fandomhigh | How to Be a Comic Book Superhero, Week 2 [Monday, in front of the Kwik Stop]

Punctuality was not a concept found in Jay's limited mental capacity. Making an entrance, however, was definitely up there.

"Check it, mothafuckers!"

Jay exploded onto the scene, boombox unceremoniously dumped on the small table sitting beside a propped-up white board. He moonwalked back and forth in front of them for a moment before grabbing his crotch in the general direction of, well, everything vaguely female. "Fuck, I got some fine little school girl pussy for me today - and you dude. I am Jay and you lucky little bitches get to learn the fine art of fucking like -"

Silent Bob popped up behind him, peeling duct tape off the sleeve of his jacket and giving him a reproving, sad look, spreading his hands as if to ask what he thought he was doing. Sulking, Jay shoved his hands in his pockets and slouched. "Fuck, fatass, ruin all my fucking fun."

Bob tilted his head towards the students. Jay scowled. "Fine. I'm Jay and this morose motherfucker is my black manservant, Silent Bob. He's the actual teacher 'cause apparently I'm not supposed to be left alone with minors. Fucking parole."

Silent Bob rolled his eyes and started writing on the board while Jay hopped up on the table beside the boombox, swinging his legs and never shutting up. "Don't know why this fatass gets to do all the teaching." Bob wrote 'introductions' and waved at the students. Jay sneered. "Like I fucking need to know their names when those tight little bitches -"

Bob glared. Jay sighed. "Shit. Name, age, fucking bra size, don't care."

Bob drew a familiar logo that looked like a bat.

"And whatever gay-ass names you fuckers picked for yourself last week."

Introductions finished, Bob erased the board and wrote 'POWERS'. Then he wrote 'UNLAME'.

"Powers? Fuck, Lunchbox, if I had a superpower I'd have, like, the power to make hot chicks' clothes disappear like fucking that." He wiggled his fingers. Bob rolled his eyes and added 'LIKE THAT'.

[[Back from vaycay, Deadpool-mun wins all, will be around to play after about 6EST. And . . . I'm sorry about Jay. I just . . . I'm sorry.]]

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Luke crossed his arms over his chest and glared. "You shouldn't abuse a position of authority like that," he said self-righteously.

Because Jay would care.

Rikku heard her name and waved to Luke. "Heyyyyyy," she grinned. "Luke! We're totally supposed to be, like, fighting? But we shouldn't fight 'cause people are all the same and, like, snowflakes, you know?"

She blinked. "Hey, snowflakes are kinda depressing, 'cause they just fall, I mean, you only get to fly once, that's kinda sad. Is that like, Zen?"

Luke was a totally awesome name.

"Snootchies," Jay drawled with the satisfaction of a job well done.

Luke stared at both of them.

"...huh?"

"Zen. It's like a Buddhist thing," Rikku said, nodding. "Buddhists are way Zen. And mellow. But Jude's not a Buddhist. I think. I should ask him. Maybe he is. You have a good name for mellow, Luke. It's all Luuuuuuuuuuuuke. Mine doesn't do it right. You need a uuuuuuuuuuuuuu in there. Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude."

There was more nodding. She had just imparted a very serious important universal truth, you see.

More staring.

"Oh. My. Stars."

"You have stars?" Rikku asked. "Where do you keep 'em?"

Luke blinked, gave a mental shrug, and rolled with it.

"In Artoo."

"Whoa," Rikku said. "They must be, like, really tiny stars. Which makes sense 'cause they look tiny, and everybody says they're bigger close up, but maybe ..."

She leaned forward conspiratorially. "Maybe they're always the same size and they don't ever get bigger at all."

She was totally Science Girl, over here.

"...wow, that's a theory."

How to Be a Comic Book Superhero, Week 2 [Monday, in front of the Kwik Stop]

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