fandomhigh | How to Be a Comic Book Superhero, Period 4

Instead of the teachers on the syllabus for their first class, the students were greeted by a man in a bright red costume that wouldn't look terribly out of place in the circus. Or maybe some bizarre court jester.

With pouches. Lots of pouches on his belt.

It was a fashion statement, shut up.

"Good morning kids! Your normal teachers couldn't be here today because... actually I have no clue why, all I know is that I'm here to teach you lil' ones aaaaalll about being a super hero. Take that people who won't let me be an Avenger! HA!"

...right. Deadpool cleared his throat, tossing a few comics out at the kids. "Those are your teachers, not me. I'm still recovering from the trauma I went through with my poor, poor car. You sick twisted kids." He shook his head in disappointment at them all, even though they didn't really do anything to him, it was just the principle of the matter. He was all about principle.

But not principals. They were mean.

"Today we're coming up with names and costumes. Names are easy, go with what your power is, or maybe whatever you think strike fear into the hearts of men. Or something edgy and hip that involves anything that sounds painful. Try it out with your fellow classmates. Help each other come up with some fun names. And if I hear anything that ends in man, boy, woman, or girl I will start punching, got it? That's just lack of effort there."

"As for costumes, let's just see a few of the bad ones to scare you punks straight and get you to pick something good. First up is the emo-boy costume of the year, from a guy who used to be called Speedball because he bounced and was oh so annoyingly happy...." He held up a large photo before passing it around. "Meet Penance! Isn't he a peach? Next up is the hairstyle that very, very few can pull off, and I wouldn't try it unless you're now a queen of Wakanda or an insanely power mutant with weather controlling abilities. Really. It'll just look stupid. See?" He held up another picture before passing it around. "Meet Ororo Munroe, or whatever her name is now. I wasn't invited to the wedding." He gave a small sniff. "So mean of my fellow X-men."

"Another issue is holes in the costume. Sure they may look cool and even hip, but think about where you put them. Eye holes? Good idea. Mouth holes? Good idea! Boob holes? BAD IDEA. Check out this costume here," Deadpool said, passing out yet another picture. "From out distinguished competetion, but shh. Don't let anyone know I mentioned them."

He looked around quickly to make sure Stan Lee wouldn't pop up and beat him up. "And last but not least kiddos, the coup de grace, drum roll please?" He paused. Damn. "Fine, rubber nipples. Just don't do it. Ever. Please."

Handing out sheets of paper and colored pencils, he continued to lecture. Kinda. "Try your best to draw the costume you'd want to wear. And remember the simple examples of bad costumes, if you do, you'll be fine. Okay? Okay! Get drawing!"

Syllabus
Marie D'Ancanto
A.J.
Allerdyce, St John
Altman, Teddy
Conrad, Marco
Jekyll, Henry
Michelangelo
Park, Adam
Perry, Neil
Rikku
Robin
Sherman, Liz
Skywalker, Luke
Sparks, Jenny

After getting the kiddies occupied by drawing, Deadpool looked down at the syllabus and frowned. Huh. He looked up for a chick with a white streak in her hair. Well, she certainly didn't look like she was about to make Sabertooth her bitch.

Alternate universe? Maybe. Well these guys didn't have a T.A. yet... and she was all crazy back home...

[[OOC: ~~Please wait for the~~ OCD is up!]]

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"Poison," she said bitterly. "I have armor that's poisonproof. I have weapons that ... he wouldn't let me ... it's not fair."

"And he didn't want it, did he?" Deadpool asked softly. "It was his choice, Rikku. Nothing you could have done to stop him."

He hated being a mentor right about now. Damn squishy feelings.

"Then he's stupid," Rikku said darkly, sniffling again. "And I hate people dying and I'm sick of it and it's not supposed to happen here. It isn't." Great, being childish again, that'd totally help things. At least she wasn't actually crying.

Deadpool thought that yeah, people shouldn't die, but they did. And left you alone.

Great, now he was feeling all emo.

"Would he want you to act like this?"

"I don't know," she said. "But if it's his stupid fault for going and dying on me then why should I care what he'd want and isn't that a terrible thing to say and see, this is why I shouldn't be a minion, 'cause I'm awful. This and the suck thing and the whole being stupid and wibbling on you and whatever."

Rikku snuggled in a bit against her Judekitty, who was still antsy. "It's okay," she said. "He's not gonna hurt you. Honest."

He was bad at dealing with this stuff! So very bad.

"Will ice cream help in any way?"

"Yes," Rikku said, nodding quickly. "It would. A lot. I think."

She glanced at him curiously, and then covered the Judekitty's ears. "You aren't gonna hurt him, right?"

"No, no, not while he's a cat."

"Not while he's human, either," Rikku said, with a sharp look in her eyes. "I'm serious, if you hurt him, I will come after you and make sure that you will re--"

She stopped abruptly when the Judekitty yawned. "Awwww, that was so cute! Is you tired, kitty?"

Deadpool rolled his eyes. Teenage girls. "The only time I'm going to hurt him is if he hurts you first, we've established this."

"Okay," she said, scritching the kitty's ears. "Just checking, you know. You get all protective and it's sweet, just no ... disemboweling the boyfriend, okay?" The Judekitty eeped. "It's okay. He's not gonna."

Rikku looked up again. "Ice cream? Really?"

How to Be a Comic Book Superhero, Period 4 - 07/09

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