US History- Thursday, October 11

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Mr. Noblet entered the classroom about half a minute after the bell rang. He put down his briefcase, then got out a pen and notepad.

“Right. You had reports due today. Turn them in at the front of the room, one at a time, and tell the class a little about why the historical figure you picked was terrible. Make it quick. The faster you talk, the less time you have to be in front of the class.”

He grabbed a vacant seat near the back of the room. He pointed at a random student. “You. Get up there.”

OOC: Hope you kids are ready…GO!

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A.J.

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Report

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Give your report on a historical figure pertaining to American history, and tell us how much they sucked.

Re: Report

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A.J. took the front of the classroom, clearing his throat dramatically as his hand appeared from his sleeve with his notecards. "Ahem. I have chosen to do my historical American report on none other than former President William Howard Taft (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Howard_Taft), of whom I submit to you, the class, was the worst president in American history. Now, now, now. Put away your pitchforks and torches while I explain, because I know what you're thinking. Taft? The fattest president in the country's history? So fat he had to have the White House bathtub redone to fit him? Shouldn't he be the perfect shining model of what American excess and revelry stands for?

"Maybe," A.J. continued, conspiratorially. "If he was even American. Or human, for that matter, because, what most people don't know because of all those typical government cover-ups, was that Taft was an alien. And not a good alien like a lot of the aliens we have here, or even the kind from a different country, but an Evil Slug Bodied Overlord Alien from Persei Omega 7, bent on living on the fat of the land and secretly feeding off the congress. It was Roosevelt who saw through his evil plot, you see, because Roosevelt, being a near midget and shorter than even Tom Cruise, had to make up for brains what he lacked in height. Besides, he was always nervous around Taft for the mere fact that Taft could physically crush him. So what was actually, to the greater public, the 1912 election was really Roosevelt's attempts to send evil slug alien scum back into outer space. That's how we got the Panama canal for real. So, thanks to Roosevelt, the world was saved from William Howard Taft and slug monsters from outer space. The end."

A.J. bowed and resumed his seat.

Yes, he'd made it up about ten minutes before class.

Re: Report

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and that is exactly the kind of journalistic integrity that will get you far in Noblet's class. He gave a nod of approval.

After class

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Questions for Noblet? He's here.

OOC

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Happy October 11, everyone!