fandomhigh | Criminal Justice (As Taught By A Criminal) - Period 3

Why yes, yes Deadpool was sitting on the desk again today. But there were other things on the desk. Like a camera and a lot of paper. And ink.

Weird, no?

"Morning kids! Today we're learning about something very fun. Booking procedure. Or, ya know, the fun bits of it to me at least. Who wants to learn about lots and lots of paperwork, after all? Bo~oring!"

Hopping off the desk, he started to pace in front of the class.

"First up today is the mugshot. Or, as I like to call it, the best way to make or break a career in Hollywood by looking like a homeless heroin addict!" Deadpool shook his head sadly. "No one wants to end up lookin' like Nick Nolte or Hugh Grant, so I suggest practicing your look before they actually toss you in to get that picture taken. It'll be like modeling! With police! And crimes!"

Really.

Just like it.

"And second! Fingerprints. Which is just code for letting you kids run wild and free with paper and ink. Because no one really cares about learning about whirls and all stuff. You just want to get straight to the finding your classmates' finger prints so you can see if they're stealing food from the common rooms. Isn't that right? For shame, common room food stealer. Just go to Turtle&Canary and buy your own."

"Last of all!" He bounced on his heels, looking at the class. "Haley Joel, English Petey... Welcome to being my TAs. I expect you to rule with an iron fist."

[[ooc: ~~Wait for the~~ OCD is up!]]

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Deadpool nodded slowly. "Well, not recently. It's usually those dorks from SHIELD trying to arrest me these days and that only ends in a butt whoopin'."

"Who's SHIELD?" he asked, momentarily sidetracked.

"Stupid organization dedicated to defeating HYDRA, which is actually something based on the remnants of the Nazi party." A beat. "Somehow. I never really asked."

He shook his head.

"Though, really, now it's just run by Tony Stark and we all know that can only end badly. We need our surly one-eyed agent back. At least no one laughed at Nick Fury. But Stark? Just throw some booze at him and you're good."

Michael pulled a face.

"No challenge for you in them, then? Or in the cops?"

Deadpool sighed. "Well, since they have those pesky rules to follow and I can bodyslide away, it's just silly of them."

"Bodyslide?" he asked curiously.

"Oh, you know. you say those magic words by two and I pop up somewhere else with a bitchy Christ figure in tow."

Michael blinked.

"...sounds like an interesting power."

"Well, it's not so much a power as a funny story involving a virus, people turning blue, and getting puked out."

Don't ask. Just... Don't ask.

Michael considered this for a moment, and changed the subject.

"So when's the last time they got as far as arresting you?"

"Huh."

Deadpool had to give that thought.

"About fifteen years ago? Maybe?"

"Pretty impressive", Michael allowed. "...or maybe the opposite, for them."

"Huh, I should get Weaz to check my record. I know I have a lot of warrants out for my arrest at least..."

Deadpool grinned, shaking his head. "Why do you want to know?"

"Ah, just curious. Teachers should know what they're talking about, and all."

"Well when it comes to attempted arrests... yes. I have a lot of knowledge."

"Good enough for me."

Criminal Justice (As Taught By A Criminal) - Period 3 - Monday 01/14

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