fandomhigh | How to Be a Comic Book Superhero, Period 4

Instead of the teachers on the syllabus for their first class, the students were greeted by a man in a bright red costume that wouldn't look terribly out of place in the circus. Or maybe some bizarre court jester.

With pouches. Lots of pouches on his belt.

It was a fashion statement, shut up.

"Good morning kids! Your normal teachers couldn't be here today because... actually I have no clue why, all I know is that I'm here to teach you lil' ones aaaaalll about being a super hero. Take that people who won't let me be an Avenger! HA!"

...right. Deadpool cleared his throat, tossing a few comics out at the kids. "Those are your teachers, not me. I'm still recovering from the trauma I went through with my poor, poor car. You sick twisted kids." He shook his head in disappointment at them all, even though they didn't really do anything to him, it was just the principle of the matter. He was all about principle.

But not principals. They were mean.

"Today we're coming up with names and costumes. Names are easy, go with what your power is, or maybe whatever you think strike fear into the hearts of men. Or something edgy and hip that involves anything that sounds painful. Try it out with your fellow classmates. Help each other come up with some fun names. And if I hear anything that ends in man, boy, woman, or girl I will start punching, got it? That's just lack of effort there."

"As for costumes, let's just see a few of the bad ones to scare you punks straight and get you to pick something good. First up is the emo-boy costume of the year, from a guy who used to be called Speedball because he bounced and was oh so annoyingly happy...." He held up a large photo before passing it around. "Meet Penance! Isn't he a peach? Next up is the hairstyle that very, very few can pull off, and I wouldn't try it unless you're now a queen of Wakanda or an insanely power mutant with weather controlling abilities. Really. It'll just look stupid. See?" He held up another picture before passing it around. "Meet Ororo Munroe, or whatever her name is now. I wasn't invited to the wedding." He gave a small sniff. "So mean of my fellow X-men."

"Another issue is holes in the costume. Sure they may look cool and even hip, but think about where you put them. Eye holes? Good idea. Mouth holes? Good idea! Boob holes? BAD IDEA. Check out this costume here," Deadpool said, passing out yet another picture. "From out distinguished competetion, but shh. Don't let anyone know I mentioned them."

He looked around quickly to make sure Stan Lee wouldn't pop up and beat him up. "And last but not least kiddos, the coup de grace, drum roll please?" He paused. Damn. "Fine, rubber nipples. Just don't do it. Ever. Please."

Handing out sheets of paper and colored pencils, he continued to lecture. Kinda. "Try your best to draw the costume you'd want to wear. And remember the simple examples of bad costumes, if you do, you'll be fine. Okay? Okay! Get drawing!"

Syllabus
Marie D'Ancanto
A.J.
Allerdyce, St John
Altman, Teddy
Conrad, Marco
Jekyll, Henry
Michelangelo
Park, Adam
Perry, Neil
Rikku
Robin
Sherman, Liz
Skywalker, Luke
Sparks, Jenny

After getting the kiddies occupied by drawing, Deadpool looked down at the syllabus and frowned. Huh. He looked up for a chick with a white streak in her hair. Well, she certainly didn't look like she was about to make Sabertooth her bitch.

Alternate universe? Maybe. Well these guys didn't have a T.A. yet... and she was all crazy back home...

[[OOC: ~~Please wait for the~~ OCD is up!]]

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Poor, poor Rogue, she had no clue the horror awaiting her with the real teachers.

"Aww, creepy Uncle Xavier's bootcamp for the kiddies. How'd that go? Did you take names and kick ass? Or run out of gum and kick ass?"

"I think I just managed to kick some ass," Rogue replied. "Or at least... more ass than I used to be able to kick."

"Good for you," Deadpool said encouragingly. He was going to assume she wasn't all Miss Marvel-ized yet. She seemed less crazy at least.

"How old am I where you're from?" Rogue asked. "And it's weird to ask questions like that."

"No clue, too many retcons, but I can say for certain that you aren't a teenager."

Rogue blinked. "Retcons?" She shrugged. "Are you an X-Man? I don't think I've met you before. Any version of you."

Yeah, he got that reaction a lot. "I am, but they refuse to admit it. Damn hypocrites. Just because I'm not technically a mutant..."

"You're not?" Rogue asked. "How's that work?"

He waved his hand dismissively. "Weapon X, blah, blah, experiments, blah, blah, exposition, Wolverine's a giant baby... You know, the usual."

Rogue stifled a snicker. "I don't think I've ever heard anyone call Logan a baby before."

"Well he totally is!" He closed his fists in a classic 'snikt snikt' movement and started speaking in a gruff Canadian voice. ...well, more Canadian at least. "I got experimented on my Weapon X, boo-hoo!"

"Who didn't? I mean, come on! We ought to have reunions at this point!"

Rogue couldn't help but laugh. "I wonder if the Logan I know has met other people that were experimented on," she mused. "Or I wonder if I should tell him that there are probably others out there and he should look for them."

"Well he knows Creed, right? There's one of our illustrious club there. Aaaand. Huh. I think you might have been at one point. I think half your team has been at some time or another. It's so hard to figure out what's canon any more." Deadpool sighed sadly. "Not like it used to be."

"What do canons have to do with anything?" Rogue asked. "Don't tell me there's time travel involved. The whole concept gives me a headache."

Deadpool nodded sadly. Time travel was involved a lot with those kooky X-men.

"Hey! Is Nate around in your time yet?"

Rogue shook her head. "I don't think so. It doesn't sound familiar."

Deadpool pouted a little over that. No him or Nate? What kind of sad world was that?

"Well trust me, you'll know him when you see him. Glowy eyed and the normal Summers family stick up the ass."

"He's related to Scott?" Rogue asked, smirking more.

"Son from the future," Deadpool replied, a matching smirk on his face. "With a the clone of Jean Grey. I had a chart of it somewhere to explain to Aly once..."

He started digging around in the pouches on his belt before pulling out a crumpled piece of paper (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y174/lainey_chan/Natesorigin.jpg).

Rogue stared at the chart. Jean's death was a little too fresh for her to be amused by it ~~though her player almost fell out of her chair laughing~~ and she just shook her head. "That's... uh...."

She wondered if she should warn Scott about a Jean clone.

Oh, she'd get over it after the third time. Everyone died at least once so it wasn't so depressing anymore.

"And then he came back to save the world and use a lot of guns. The end!"

"Well... that's good, I guess," Rogue said. She was beginning to wonder if Deadpool was missing some vital braincells.

Not anymore! Unless Nate missed something... hmmm. He might have.

"Like Jesus with an Uzi. But don't let Summers know just yet. It has to be a surprise!"

Rogue bit her lip, but figured that he knew best. "Okay, I won't say anything," she promised. "So you go out on X-Men missions and everything?"

"Well really just one and that was to kill Nate and I may have shot a few of the X-Men because I thought Nate was doing the right thing so..." He trailed off awkwardly. "But I did get a uniform. It was all black and horrible and I threw up in my mouth a little just thinking about it."

Re: Pick a Name

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How to Be a Comic Book Superhero, Period 4 - 07/09

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