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Potpourri - Monday 8/19

Buster had once again ~~handwavily~~ told his students to go to the Danger Shop today. He looked extremely amused with himself. He was about to inflict horrible mental torture on these kids and they had no idea. If Buster was the type to laugh evilly he would totally laugh evilly.

"Hahaha-oh jeez" Buster sneezed a few times into his sleeve before continuing to speak. "Heeeeey students. So here we are. The last day of class. It's sort of sad in a scholarly sort of way."

"Today we'll be continuing on our 'life sucks' theme. Are some of you in the Dealing With Stupid People class?" he paused for a moment to see if anyone raised their hands. "Today's activity sort of deals with the same thing."

He tapped his hook against his desk nervously. "People...hmm, how to say this. People are weirdos. Weird weirdos who say and do weirdo things. They most likely think you're the weirdo for thinking that they are a weirdo but in reality you're not the weirdo, they are! I'm completely normal, mother!"

Buster frowned. "You can't avoid weirdos. You run into them at work, in bars, in public restrooms. They're your bosses, your friends and your family. Weirdos are everywhere. But you learn how to deal with them and eventually you like said weirdos. Or if they're your family members you learn how to not stab them all with your hook."

"So today you are going to be talking to some holographic replicas of people I know in real life." said Buster. "Not all of them are weirdos...oh who am I kidding, you all met GOB. Just enter through one of the doors and you'll be in a scenario with one of my family members or friends of the family. Survive a conversation with them without crying or being attacked then you win. At life."

"Alright, saddle up!"

[Availability is shaky until 2:30pm because of school. OCD up! Note: Some of the Bluths aren't as nice and caring as Buster and GOB are ~~hahaha!~~. So keep in mind I love you all OOCly]

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You know the drill

Yasutora Sado

Lucas Wolenczak

Jeff Murdock

Johnny Storm

Eve Levine

Edward Elric

Chris Halliwell

Donatello

Your last chance to boggle at Buster.

Perhaps Buster should have made you sign a waiver.

Lucas readied himself and stepped through one of the doors. This couldn't be too bad. After all, he dealt with stupid people all the time.

Lucas would find himself in a room that was covered in blue paint. It was empty.

Or was it?

Lucas looked around, then glanced back. Either the wall had a mustache and glasses or there was someone there. "Uh, hi?"

"Oh, hello!" The man moved to shake Lucas' hand. He might get paint on him. "I'm Tobias Funke, Buster's brother-in-law."

Lucas shook his hand back, then looked at the blue paint left behind. "I'm Lucas, one of Buster's students. Are you normally blue?"

"Oh, no, I just blue myself today." he said, not at all catching the dirtiness of his sentence.

He blinked. "Excuse me? Did you just say...nevermind. So you painted yourself blue?" Lucas guessed, hoping it wasn't a skin condition. "Just for fun?"

"No, all business. I'm auditioning to be a member of the Blue Man Group." he said. "I'm sort of...between jobs at the moment."

Chad tried to go through the biggest door. Naturally.

When Chad opened the door he'd find himself at the beach. Standing a few yards in front of him was a giant blonde man holding a old crippled man in his arms.

The crippled man was waving at Chad.

Chad's head tilted. And, of course, he lifted up a hand and waved back.

"Come here, my boy! Or I'll come to you!" The old man said. He then leaned over and shouted in the blonde guy's ear. "DRAGON! WALK! Walk towards the waving kid!"

Chad didn't want to put anyone out, so he definitely came over when requested, hopefully before the blonde guy had to do the dragon walk thing, or whatever.

But he didn't really know what the crippled guy wanted. Maybe the blonde guy needed a break? Chad wouldn't mind helping. But, for now, he just said, "I like your hat."

"Why thank you. It makes me feel young again!" How a hat makes you feel young was anybody's guess. "I'm Uncle Jack and this is my manservant, Dragon. He's strong but deaf as rock."

"...Is that his real name?"

Because it was seriously a very cool name. Much better than a lame pun for tea, although Chad's actual name meaning 'tiger' made up for it a little.

"Damned if I know, boy. I just use him as my legs. I WON'T GO WHEELCHAIR!" shouted Uncle Jack. "Wheelchairs are for the weak."

Chad scratched his head. "But, you have to use your arms for a wheelchair. You don't have to use your arms with a...err....manservant."

Or he could, but Chad didn't particularly want to think about that.

"Yeah but wheelchairs don't get you sodas and massage your feet, do they?"

Chad looked like he might have something to say to that, then his head shifted to the side as he considered it a little further, and then slumped his shoulders.

"Point."

Jeff may have stared nonplussed at the doors for a full minute before wandering into one randomly.

Jeff wound find himself in a fancy restaurant. There was only one person there, a older looking woman who was sipping a martini.

She looked over at Jeff and rolled her eyes.

Jeff glanced behind him. Then back to the front.

There was more of the nonplussed staring.

"Are you going to sit down young man or are you just going to stand there like an idiot?" she asked.

And Jeff... ...sat down. Meekly.

"I'm sorry!"

She reminded him of his mother.

Johnny stepped through one of the doors, ready to see what was on the other side.

Johnny would find himself in a bar. There was only one patron, a pretty blonde woman who was drinking a Cosmo. She looked over at Johnny and smiled.

If Johnny were paying any attention he might notice that the blue wall behind the woman was a little...lumpy.

Johnny didn't notice the lumpy blue wall, not when there was a hot blonde to flirt with. He sidled up beside her, planting himself on the stool at her left. "Hey there," Yeah, he was so slick.

"Hi." said the woman in a deep, scratchy voice. She had been clubbing for a while now and her voice was pretty hoarse. "I'm Lindsay Funke, Buster's sister."

That was surprising. "I never would have guessed it. I'm Johnny Storm, pleasure to meet you."

Eve was pretty sure that urge to set her professor on fire was a bad thing. But at least it was a consistent theme, since this was sort of like dealing with stupid people, and...

Aw, screw it.

She stepped through a door.

Ed wandered through a door. Not the smallest, mind you. Of course he didn't need that.

Chris had a bad feeling about this, but he walked through one of the doors anyway.

For the last time.

"So, uh," Chad rubbed the back of his neck as he went to talk to Buster after class, "missing class last week? Was 'cause I was a tiger and didn't think about class much, 'cause tigers usually don't."

"No worries, Chad. I was kind of out of it last class anyways." Buster said. "My mother called and it wasn't pretty."

Chad's eyes may have almost impulsively darted to where Jeff might have been if his little brother was still in the room. And then they returned to Buster.

"Cool."

I had way too much fun playing Buster this summer!

Seriously, if you've never seen Arrested Development go rent it. It's awesome.

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Potpourri - Monday 8/19

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OOC