fandomhigh | Debating, Friday December 7

Chuck strolled into class, rather unfashionably late.

He set his briefcase down and wrote the lesson subject on the board.

“Appeal to probability.” He underlined it. “This is the idea that if something could happen, it will happen. It’s usually employed to teach caution. Take for example:

Dogs have been known to bite, so if you get a dog, it will bite you.

Now, some people will try to argue with you, saying that the dog biting is only a probability, and that there are more factors involved in whether or not your particular dog turns out well or not. But you must all remember the biggest rule in debating, the one that should be familiar to you by now: Simplify. Don’t let people add a bunch of irrelevant information. We’ve seen that there are times where it’s necessary to create a massive, long and artistic argument. However, those should all be made of simple, little steps. In no way should you ever take a long time deciding your next step. This is something to keep in mind, as we’ll be having a practice session for the final next week. But remember to focus on today lesson today. Now go!”

[OOC: Just a minute…okay!]

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"I have no idea! She's a dog, she eats your jeans, she's weird, how would I know how she feels?" Charlie flailed. "And don't get wound up! We can talk about, about, I don't know, Turtle! Right over there! Much better topic!"

"Oh god!" This was going very bad very quickly, and Jeff flailed a little. "Now you've got the probability of talking about TURTLE stuck in my head!"

"Wait, what? No! We don't have to talk about her either, if that upsets you!" Charlie was just about ready to headdesk. "Although why it should-- we both think she's cool, so..."

"But what if we accidentally stumble onto the wrong topic?!" Yes, this was a concern. "What if her breasts end up in the equation? I can't talk to her best friend about her breasts, she might..." Pause. "Know about it!"

Another pause. "Oh god," he repeated, "Now I've got Turtle's bodyparts multiplying in my head."

"Gah!" Yeah, that was worth a headdesk and arm-flail, as Charlie tried to disassociate herself from that part of the conversation. "Okay! Okay! We can't talk about Turtle at all! Ever!"

"You've put them in there!" Jeff flailed, "Now they won't come out!"

"Oh my god, you are *such* a guy," Charlie realized. "Stop it! Stop thinking about body parts and Turtle and God, I don't want to even know what else could make this worse!"

[and sadly, must crash. woe!]

"We could have started talking about other people's breasts. Or thighs," Jeff offered. Then paused again. "Oh god."

"Totally," Charlie agreed, voice muffled in her hands. "Let's talk about dogs! You can win! Just stop talking about body parts that aren't for normal conversations with me!"

Caught between thighs and the dawning realisation he could actually win an argument, Jeff let go of a tiny whimpering noise before establishing firmly, "This conversation is about thighs." Pause. "Dogs! Dogs."

"Woof," Charlie agreed hopelessly.

Debating, Friday December 7

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