fandomhigh | Dealing With Stupid People [Monday, June 11, 2nd period]

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stupid people

Dealing With Stupid People [Monday, June 11, 2nd period]

Josh leaned up against a desk in the Danger Room, hands in his pocket and a grin on his face.

"President Andrew Jackson, in the main foyer of his White House, had a big block of cheese and I can't believe I'm giving this speech," he began. "He did not, sadly, have a cracker the size of Lake Tahoe. I checked. My old boss, the White House Chief of Staff, used this folksy excuse to make us all talk to total crackpots once a year and today that privilege falls to you."

He waved his hands. "Pick a desk, make yourself comfortable, the computer'll drop someone insane off to talk to you. Try not to laugh in their faces--they're all based on real people. Um, sadly."

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The woman took that as a cue to fire up the Powerpoint.

Lucky Inara.

"For many years, the Mercator projection (http://www.culturaldetective.com/images/Mercator.gif) has been the most common map used in the Western Hemisphere," they concluded after a ~~stupifyingly dull~~ thorough briefing. "But its horizontal lines, while useful for navigating by ship along the latitudes, makes Europe appear much more important than it is and diminishes the importance of the continents in the Southern Hemisphere."

"Are the continents in the Southern Hemisphere just as important? And how can a map show importance, anyway?" She studied the projection again. "If you're discussing a round planet, why can't you just show a holographic projection as it actually is? Why resort to using paper, which seems a scandalous waste of natural resources?"

The younger man who had remained quiet up until now opened his mouth to give the spiel, then closed it again.

Opened.

Closed.

Finally: "...holographic projection?"

"Yes," she nodded, happy to be helping, "It seems like that would also be a much more accurate representation of the shape of the planet. Perhaps even with shifting tectonic plates and ocean movements."

"...we can do that?"

"I assume so. Aren't you the people who should be asking me that question, though?" She angled her head and studied them, "And if you can't, why can't you? Maybe that is the problem you should be addressing?"

"But we don't have that kind of technology!" the man blustered.

"Why not?" Yes, she'd figured out they weren't that advanced yet, but they had to get there somehow, right?

"That's not our specialty! We're mapmakers. That sort of space-age pie in the sky...ness--that's some else's department!"

"It's not your job to make the most accurate and representational maps possible?" Inara folded her arms and leaned back in her chair, "I'm sorry, that was my misunderstanding of your presentation, then. Why are you here?" The wasting my time was left unsaid.

"We had been aiming a little more...realistically," the older man said, happy to be back on point again. "We want to suggest you use the Peters projection rather than the Mercator."

He flipped the world upside down, looking pleased with himself.

Inara blinked, obviously less than impressed. "And?"

"...it doesn't freak you out?" the man asked hopefully. "It normally freaks people out."

"It looks basically the same, but the geometry is different," Inara shrugged, "but I think the mathematicians are down the hall. I could get them if you'd like."

The three cartographers visibly deflated.

"Okay," the older one said meekly.

There were, of course, no mathematicians down the hall, so now Inara was a bit stuck. "They're a bit busy at the moment. Before I bother them, why don't you tell me why it makes a difference which inaccurate projection you use?"

That, of course, took another fifteen minutes of ~~death by Powerpoint~~ intensive slides to demonstrate exactly why they found the Peters projection to be so much better.

Inara really should have had some coffee. "That's really quite interesting. And why is this important to you?"

~~The longest~~ ten minutes later, the older man concluded his life story with "and that's why you need maps."

"That's," mind-bogglingly boring, "definitely something worth considering, and I'll be sure to take your message to the President."

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Dealing With Stupid People [Monday, June 11, 2nd period]

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