fandomhigh | Dealing With Stupid People [Tuesday, July 17, 2nd period]

When the students arrived in the Danger Shop, they found the room decorated as an incredibly soulless phone center.

"Welcome to the help desk!" Josh said, grinning proudly. "People are very stupid over the phone, especially when they know you can't see the expression on their faces. This is also why video conferences aren't as popular as regular conference calls--hiding your eyerolling is easier when, well, they can't see your eyes."

He waved his hands out. "Today you will be manning a help desk. I have ~~handwavily~~ put out posters to let people know that it's open during this class time, so the phones should start ringing any minute now. Your job is to answer the person's question in the most polite way possible without letting them know you think they are completely out of their minds."

"Coffee, muffins and bagels are available, answering their questions correctly is completely optional." Josh smirked. "Have fun."

[OOC: Phone lines are open for townies, students, and faculty members to call in. Josh has conveniently forgotten to specify what kind of help the students would offer. Ask for relationship advice, song requests, technical support, people to vote for or against bills in Congress, just to say hi...go nuts.]

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"Oh!" He had no idea how to fix a phone. Kriff. "Why is your phone in pieces, sir?"

"It was crushed by a huge beast! What can you do for me? The pictures I took are worth millions!"

Barney believed the signs had said to call for actual tech support, so he thought Gavin really ought to be able to help him with his phone situation.

"Uh." He tried to think of something mechanical sounding. "Have you tried...glue?"

He failed at mechanics.

"Yes, a little Elmer's goes a long way," Barney said sarcastically. "Uh, BZZZT! Thanks for playing, but no! Seriously, fix my phone!" Yes, he was basically screaming at the phone.

"Sir, there's no need to yell in my ear," Gavin said, frowning. "I can hear you just fine."

"It's my phone man, my phone," Barney was no longer screaming. He started to break down. "It's like that time Not!Moby stole my Get Psyched mix!"

"You can't just buy a new phone and start over?" Gavin asked. It made sense to him. "Get Psyched? Is that a food?"

"I could, but then I wouldn't have pictures of the dinosaur," he said quickly.

"Wait, you don't know what Get Psyched is?! It's only the single greatest mix cd EVER! You should check it out on my blog." Barney wondered about the state of the educational system today when help desk employees didn't know simple things like how to get psyched.

"Blog?" More frowning. "That sounds like something you'd throw up. Are you sick, sir? You didn't eat your phone, did you?"

"Can I ask you a question?" He didn't wait for a response. "Did you recently emerge from under a rock? Did you ride the short bus to school?" Barney grinned to himself, "Oh yeah, self five." Gavin may have heard the sound of two hands smacking together.

"Short bus?" He didn't even know what that was. "As opposed to a long bus?"

"Uh, yeah!" Barney rolled his eyes. "You're a fast one, aren't you? Got any sisters?"

"I have a sister," he said warily. "Why?"

"Rank her hotness one to ten, with 1 being a dog and 10 being a fox," Barney replied, completely serious.

"Are you serious?" Gavin asked.

"What about my question didn't seem serious to you?"

"The fact that she's my sister," Gavin snapped.

"Oh, she must be a dog, then," Barney sighed. "That's too bad."

"She's not dog!" Yelling at the phone was bad. "Take it back!"

"You're the one who said she was a dog by refusing to rate her," Barney replied sensibly. "If anyone should take it back, it's your parents."

"Kriffing moron," Gavin growled. "Son of rancor."

Barney thought this was exactly what was wrong with telephone help desks. "Speak ENGLISH! I don't know your language!" He shouted, cuz that was how you talked to non-English speakers, right?

"I am!" Gavin shouted at the phone. "You're just too dumb to understand!"

So much for helping.

"How is this a Help Desk? Perhaps a helpless desk," Barney really thought he was funny.

"Go kiss a Gamorrean," Gavin muttered.

Re: Man the Help Desk!

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