked up a stack of papers and started passing them out. “I made some general stereotypes about the types of schools you can apply to and a little information about them. Feel free to look them over when you have time.”

“Okay, so, that’s it for me today pretty much. I’m passing out a quiz for you to take for fun. This by no means is telling you what type of school you should choose. I just got bored yesterday and made it up off the top of my head. In the end it’s your decision. And if you make a mistake you can always transfer. It’s a lot of paperwork and your parents will be giving you the stink eye for a while but they’ll get over it,” Marshall said. “You can leave after you take the quiz. I’ll be sticking around after class if anyone wants to talk.”

[~~Please wait for~~ OCD up!]

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"Well I wouldn't be bathing with you. It's a metaphor for the transition into the crazy of this place," Deadpool explained. "And, you know, a welcome present."

An AWESOME one.

"Oh! Well, thank you for the welcome present," Marshall said, relaxing a little when he realized that he will be taking baths by himself. "I've already been in contact with some of the craziness here. I ran into one of my friends at the picnic. Except he's from the future. Or something."

Deadpool patted him soothingly.

Like a mother with her baby.

He was stuck on this metaphor, okay? Give him a minute.

"You get used to that, really. Just avoid the glitter and you're cool."

Marshall didn't mind the patting. Ted patted his head when he was sad. It was nice.

"What's wrong with the glitter?" he asked. Surely nothing could be wrong with adding a little pizazz to your outfit.

"According to the students, it leads to boykissy," Deadpool informed him sagely.

"How--? You know what? I'm not going to ask. I'll just stay away from it," Marshall said. He's had problems with boykissy in the past. Stupid Barney.

Barney and boykissy would break Deadpool's fragile brain.

Ir really would.

"Good! And gremlins. Stay away from those."

"I KNEW GREMLINS WERE REAL!" Marshall said, flailing a little. "I knew it! I saw one crawl into the sewer once but noooooooo Ted didn't believe me! He just said it was a cat. Please. That's like when people say that Sasquatch is just a hairy hobo that lives in the woods."

"I'm pretty sure he's still a scientist," Deadpool said, nodding.

"I have always thought that Sasquatch was intelligent like a scientist," Marshall said. "It's why he's been able to remain hidden for so long."

"Exactly!" Deadpool had no clue what he was referring to. And wondered if he should give Walter a call...

Most people had no idea Marshall was talking about when he went into Sasquatch hunter mode.

Marshall looked Deadpool over again. "Look, I have to ask. Are you a ninja?"

"Mercenary, actually." Deadpool smiled cheerfully, though. "Which is kinda like a ninja."

"That is the coolest thing I've ever heard."

"Hell yeah!" Finally someone got it. Deadpool was so damn happy now. He held up a hand for a highfive.

Marshall gladly highfive'd Deadpool back. Ninjas and anything remotely resembling ninjas were awesome.

"Just let me know if you need anything or want someone's ass kicked and I'm there," Deadpool told him.

"Oh man, I totally will!" Marshall said. Now he was kind of hoping he gets an enemy here so Deadpool could kick his ass.

"I teach..." He squinted at his watch. "...soonish I think. Sometime after this class, so just feel free to stop by if you have questions. Or want more Mr Bubble."

"Can do," Marshall said. "Nice to meet you, dude."

How To Get Into College - Monday - Period 3

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