fandomhigh | Dealing With Stupid People [Monday, June 11, 2nd period]

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Dealing With Stupid People [Monday, June 11, 2nd period]

Josh leaned up against a desk in the Danger Room, hands in his pocket and a grin on his face.

"President Andrew Jackson, in the main foyer of his White House, had a big block of cheese and I can't believe I'm giving this speech," he began. "He did not, sadly, have a cracker the size of Lake Tahoe. I checked. My old boss, the White House Chief of Staff, used this folksy excuse to make us all talk to total crackpots once a year and today that privilege falls to you."

He waved his hands. "Pick a desk, make yourself comfortable, the computer'll drop someone insane off to talk to you. Try not to laugh in their faces--they're all based on real people. Um, sadly."

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Ronan smiled. "I'd be happy to discuss this with you." He gestured to another chair. "Would you like a cup of tea?"

"No, thank you," the man said, clearly his throat again. "I have this speech memorized and you'll distract me. Two-thirds of the pennies made in the last thirty years in this country have dropped out of circulation. It's also bad for the environment: production requires the mining of millions of tons of
copper and zinc each year. No one uses these things," the man concluded, makin a face. "Give me a reason they're still around."

"Well," Ronan said, "that's actually very simple. You see, artificially adjusting the prices of every single product and service available in this country would result in an economic collapse. Therefore, pennies must remain in circulation so that prices that result in amounts not a multiple of five aren't required to be so artificially adjusted. It's really quite simple. Are you sure you wouldn't like some tea?"

The man looked crestfallen. "...okay," he said sullenly. "I just want to not have pants that get all droopy from my change."

Ronan smiled warmly. "Well, there are other solutions to that," he said. "Certainly, one doesn't need to carry all of one's change all of the time. Also, there are newer alternatives available for professional men. Certainly it's becoming much more common for men to carry shoulder bags and the like, and one can keep one's change in a pocket of these bags. This helps prevent... droopy pants."

(OOC: Now with right account.)

"You mean, like, a purse?" the man hissed. "Really?"

Ronan shrugged. "I didn't say purse. Just... a bag. Of some sort. Surely you can find something you like. Or just carry less change."

This guy was totally the one who used exact change for everything.

"I could...I suppose..." he said slowly.

"Yes," Ronan said, "you absolutely can! And you'll feel great satisfaction for taking care of your problem on your own."

"I'll try it," the man decided, "but if it doesn't work, I'm coming back to tell you about it."

"I'm certain that this solution will work perfectly well. After all, you seem to be a very capable man, and as this solution relies on your own ability, there don't seem to be any problems." Not to mention that by phrasing it this way, Ronan foists any failure of the solution onto the crazy man.

"Okay," the man said, scratching his head. "Can I have a pen with the White House logo on it?" he asked. "Mother said I'd never amount to anything..."

Ronan shook his head. "Unfortunately, all of the pens to which I have access are carefully counted for inventory. If one goes missing, such as if I were to give it to you, it would be considered theft of office supplies and I could be fired, and possibly charge criminally." Where does he come up with this stuff?

"Oh," the man said, disappointed. "Thanks anyway, I guess." He stood up and held out his hand. "I'll be in touch."

Ronan shook his hand and smiled. "If I've done my job properly, sir, you'll be so satisfied that we'll never hear from you again."

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Dealing With Stupid People [Monday, June 11, 2nd period]

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