fandomhigh | Dealing With Stupid People [Tuesday, July 10, 2nd period]

Josh was still not exactly comfortable with the whole "being outside" thing as he perched on a picnic bench and smiled at the students as they assembled. In deference to the ridiculously hot weather, he was wearing short sleeves and khakis. No tie. Scary, no?

"Okay, one of the most annoying things you will encounter in your life will be other people," he began, rolling his eyes. "Most of us -- in my universe, anyway, some of you might have other experiences -- can't kill them by using our brains, so we have to come up with different coping methods. We'll get to the more advanced techniques -- sarcasm, the strategic use of an eye roll -- later, but today we'll start out with something that gives you a lot of chance to practice before you send out the final product."

He pulled out a sheaf of papers and dropped it onto the table. "Writing back to stupid people!" he said triumphantly. "In this exercise you need to reply to these obviously deranged letters in a polite way without asking if they've thought to seek professional help for their delusions. There are five different letters so pair up with a partner -- it's better to double check your language against someone else, at least at the beginning -- and write back to these completely insane people."

Josh grinned. "Questions? Problems? I don't really care, but ask anyway."

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"Great men?" John asked. "I'd settle for a hot girl at this point in my life."

"Oh, yeah," Rodney looked a little glazed. "Especially if she was a blonde." He shook himself a little and tried to focus on their assignment again.

John really wasn't that picky. "Blonde, brunette, whatever. A hot girl is a hot girl."

Attempting to be a better student John asked, "So, how are we gonna conclude this letter?"

"True," Rodney admitted. "But blondes are even hotter than other hot girls." What? It made total sense to him.

"We still need to say something about how this person seems to be projecting his own issues with inadequacy onto us." Rodney looked to his partner for some input.

Rodney sure was picky about hair color. John rubbed a hand through his own hair self-consciously.

"I think you're on the right track," he said. "We should ask if he is currently using any supplements, and if so, how they are helping him with his problems."

"Huh," Rodney said as he watched John play with his crazy hair and make it even messier. "Your hair has never even heard of Newton, has it?"

Going back to their assignment, Rodney started writing again.

Your obsession with penis size implies that this is an issue in your life. It saddens us that you feel so inadequate and are compelled to compensate through artificial means. Have you had much personal success with these pills that you recommend? If so, we are glad that you can finally enjoy normal sexual relations.

John raised an eyebrow. "No, Rodney, I don't think my hair knows that 'every single point mass attracts every other point mass by a force pointing along the line combining the two. With the force proportional to the product of the two masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between the point masses.'"

He looked at their letter. "I really like that you mentioned personal success, it makes it just that much meaner."

Rodney was staring. He really had not expected his partner to start quoting the law of universal gravitation. He shook himself before he could start thinking that it was kind of hot. It's not like that was anything beyond what an average high school physics student would need to memorize. So really, it was nothing special. And he would keep telling himself that.

"Um, right, so..." Rodney might have still been a little distracted. "I think that should do it. All we need is the closing."

Best wishes for your future sexual encounters. Maybe by using your own products, girls will no longer laugh at you behind your back.

Yours sincerely,
Rodney McKay and-

He stopped suddenly as he realized that he'd never gotten his partner's name.

"What's wrong?" John asked innocently, noticing Rodney had stopped writing just when he needed to put John's name on the paper. Obviously someone hadn't been paying attention in class yesterday.

Rodney might have been embarrassed if his partner hadn't tried to look innocent. Then again, he was Rodney. "You never told me who you are."

"John Sheppard," John held out his hand and smirked. "Funny how I know who you are."

"Rodney McKay," he replied needlessly as he shook John's hand. "How is it that you know me?" Rodney asked suspiciously. He thought it was a little early in the session for him to have picked up some sort of weird physicist stalker but it seemed as though stranger things than that happened around here with alarming regularity.

"Well, you were in my Monday workshop," John replied casually and totally not stalker-like. "We did this activity teachers call introducing ourselves, where we all told our names and why we were in the class."

"Oh, right," Rodney said with relief ~~and a little disappointment at not having his very own stalker~~. "I really didn't pay much attention to the other students." As if this weren't obvious.

He wrote 'John Shepherd' after his name under the valediction.

John rolled his eyes, not even ~~the SciFi Channel commercials~~ a genius could spell his name right. "It's Sheppard, spelled S-H-E-P-P-A-R-D, actually."

"Whatever," Rodney muttered as he made the correction. Names were not exactly his strong suit.

Yours sincerely,
Rodney McKay and John ~~Shepherd~~ Sheppard

"Right. That should do it. What do you think?" He looked at John since this was supposed to be a team effort after all.

John looked over the letter and slouched back in his chair. "I think we did good, Rodney."

"Alright, then." Rodney set down his pen and cracked his knuckles. "I am so ready for lunch."

Dealing With Stupid People [Tuesday, July 10, 2nd period]

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