fandomhigh | Dealing with the Opposite Sex, Friday, Period 2, Class #6

"The truth." Vala began as soon as everyone arrived. "It can be a double edged sword when speaking to members of the opposite sex, or to anyone ever. Everyone believes that it's important to be honest, blah blah blah, and inspire trust, but I am here to tell you that sometimes a judicious lie can serve you both better in the long run--sometimes people don't really want the answers to the questions they ask, even though they think they do."

"Not that I would advocate lying, because goodness knows I would never do that. However, if I were, I couldn't help but mention that you'll need to learn to use your discretion in deciding when to lie and when to tell the truth--you'll develop a feel for this after you mess up a few dozen times. And don't worry about messing up, it happens to everyone."

"So, you'll be pairing up. One of you will ask a question with no political answer--for instance, whether the pants you're wearing make your behind look larger--and the other person will be answering the question, either honestly or with a lie. People asking the question should feel free to figure out that they're being lied to, or take offense at the truth."

She glanced at the class, eyeing Jeff and Irulan in particular ~~if they were there~~. "There is also an assortment of helmets and safety padding, just in case you feel you might need it."

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Jack was there, looking amused.

He never lied, he just slanted the truth in new and exciting ways.

Truth, like many things, was eminently flexible.

Jeff walked up to Jack with a most distressed expression on his face.

What else was new.

"I think my girlfriend's being held captive in a closet by her parents," he said, "What do I do?"

It had absolutely nothing to do with the matter at hand, but it was Jack, he probably knew.

Jack blinked, which was becoming his standard reaction to Jeff, then frowned thoughtfully. "Depends. Do you want her out?"

"Well, it would be sort of unethical to keep her in, wouldn't it?" Jeff asked, staring.

"Yeah, but it's not you that has her lock-- never mind." He shook his head and flashed Jeff a grin. "Okay. You want her out? I say we break her out."

Jeff grinned for about half a minute before reality sunk back in. "I don't actually know where the closet is located," he noted, morosely, "She phoned me, there was yelling."

"That could be a problem," he said slowly, pondering it. "Have you got her number? We could probably trace her from that." Jack was completely behind the idea of dashing off to rescue Jeff's girlfriend. Except-- "I didn't know you had a girlfriend."

"I've got it in my mobile," he said. What Jeff didn't mention was that his mobile had been on the beep for a while now. "It took me a while to absorb the fact," he said, "It's been two weeks now! Well, technically one, what with her having been gone since Friday and everything."

He grinned, momentarily sidetracked. "She's got the best eyes," he said, "At least forty-two of them. And hair! She's got lots of really good hair! Not wigs, I mean, actual hair. And math."

"Then is should be easy to figure out where she is...Forty-two eyes? Is she an alien?" Jack had never actually met an alien with forty-two eyes. Now he kind of wanted to.

Jeff blinked. "...No," he said, incredulously, "I didn't mean literally."

Jack was a bit disappointed. It probably showed. "Right. Of course not. Where I come from, you've got to check these things. Okay. How about first thing you find out if she's still in the closet? Give her a call. If she answers, then chances are she's out."

"It's probably best to check," Jeff agreed, and tacked that onto his mental list of things to be careful about. It didn't seem odd to him at all. "I've already phoned her like a dozen times, and so's her best friend who's starting to suspect a terrorist plot. Which is sort of mad when you think about it."

He nodded, leaning forward a little. "Depends. Who's your girlfriend?"

"Turtle. She's got this shop and she does radio once a week, which is an excellent idea unless there's squirrels around at an unexpected moment."

His paranoia had been thoroughly justified since he'd come to Fandom.

"I always knew there were secret watchers," he added, "I just never expected they'd be bribable with nuts."

Jack smirked. "You'd be surprised how many things are. Okay, your girlfriend is probably still locked in a closet at her parent's house, you don't know where it is but you've got her phone number. How do you feel about a quick raid to break her out and bring her back to Fandom? She's bound to be very appreciative, and possibly show her gratitude in a tangible way."

He really had no particular response to that, as some mental images collided.

And then his mother got involved in the whole picture.

"I had this dream where you fought my mother over Turtle," Jeff blurted, "I was grateful."

Jack managed not to laugh, but the corners of his mouth were twitching. "You had a dream about me? I'm flattered. Did I win?"

"It was sort of hard to tell," Jeff said, tilting his head, "Britt Ekland was there."

Dealing with the Opposite Sex, Friday, Period 2, Class #6

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