fandomhigh | The Art of Cool: Class 12, Period 2 (Friday, April 4)

Everyone Gets an Award!

Tink was so excited today, children! She was applauding and zipping around and she'd put on a slinky red dress for the occasion, because formal occasions required a sense of style and while her normal green dress was chic it was not Awards Ceremony Material. And it was! It was an awards ceremony! Weren't they excited, children? They should be! Good luck! They just might win!!

Barney was just glad to finally have a use for those trophies he bought last semester. "Okay kiddos, we spent way too much time agonizing over who you really are in order to match you with a particular class superlative," Barney explained. "Except not."

They got trophies! Trophies meant you won and weren't the lame stupid people who lost. Only losers lost. It was part of the name. But they were winners! Sort of. You know. Amidst the fact that they were teenagers, which meant that they couldn't be cool. That sort of thing.

"Amazing trophies that will build confidence and self-efficacy," Barney said encouragingly. Of course, the trophies were bowling trophies with their new superlatives printed on stickers and attached to the bases. "Or at least that's what Wikipedia said."

Tink liked Wikipedia. She just hated the people who kept reverting her edits. Banning her as a vandal! Why, she never! At least she knew how to hide her IP and get back on. But that was neither here nor there! Had they gotten an award for Wikipedia? They should.

"Huh? What?" He'd totally spaced out there for a minute. "Oh, right! Now you get to give a speech congratulating yourself for winning an award. It's good public speaking practice for when you perjure yourself in court later in life."

When your name is called, come forward! Get your award! Speech, speech!

ZACK ADDY -- Barney Still Hates You Award
AMBER ATKINS -- Best Faker Award (You Seem Very Sweet, Stop That Already) Award
JACK BURTON -- Mullet of Confidence Award
DICK CASABLANCAS -- Cool & Single Award of Excellence
MARCO CONRAD -- Non-Human Award
GAVIN DARKLIGHTER -- Kid Most Likely To Fall Off A Horse Award
BROOKE DAVIS -- Girl Who Has Her Priorities Straight (& Had Better Not Change) Award
DOJIMA YURIKA -- Bitchy Diva (We're So Proud) Award
HARRY DRESDEN -- Talks to Skulls Award
SEREGIL I KORIT S...OMETHING -- Seriously, That Is Not All Your Name Award
ROMEO MONTAGUE -- When You Give Up The Hawaiian Shirts, Then You Get This Award
JEFF MURDOCK -- BREASTS Award
ADAM PARK -- Tries Really Hard Even If He Fails At Laser Tag Award
RENO -- Did Not Suck As A Child Award
ROBIN -- Best, um, FROG Award (SERIOUSLY?)
ALEX RUSSO -- You Seem Bouncy Award
LUKE SKYWALKER -- Look How You Can Tell Your Relatives From Strangers Now Award
SORA -- We'll Forgive the Hair If You Kill a Wendy-Bird Award
RIVER TAM -- Um, You Scare Us, Have A Trophy!
RON WEASLEY -- The Grandson Who Will Never Get Laid But Has Great Potential Award

Of course, that wasn't all! Awards were special and shouldn't be limited to those pathetic fools who had to learn Cool at the knees of Tink and Barney. So there were more trophies! Hooray!

MEL FRAY -- Best Lesbian Award
HARRIET JONES -- Hottest Cougar Award
SAVANNAH LEVINE AND JOHNNY STORM -- Getting Married As Children Is BAD Award
MEG MANNING -- Please Have Some Booze for Having to Make Pancakes for Children Award
ANAKIN SKYWALKER -- Thank You for Entertaining the Insane Children (You Should Have Dropped Some) Award
JENNY SPARKS -- You Would Have Passed This Class Easily, Had You Taken It Award
TURTLE WEXLER -- Please God Let You Not Be A Real Turtle, You Capitalist Wunderkind Award
WIKIPEDIA -- Stop Banning Tink Already Award

And of course, two very special awards:

TINKER BELL -- Best Tink Award
BARNEY STINSON -- Best Barney Award

Awwww, she promised herself she wasn't going to cry! But she had put on streak-proof mascara just in case. Sit down, she had a list of people to thank! This might take a while!

[ooc: Some of the awards went to people not even in Tink and Barney-class, not to mention fellow teachers or, in one case, a website. If your character got one, then you can freely assume you were handwavily notified and you can show up to claim your prize / give a speech / glare. Jooooin us, muahahahhaha.]

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"Thank you for this award! Not gonna lie, I totally deserve it," Dick said. Because he was, indeed, cool and single. "Let's see, I have to thank Tink and Barney because they are the greatest teachers ever and they have helped me hone my cool skills. I will gladly be your wingman anytime. And...that's it! Thanks, again!"

Tink applauded. A wingman! She had always wanted one of those. He made a very nice wingman, she was sure.

The Art of Cool: Class 12, Period 2 (Friday, April 4)

Re: SPEECH, SPEECH! [4/4]

Re: SPEECH, SPEECH! [4/4]