Dealing With Stupid People [Monday, June 11, 2nd period]

[professor-lyman.livejournal.com]

Josh leaned up against a desk in the Danger Room, hands in his pocket and a grin on his face.

"President Andrew Jackson, in the main foyer of his White House, had a big block of cheese and I can't believe I'm giving this speech," he began. "He did not, sadly, have a cracker the size of Lake Tahoe. I checked. My old boss, the White House Chief of Staff, used this folksy excuse to make us all talk to total crackpots once a year and today that privilege falls to you."

He waved his hands. "Pick a desk, make yourself comfortable, the computer'll drop someone insane off to talk to you. Try not to laugh in their faces--they're all based on real people. Um, sadly."

Comments

Re: Big Block of Cheese!

[professor-lyman.livejournal.com]

And oh, they were crazy.

A young man with enormous glasses walked into Isabel's office and closed the door carefully.

"I'm here to talk about Roswell," he hissed.

Re: Big Block of Cheese!

[izzyalienqueen.livejournal.com]

The scary thing was? Isabel sort of recognized him.

"Oh? What about it?"

Re: Big Block of Cheese!

[professor-lyman.livejournal.com]

"I know about the ship that crashed there," he whispered. "I know the Air Force is covering the whole thing up. I want the government to come clean about the vast conspiracy and just admit where iPod technology is really coming from."

Re: Big Block of Cheese!

[izzyalienqueen.livejournal.com]

Isabel nodded, carefully taking a sip of coffee to prevent any giggles from escaping. "We'd need proof. You know how the FBI, the CIA, the NSA and all those other groups are. They won't even tell us stuff. We'd need proof to take public."

Re: Big Block of Cheese!

[professor-lyman.livejournal.com]

"You're the White House," the man squeaked, outraged. "Make them tell you!"

Re: Big Block of Cheese!

[izzyalienqueen.livejournal.com]

"But don't you know? We're just a figurehead," she said sadly. "They've got the real power. And even that's saying too much."

Re: Big Block of Cheese!

[professor-lyman.livejournal.com]

"Really?!"

The man clapped his hands over his mouth. "How can I help?" he muttered after a moment.

Re: Big Block of Cheese!

[izzyalienqueen.livejournal.com]

Isabel was so going to hell for this.

"Find the proof. Get it to the media. If it's public enough, they won't be able to get to you. Because if they do? They'll make you one of them."

Re: Big Block of Cheese!

[professor-lyman.livejournal.com]

The man nodded carefully, then reached into his pocket for his tinfoil hat. "They'll never stop me!" he vowed.

Re: Big Block of Cheese!

[izzyalienqueen.livejournal.com]

"Be careful," she warned. "Because they're everywhere. They could be the cable guy, the waitress, the government representative you're talking to." The pen she'd left on the table suddenly started floating through the air.

Re: Big Block of Cheese!

[professor-lyman.livejournal.com]

"OH MY GOD! You're one of them!"

He dove under his chair.

"Don't kill me!"

Re: Big Block of Cheese!

[izzyalienqueen.livejournal.com]

"I won't," Isabel promised sincerely. "I'm one of the good guys. We want to help humans. It's the others. They're evil."

Re: Big Block of Cheese!

[professor-lyman.livejournal.com]

"What do they look like?" he asked, covering his tinfoiled head with his arms. "Because you're hot."

Re: Big Block of Cheese!

[izzyalienqueen.livejournal.com]

"You know the guy out there with the coffee?" she said in a hushed whisper. "Pretty excitable? He's one of them."

Re: Big Block of Cheese!

[professor-lyman.livejournal.com]

"Oh. My. God," the guy repeated.

Re: Big Block of Cheese!

[izzyalienqueen.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, I'm here to keep an eye on him," Isabel explained. "Fortunately he's easily distracted by caffiene. But there are others out there. Just like him. You have to be careful because nothing will stop them from their ultimate goal. Do you want top know what it is?"

Re: Big Block of Cheese!

[professor-lyman.livejournal.com]

The man nodded his head vigorously.

Re: Big Block of Cheese!

[izzyalienqueen.livejournal.com]

"Coffee," she told him, nodding seriously the entire time. "They want to take all the coffee and caffiene from the earth."

Re: Big Block of Cheese!

[professor-lyman.livejournal.com]

His mouth dropped open. "No!"

Re: Big Block of Cheese!

[izzyalienqueen.livejournal.com]

"They're evil."

Re: Big Block of Cheese!

[professor-lyman.livejournal.com]

"I didn't know they were that evil!" he said in a horrified whisper. "How do I get past him?"

Re: Big Block of Cheese!

[izzyalienqueen.livejournal.com]

"Don't go near the coffee pot. Just keep your head down and scurry past him," Isabel told him. "If you go near the coffee, he'll think you're going to take the last drop and get twitchy. You don't want that to happen."

Re: Big Block of Cheese!

[professor-lyman.livejournal.com]

"Thank you," the man whispered as he crawled out from under his chair, then bolted from the room, not making eye contact with anyone.

Josh watched him race past. "Do I want to know?"

Re: Big Block of Cheese!

[izzyalienqueen.livejournal.com]

"Probably not," she laughed. "I'm so going to hell and it's all your fault."

Re: Big Block of Cheese!

[professor-lyman.livejournal.com]

"I'll be glad to have the company," Josh said, grinning.