fandomhigh | Sanitary Living [period 5, Tuesday]

Oh, please, like Hannelore would even consider holding her class outside. There was dirt there.

"Hey," she said, as her students filed into the Danger Shop -- which was made up to look like a perfectly white, sterile classroom, and which she had carefully scrubbed and disinfected as best she could before they arrived. "Um. My name's Hannelore Ellicott-Chatham. You can call me Hannelore. Or, uh, some of my friends call me Hanners. You can call me that. 'Hey you,' works too. Um, this is Winslow."

What looked like an oversized, somewhat humanoid iPod waved. "Salutations!"

"He's an AnthroMac, and he helps me out. Um, so welcome to...class. I've never taught anything before. So, um, why don't we start by going around and saying hi, and stuff, okay? Say, uh, your name, how old you are, what you want to get out of the workshop, and...um, your favorite cleaning product, okay?"

She rocked on her heels. "Um, I can start? I'm Hannelore, like I said. I'm twenty-five, I love my Roomba more than most people love their parents, and I hope to get, um, a bunch of people who understand what 'clean' means, like I do." She paused, and added. "By the way, I have severe Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. In case you can't tell."

After everyone had introduced themselves, Hannelore smiled. Kinda. Smiled twitchily, anyway. "Okay, so here's what we're doing today." She pulled out a bag, and from it pulled eight bags of plain M&M's, which she handed (okay, tossed, because soooo not risking touching these people) out, along with napkins. "I want you to sort these in whatever way makes the most sense to you. Color, numbers, shapes -- they're not all the same size circle, believe me, I checked -- whether the M is printed correctly, whatever. I wanna see what you think is logical, 'cause it'll help me later, okay? Don't eat them until I've checked, please? And I have wet naps and gloves so your hands don't get chocolatey, because ewww."

[syllabus|roster]

[~~waaaaaaaait for the OCD, which I really should make more ridiculous than it will be.~~ It's up! Play at will!]

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Don't mind how Hanners has a tendency to stare and twitch. It means she's listening.

"My name is Inara Serra, I'm fifteen years old, I would like to develop a stronger system for organization, and I...have no idea."

"You will by the time we're done," Hannelore said confidently.

"My name is Sam Winchester, I'm 15 years old, I'd like to learn how to organize better, and my favorite cleaning product is probably heavy duty laundry detergent."

"What scent?"

It was an important thing to know.

"Anything that doesn't smell like flowers, because then my brother complains I made his laundry smell like a girl."

"Make him do his own laundry," Hannelore said, frowning. "Unless he sucks at it, in which case it's a public service."

Re: Introduce yourself! [07/10/07]

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"I'm Zack Addy, I'm sixteen, and I'm not quite sure how I got into this workshop. I like the stuff they use to clean medical equipment."

"That's usually a blend of surfactants, chelating agents, and low levels of hydrogen peroxide," Hannelore told him. "From what I've heard. I waaaant some, but they check your license and stuff."

"They also use an autoclave."

"And won't sell me one of those either."

"ANIMAL! ANIMAL!"

Animal was looking mighty spiffy today. Almost clean. For him. He even had most of the onion dip out of his fur from the welcoming picnic.

"...that's not an answer?" Hannelore said, staring.

Animal thumped his chest with his hand.

"ANIMAL! ANIMAL!"

"Um." Hannelore looked utterly bewildered.

"Hello?" Winslow tried. "Are you a Fuzzy AnthroPC?" He shrugged a wee AnthroMac shrug at Hannelore's questioning look. "I heard they were coming out with those. Maybe he's still in beta."

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"Cedric Diggory," he said. "I'm seventeen and my favorite cleaning product would be...my wand, I guess."

"...that is like, the most innuendo-y thing I've heard since I came here," Hannelore said, staring. "And I met that Ares guy."

"No, I mean a real wand," he said and pulled it out. Not dirty. "See, real wand."

"That's a stick."

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"My name is Hermione Granger, I'm sixteen years old, and..." Wow. "My favorite cleaning product- if a spell doesn't count- might be Windex." Hermione has no idea. But she's not saying that.

"He already tried that," she said, pointing at Cedric. "It's really mean to make fun of people with mental disorders."

"I'm not making fun of anyone," Hermione says, confused. "I'm a witch."

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"My name is Jim Halpert and I'm this many years old," he said, holding up nine fingers, closing his hands and then holding up seven. "I hope to learn a lot about improving my cleaning method. And my favorite cleaning product is a dirty old rag."

"No product at all?" She was just going to skip over the hand thing.

And then she paused.

"YOU'RE THE GUY WITH THE DISEASE."

"I was cured," Jim promised.

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