http://professor-lyman.livejournal.com/ ([identity profile] professor-lyman.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] fandomhigh2007-09-17 11:05 pm
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US Goverment [Tuesday, September 18]

Josh was mainlining coffee this morning. This was, for the record, in no way different than every other day in Josh's life.

Outside the classroom, a small herd of teal deer were making themselves comfortable.

"Today we'll actually start talking about the American part of American government." He pointed to the board. "As most of you know, the Americas were discovered by Columbus...well by a bunch of other people first, and then Columbus, and Columbus was still convinced he had found India because Columbus was a moron, my rant about this is way more US history than US government so we'll just move on." He didn't even stop for breath. "So Columbus found a couple of continents, and soon all the major European powers were over here searching for gold and oppressing the indigenous population, as you do.

"The English arrived in the 1600s--about a hundred years late to the party--but they made a huge impact on this country. The English colonies were different because you didn't have to be English to live there--you could be from anywhere and if you were in an English colony, and admittedly, were a white guy, you were granted the same rights and privileges as an Englishman living back in England."

"The 13 colonies in North America had a pretty decent relationship with England. But they had been colonies for 150 years, and that's important to remember. Generations had grown up in America and were developing their own culture, and wanted their voice to be heard in decision making. England? Not so interested in that." Josh began pacing around the room.

"Things came to a boiling point when England instituted a series of taxes on the colonies to help pay off the debt for the French and Indian Wars. Without asking the colonists' opinion on the matter, or really caring that their response was, to paraphrase, 'aw, hell no.' The tax on paper--the Stamp Act, passed in 1765--pissed people off because before there was TV, the only way to get news circulated was on paper, and the colonists were huge into letter-writing, pamphlet making, and newspapers. But the Tea Act in 1773 was the last straw. The colonists came up with the super-spiffy chanty motto 'no taxation without representation'--something you'll see on license plates from Washington DC, which is a conversation for another time--and threw all of the tea that was supposed to be taxed into Boston Harbor."

Josh looked up. "This was called the Boston Tea Party because we have a sense of humor about things sometimes. The British, as you might imagine, didn't react with laughter. They closed Boston Harbor, clamped down on the Massachusetts government, and pretty much led directly to the battles of Lexington and Concord that started the Revolutionary War."

He reached onto his desk and picked up a copy of the Declaration of Independence. "Which leads us to perhaps the best written 'screw you and the horse you rode in on' document in the history of this planet. The Founders of this country wanted to make it perfectly clear to the world why they were severing ties with England. So they listed the many, many, many things that England, its parliament and its king had done wrong."

He held the paper in front of him. "But the part that has stuck with us is the 35 words in the second paragraph." He cleared his throat. "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness."

He put the Declaration down. "This section was cribbed from John Locke--one of the guys we talked about last class--but he said we had inalienable rights to property, rather than happiness. We won't get into the definition of 'men' in that sentence, or if we think that the United States has lived up to that ideal, or if 'pursuit of Happiness' is legally binding." He sighed. "Though I do give you permission here and now to smack any crazy person who writes a letter to the editor declaring pursuit of happiness a constitutionally granted right. It's not in the Constitution, and they should learn to read."

He passed out copies of the Declaration of Independence. "Okay. I want you to go through the list of grievances that the colonies had with England and tell me the one that would make you the most cranky. Next week we're going to have a very exciting quiz on everything you've learned up until now."

Josh perched on his desk and waited for the first student to comment.

Re: Sign in [September 18]

[identity profile] lovelylana.livejournal.com 2007-09-18 12:05 pm (UTC)(link)
Lana Lang

Re: Sign in [September 18]

[identity profile] henryoredward.livejournal.com 2007-09-18 01:31 pm (UTC)(link)
Henry Jekyll

Re: Sign in [September 18]

[personal profile] smartestone 2007-09-18 01:39 pm (UTC)(link)
Hermione Granger

Re: Sign in [September 18]

[identity profile] practicaldevice.livejournal.com 2007-09-18 04:37 pm (UTC)(link)
Anathema Device

Re: Listen to the lecture

[personal profile] smartestone 2007-09-18 01:40 pm (UTC)(link)
Hermione took extensive notes, though she left out the 'screw you and the horse you rode in on' bit.

Re: Listen to the lecture

[identity profile] practicaldevice.livejournal.com 2007-09-18 04:39 pm (UTC)(link)
Anathema took careful notes, including the bit about the horse.

Re: What grievance most aggrieves you?

[identity profile] lovelylana.livejournal.com 2007-09-18 12:08 pm (UTC)(link)
"I really hate the idea of the standing armies being there and the colonists being forced to put them up in their houses," Lana said.

Re: What grievance most aggrieves you?

[identity profile] henryoredward.livejournal.com 2007-09-18 01:34 pm (UTC)(link)
Henry was tempted to say "The Declaration itself," but successfully stifled both the comment and the resulting laughter. He guessed that those kinds of jokes might not be welcome here. Best to be respectful.

Re: What grievance most aggrieves you?

[identity profile] practicaldevice.livejournal.com 2007-09-18 04:40 pm (UTC)(link)
"From the British point of view, I'd have to say the fact that the colonists broke off would be the greatest grievance." Anathema said, with a straight face.

Re: What grievance most aggrieves you?

[identity profile] practicaldevice.livejournal.com 2007-09-19 03:49 am (UTC)(link)
Anathema smiled sweetly in return.

Re: Talk to Josh

[identity profile] lovelylana.livejournal.com 2007-09-18 12:06 pm (UTC)(link)
Lana handed Josh a coffee and pastry. "You're lucky. The teal deer almost got them."

Re: Talk to Josh

[identity profile] lovelylana.livejournal.com 2007-09-18 01:24 pm (UTC)(link)
"Apparently," Lana said with a smile. "A little Teal Deer pheromone in your aftershave, maybe?"

Re: Talk to Josh

[identity profile] lovelylana.livejournal.com 2007-09-19 03:53 am (UTC)(link)
"I don't know," Lana said. "If it was, you could just change aftershaves. As it is... they must just follow you around forever."

Re: Talk to Josh

[identity profile] lovelylana.livejournal.com 2007-09-19 04:05 am (UTC)(link)
"Got many of them yet?" she asked with a grin.

Re: Talk to Josh

[identity profile] lovelylana.livejournal.com 2007-09-19 04:14 am (UTC)(link)
"A website? Seriously?" Lana grinned at him. "Oh, you have to tell me the URL."

Re: Talk to Josh

[identity profile] lovelylana.livejournal.com 2007-09-19 04:22 am (UTC)(link)
"Of course you don't," she said seriously. And with a complete lack of belief. Lemonlymon... I'll have to check it out. I promise not to get into it with the webmistress, though."

Re: Talk to Josh

[identity profile] lovelylana.livejournal.com 2007-09-19 04:27 am (UTC)(link)
"I shall be most restrained in my posting," she said with a grin. "I may even be able to keep myself from mentioning how attractive you are to deer."

Re: Talk to Josh

[identity profile] lovelylana.livejournal.com 2007-09-19 04:32 am (UTC)(link)
"Though... your admiring public does have the right to know..."

Re: Talk to the TA

[identity profile] lovelylana.livejournal.com 2007-09-18 12:06 pm (UTC)(link)
Lana came in looking a little startled after having to fight through the teal deer to get in with coffees and pastries intact. But she's here.