fandomhigh | Love Smart: Period 2, Week 8

Barney was waiting in the classroom when students arrived, dressed immaculately as ever. "I'd like to begin with a description of a great way to pick up chicks (or bros, I guess) for limited time interactions. I call it, The Just Visiting Method." He grinned, and let the name sink in before continuing.

"If you can stomach walking around dressed like someone’s dad, pretending to be a tourist in your own hometown is a great way to score chicks. All you need is a map, a fanny pack, and a brand new identity. I can’t help with the first two, but I can certainly help you create a believable back-story that promises to turn your waning local love life into a fiery, no-strings attached romp. Sorry! No time to stick around - you’ve got a flight to catch."

"All you have to do is fill in this script and you're virtually guaranteed a good weekend lay. Barney clicked his projecter remote and a copy of this cloze-type activity appeared.

Hi, I’m (real first name) __________ (bird of prey) ___________. I’m from (compass direction) _________ (biblical locale) ___________, (Midwestern or rectangular state) ___________. Go fightin’ (woodland creatures) ____________! Yep, it’s a great place to grow up. Walking down Main Street at (time of day) _________, and dropping in at (3-letter male name) _____________’s for some homemade (diabetic dessert) __________, well it makes my eyes water and my tummy grumble just thinking about it, yes siree. From time to time I like to check in on ol’ Mrs. (tree species) _________, bless her heart, and her prize winning (color) __________ (vegetable) __________s. My high school sweetheart (flower type) ____________ and I used to neck up on (dangerous animal) _____________ (body of water) _________ Point. Thought we’d get married but the good Lord had other plans for her in the form of a (American sedan) __________ losing control ‘round (American president) ________’s Curve. After she passed, I took up (piece of furniture) ____________ whittling to ease the pain, but golly, I sure don’t meet many ladies in that line of work, ‘specially not ones as pretty as you. Gosh, you’re prettier than a (barnyard animal) ___________ on a (season) _________ day glistening in the (celestial body) __________ shine.

"Now, with that information in mind, it's time for the practical portion of today's lesson, kiddos. You are going to pretend you've cheated on your SO. You get to choose how, with whom, all that jazz. Then you'll meet with a partner and practice lying about where you were last night. Sounds easy enough, right?"

[ooc: much was plagiarized from Barney's Blog. Expect to see some Crazy/Hotness toward the end of the semester, mmkay?]

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Molly looked over at Annette and decided to just jump into it. "So, I tried calling you last night. I thought you said you were going to be home."

"But I was home. Are you sure you called the right number?"

"I used the number stored in my phone," Molly replied. "I got your voice mail. I didn't leave a message though because I thought you'd see my number and know to call back."

"Oh, I must not have heard it. I was taking a long bath, you know, ipod on."

"Really?" Molly gave Annette a suspicious look. "Because after I couldn't reach you I went out and I swear I saw you eating dinner with some guy."

Annette arched a brow, chuckling slightly. "Well, you know what they say, there's a twin for everyone."

Molly lifted her chin and crossed her arms. "Yeah, it's amazing. Also amazing is how your twin has the exact same blouse that you bought the last time we went shopping. The blouse I haven't seen you wear yet, but found in your hamper this morning."

Annette leaned towards her slightly. "Did you sign up for that detective class you've constantly been talking about lately?"

Molly looked away, chin still raised. "That's beside the point."

She looked back at Annette, eyes narrowed a bit. "I didn't hear you deny it. I'm right. It's true. You've been cheering for a different team."

"It's all right, you know, your dectective class. I'm just sorry that she is your teacher. If you want me to kick her ass for you, let me know."

Annette did a bit of eye-narrowing herself. "No, I haven't. I've been planning your surprise birthday party dammit."

Molly blinked at Annette, thoroughly confused by her first statement. "Um, that's okay. I can kick any ass that needs to be kicked."

Her gazed softened. "A surprise birthday party for me? Really? It must be pretty special since my birthday's in March."

Annette was just trying to throw her off. Seriously.

Now it was Annette's turn to blink. "Uh. Yeah. Lots of planning involved."

Now it was Molly's turn to lean forward. "So, who was it you were planning with?" she asked conspiratorially. "I promise I won't let on that I know."

"A... party planner?"

"Wow! You really are going all out! Is there going to be a theme? Do you get to pick? If you have a brochure from him, I could take a peek and tell you which I'd like best. Do you have a guest list yet? I could tell you who I'd like to invite."

"Molly! That's the whole point of a surprise! You can't know anything." Pause. "But uh, this means later nights for me and uh, more time with party planner dude."

Molly couldn't help it anymore, she started to giggle. "You win! I can't call you on that lie now. I want the party!"

Annette giggled and raised her arms. "YAY! I win! And hopefully, just maybe you'll get that party."

Love Smart: Period 2, Week 8

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